I love being in my bed. It is my life’s greatest joy

I’m sorry for being mean

I went from a girlie that is under the weather to a bitch that is sick so quickly

I am being so dramatic

I’m awake

I hope they put me down

Not to be a unfuckable turbovirgin femcel loser but I would actually like to hold a girls hand and go on a walk with them

Imagining two boys kissing but they’re girls

i have so much capacity for joy and homosexuality in my heart 🥰

Ripping out my hair but only at the top for the friar look

Holy fucking shit you guys. You are not gonna believe it

I’m like if Tame Impala was just one guy

My words don’t need to go to the internet every time

One of my neighbors has been putting up these fish facts posters. All kinds of different fish, marine, freshwater, deep, shallow, all kinds. This is a good one. “Stg this real fish” took me out. Good work, neighbor.

I am running for president of my local chapter of Christians Against Premarital Sex

lmao

this has become a very important video to me

I p c d l m n o p q r s t u v w x v q

Smoked gouda in my pocket. You know I’m THAT bitch

I bet crash bandicoot fucks like a power drill and just twists his shit up in there

Gas station weed got me feeling like crash bandicoot but the girl one that you can play as in the new game whatever her name is

Sometimes oomf is so hot and you want to suck her dick so badly

Homes are built for sale, ads are crammed into every nook and cranny they can fit, everything tracks and records for the sake of selling you and selling to you better. AI is hamfisted into everything because it needs more to feed the beast, but the return is diminishing and lackluster.

Unicorn curl

I’ve got one very significant curl in the perfect center of my bangs, and I think unicorn curl is my new look

I want to help people

i need to become more delusional and self-obsessed

eating the spicy cheese like a good little rat girl

It has never been more night night

I NEED TO GET OFF MY FUCKING PHONE AND TOUCH GRASS. I CAN TELL THIS IS THE CASE BECAUSE I POSTED IN CAPS LOCK LIKE PRESIDENT DIPSHIT SEVERAL TIMES IN THE PAST DAY. THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION TO THIS MATTER. Laney 💕💕

if u haven’t heard, ya girl has the flu. I’ve missed 5 days of work total so far and has no more PTO, so I’ll be losing almost half a pay check. breathing is getting worse and i’m afraid I may be slipping into pneumonia territory as I often do. hate 2 ask but literally anything helps ♥️ 🏳️‍⚧️

Dick and pussy. And dick and pussy. And pussy pussy. Dick dick. And dick and pussy.

Admiral Rachel Levine was the first transgender person to be confirmed by the Senate to serve in the federal government. Her official portrait at HHS headquarters has been altered. n.pr/48HypvT

I love her I love her so much but it’s I that’s her and I’m also I

I can’t have beef, but I can have beef ramen, so I get it. Overrated, honestly

Just a reminder that Rush Limbaugh, Anita Bryant, Margaret Thatcher, Rush Limbaugh, among so many other animated turds of history are dead! Happy Friday 💕💕

I have awful things to say about people who hate LA but live there and complain about anything that is different wherever they travel. You’re insufferable. Please walk into a canyon.

I get jealous when people talk about red meat. I want to feel ravenous but my tummy will hurts :(

Yall I am going to be so for real right now. I’m starting to think that the USA isn’t the best at everything and may not have invented literally everything. Please someone tell me I’m wrong

insane local news just dropped. i've lived in a part of KC for ~decade and it's been an inside joke with friends and service workers that the local biz/party district is ran by a cartel of biz owners who bully out new ventures and replace them with generic dive bars for white suburbanites. Well UH

WOKE got me accusing beautiful women of ecoterrorism.

What if dr. Pepper was an anti-vaxxer tho

Kinda wanna go get demons exorcised out of me at a mega church because I would really enjoy thrashing and convulsing on the floor right now

I just killed a friendly garden spider because I’m evil and full of rage. My life is ruined

A fellow TA knows my deadname and uses it despite the fact that I have never used my deadname at this school :)

A dodgeball team would cure me