Ugh I need to shave ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh

LMAO THEY CHANGED DOLLAPALOOZA TO DIVAPALOOZA HMMMMM

Oooooh right I think everyone is annoying

My favorite TV genre is vegetables telling Bible stories

Okay I think Vivian Wilson is kinda cute

Eggs are only good when I make them, otherwise they suck

We’re more than friends we’re… we’re… we’re coworkers

remembered a good tweet

IT DOESN'T HAVE TO BE LIKE THIS IT DOESN'T HAVE TO BE LIKE THIS IT DOESN'T HAVE TO BE LIKE THIS KILLER WHALE KILLER WHAAAAAAAALE

You could never get me to put my estrogen start date in bio

bunny agent (♂)

[...]

Polyphemus type beat

how about you sit amet your ass down before i make you feel some of that lorem ipsum dolor

Why am I so tired today *smokes 3rd Indica joint

hey i just showed this post to the group chat for the pretty girls who are secretly out to get you and yeah, we’re gonna rake you over the coals for this one. you’re gonna wish you were never born.

Not my ass reading tutorials on text hierarchy

Yo wb wives.fish

I like my sharp nails, but maybe I do them the lesbian way...

Boss makes a dollar, I make slightly less than a dollar, that's why I do my hair on company time.

Hey trannies, how do I accomplish this? Does it require me to purchase a web domain?

No one ever wants to call it a bomb threat so that I don't have to go to work :(

they should make a Staying Up Late that doesnt cause an Extra Sleepy In Morning

Cigarettes that moan when you smoke them

🎯

Congrats to Juicy Love Dion, the winner of this week's LaLaPaRuza

Cuckette

It occurs to me that my narrow casting joke sucks

The FCC is going to fine you for narrow-posting

My girl's got eyeballs

“do you like posteign” do sharks like swimming

It is the children who are unc

I want a cute little domain handle >:(

everything still stupid on here? ok

You cannot jerk me off to completion in a way that matters.

So is this anything?

I trained to date older women by learning to love the taste of Fresca

At 600 followers I will kil- sorry hold on...

Bf who sees me naked every day: woaaaah can I see your nudes? :o

This is true I do do this

if u have sex i think that kinda has troubling implications frankly. do better

SEAROWS IS TRANS???

i got a guy who makes creepy ceramic clowns on speed dial if you need

there is much pain in this world but not on this porch

all girls should have halos

A trans woman just handed me an American Spirit blue... Everything is as it should be

I should post hole

the way i feel about puppy girls is exactly how i feel about normal dogs

Puppy girl discourse? Great- I don't care for them.