i think we should make school zone speeds faster, im thinking 100mph+ because when its 20mph all you're doing is giving pedophiles a closer look at them

my dick constantly getting wacked off like the mafia

when the dixie chicks killed earl they left so much evidence like amateurs. but really its law enforcement that is total shit. how did they not catch those chicks

sometimes i just really miss working at the grocery store in 2011 because they didnt have cameras in the dairy cooler and we would just slam chocolate milks all day. our boss joe would go apeshit because we would just leave empty chocolate milks all over. when i say we it was just mostly me though

no matter what at the end of the day we all are shitting farting and poopin. you can't run from that

android auto and apple car play but for walking

trump really liked big beautiful bill huh

normalize waving at people with the same make and model of car as you like the bikers do

damn girl you eat breakfast, lunch, dinner and a few snacks in between with that ass?

so being chopped is NOT good? what about those new york sandwiches

theres this guy i know irl who is an actual doctor now in medicine. he also writes and records music. although i support him as a friend i wanna say "just put the surgeries in the bag bro" because how many doctors are in shitty local bands?

bsky is fucking up processing your post but the post is so good you smoke 13 cigarettes letting it upload. it will only get 2 likes

do guys named clint even know they are named after a body part in the pussy?

i hate when people play the drums like dude thats loud as fuck please stop im trying to sleep

macaroni and cheese except instead of macaroni you use two pieces of white bread fried in a pan with the cheese in between like some kind of hot cheese sandwich, id suggest butter or even mayonnaise to get a nice brown crust on the bread. could be the move

we got crop tops i want field tops

on reddit reading shit, laughing, digging for gold, up dooting, down dooting, getting my karma in line, investing in small memes, thanks for the stranger kind gold im gay you wond the internet today for the day

no longer gonna describe sex as porking since im vegetarian

that first fart feeling in those fresh shorts

homophobic journalist at pride fest trying to get the facts straight

birthday borealis for me yesterday in kansas. what an awesome gift

seth rogen here joe rogan's taller brother. check out this incense set im selling from my company house plant. this lowly priced incense holder is made of African mud and the incense are cones made of caribou shit. get the set today for an affordable $489.99

hey wanna go back to my house and cook some pb&j's?

yall ever just be having a bad morning then drop your fucking sock in the toilet? good thing there wasn't a gun within 4 feet of me or id be missing the top of my skull rn

dr diagnosed me with not being able to stop making and eating pb&j's

wouldnt it be funny if the aliens were like "we use the metric system" then the usa was like fuck that and we shot em then exploited them for profit?

this is honestly one my best thoughts and its going to be an a24 movie

you die, then the two sonic guys in the car start pounding your asshole as you realize the afterlife is whatever you wanted it to be

growing up the holes in your dad's underwear weren't from the farting but from the friends he made along the way

anyone ever listened to this band?

i can never forgive pakistan for what they did to michael j fox

if you think about it there really is invisible harry potter type shit happening all around us like wifi

anytime i see a man smoking a cigarette i call him a beta pussy and whoop their ass. cigarettes were invented for women hence the "ette" on the end. you should be smoking a cigar, pipe, or snorting that shit pussy boy

still obsessed with the idea of going to a church service and yelling spoilers anytime they start reading the bible

gonna do a whole 30 minutes of shitty impressions of me in movies at the open mic comedy night

[me if i was in the movie "cars"] FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!!!!! WHAT HAVE THEY DONE TO ME NOW IM A FUCKING CAR!!!!!!!!!! FUUUUUUUUUUUCK THIS ACTUALLY HURTS FUUUUUUUUCK!!!!

[me if i was in the movie "war of the worlds"] FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HOLY FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK! FUCKING RUN THERES BIG FUCKING ROBOTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"im so lazy i use the clothes basket as my closet" brother i use the actual washer and dryer as my closet you're a rookie

nothing more beta than being a cuck for billionaires you stupid fucking trump fucks

my daughter died in a hotdog fire last night. bad start to the work week

holding the automatic door open for people at walmart

i dk officers im gay

what body wash do you use? i wanna smell like bsky

everybody hates me. i love that

gonna potter her harry until she hermiones on my weasley

im sorry the stephen hawkin ai videos of him bull riding are very fun to watch and masturbate to

"men be careful these foods can destroy your prostate" then its just 9 pictures of hot dogs

when dave grohl says "is someone getting the best of you" it means someone is getting the best of him besides his wife

"how is this not viral" because its a guy picking at his butthole becky its not a very good video and the lighting is off