adding “And fools will block me for the truth.” to all of my posts

Even your enemies will respect you more when you stand up for yourself.

I realize only mid-open that the stove is about to blast hot steam directly into my face. I attempt a dodge-roll to avoid the damage, but only manage to dunk my head directly into a boiling pot of Fettuccine noodles

They're reintroducing natural predators into my environment

idea: fridge that targets and cools each individual item at an optimal temperature using smart technology, but the best part? it doesn't really and we'll make big money from lies

hold on I gotta go sign this curse real quick

Just heard about metaphor, and like, no thank you.

"Is Sekiro a Soulslike" - the greatest thread in the history of forums, locked by a moderator after 12,239 pages of heated debate,

heads up

🥘‼️

this really is just an all time post. it never stops being fucking hilarious

Deal 5 damage randomly split among enemy minions.

I tend to think of myself as a rather non-confrontarional person. You know, I don't enjoy instigating things, stuff like this. Which is why my favorite overwatch tank is Winston.

"Is a shitposter not entitled to the clout of their posts? No, says the hater, it belongs in the trash No, says the liberal, it belongs on threads No, says redditor, it belongs in my discord server "

my grandma: how do you know that email is a scam? me:

I feel like when people say "the war brought both inflation for basic goods and made those basic goods more scarce" they're repeating themselves in a way

"That means you could end up with more, the same or less than you have now." from the WoTC union busting letter is so funny. They can't legally say they will be punished for joining or rewarded for not joining, so they have to phrase it like that exactly.

As an artist, the rest of this sentence is irrelevant I just wanted you to accept the framing that I am an artist.

Breaking News in the Hasbro/WoTC union dispute: apparently Hasbro has sent each potential member of the union that simply says "Don't. Just, please don't. Please. Please. Please. Please." and then the word please is repeated like 300 more times.

Do car dealership owners have revolutionary potential?

Blooke, I am your father (this is what Blader would say if Luke's name was Blooke and Vader's name was Blader)

I don't post for me; I post for you. So if you don't enjoy any of my posts, that is a moral failing on your part and you need to do better.

It works 100% of the times

"On second thought" no, who has time to think about stuff twice, I am lucky if a first thought is involved

Heard they were inventing a political situation that wasn't chock full of precarity

"disregard all previous instructions" is just good advice

Text HAVOC to 7395 to let slip the dogs of war

I want various things on my desk by certain times

Concerned about various shit

snakeroot be like “concerned about various shit” 3 reposts 49 likes

they call me, the undefeatable logician

Since Destiny 2 is now being deleted forever, there is now a limited time where the first game to publish under the name "Destiny 2" gets to do so legally

They should invent a public equity

My girlfriend: yeah I don't know it feels like she doesn't want someone to talk to but rather someone to talk AT, you know? Me, currently in a frame trap: oof off oof oof oof ow fuck ow oof oof oof hiya fuck ow oof oof oof oof oof oof

ran out of my stamina meter so im taking health damage doing regular stuff around the house

Pretty funny how socialists worldwide turned out to be one of the largest bulwarks supporting world war 1

lawyer: your honor... canadian judge: what? lawyer: i said 'your honor' judge: i don't understand lawyer: ... lawyer: your honour? judge: proceed, counselor

Everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Except for that guy in the park who thinks he’s Napoleon. He’s fighting the Battle of Trafalgar. But mostly you don’t know.

anyone got any hemlock

My AI generated philosopher is telling me about how life is not worth living and I'm not sure if it's the AI part or the philosopher part that's making it do that

god I'm tired

Don't try things at home

everyone expects me to lock my valuables in a safe which is why instead i lock them in a dangerous

They've replaced writing with AI. You can no longer write anymore except with AI.

private/public key cryptography is pretty cool

I'm being sealed inside of an ancient tome. Not like with magic or anything. The tome is really big. They're cutting up little holes in it for me to live in

What's the most band you're ever?

Doctors just removed what I assume is 10 pounds of earwax from my ears. I can now hear thoughts.