i 🫶 petrochemicals

trump is kind of the bizzaro franz ferdinand in that if some serbian guys assassinated him it would set off more or less the opposite of world war one

why is everyone quote posting my post with really bad metaphors

Son of a bitch, I had 10K on Kelshi that the world was gonna end today

What do you want Democrats to do? There's nothing they can do. However, it's very important you continue to vote for them and give them money, as they continue to do nothing.

"Don't these right wing commentators realize they're being contradictory" yes, they do. They're doing it on purpose, in order to prove that they're not doing it.

me trying to say something positive to my friend who's been working out without lying:

i will eat anything for 39 cents

Pretty fucked up that if I want new notifications I'm expected to post something.

ot by the Coward Robert Ford

was not looking forward to jumping straight from one job to another, but my current company decided to make it easy by paying for the next 2 weeks but having me stop work today

⚠️ made over 100 replies yesterday ⚠️ made 10 Perfect Replies

"The apocalypse could be good for me" Originally posted by user @snakeroot.bsky.social on 10:22 PM, April 5, 2026. Original post can be located here: bsky.app/profile/snak...

People are going to jump down my throat for this but I just kind of rifle through books looking for the words I like

guy who's never helped anyone win an election in their entire life: here's what the democratic party must do to regain power

Turns out, near instantaneous travel is possible using alcohol. That's right, the planet's distant stars are now only a few light-beers away

This is the first website built entirely on the purity of the user's soul. I'm having no trouble accessing it. If you are then you must look within

imagine if there was the demiruge but he wasn't evil or anything, just like under qualified but his boss is taking an extended break and he's trying his best, okay?

Chotiner: So you struggle with waking up even as late as 9AM, correct? r/getoutofbed user: Yes, I've tried everything but I just can't get up. Chotiner: With a typical 10PM bedtime, that's almost 11 hours of sleep. And you're still tired in the morning? user: Maybe a bit less than 11 hours...

I actually love how everything sometimes takes forever to load for no reason. Really builds the anticipation.

: electric boogaloo

It's pretty cool how on mobile here sometimes my taps will register as way lower than they actually are. Turns liking posts into a sort of mini game, where the price of failure is going to someone's profile by accident

irony

I'm an air fryer

Omni-Man going to one of the "parents of estranged kids" forums but quickly bouncing off of it when it becomes apparent that they're even worse parents than he is.

This 14 word phrase will let others know you still use twitter

improvement in what way

Here's the top 10 numbers between 1 and 10, based on how small they are: #1: 1 #2: 2 #3: 4, hah just kidding you, it's 3

her: did you take my amulet of forced lying me, while my new amulet starts glowing green: no

If you were them, you'd be them.

Just an early reminder

Being an ancient bog wizard has got to be tough. They just don't respect you like they would an ancient bog witch.

They're upgrading my fire rate later this fortnight

Heard they're on the brink of inventing a story about stories soon

I agree with all of my mutuals. Even if they disagree with eachother. It's called loyalty.

Left Turn Larry: "Oh man, I love taking right turns! NOT!"

I see a drive thru that goes behind a building that has a Roxberry, Domino's, and a coding bootcamp. I'm placing the odds at 85%/14.96%/0.04% that it belongs to each business respectively

Guy who's worried about branding opportunities: I'm worried about branding opportunities

gonna do a samurai book where the protagonist convinces everyone else that honor is stupid like 3 chapters in and the rest of the book is about them being ninjas

Every piece of evidence that supports your theory cancels out two pieces of evidence that disprove your theory

me, staring down at a guy who is trapped inside a trench surrounding a house: what happened here? the guy:

This video game exec is telling everyone what to do, and it's awful because all of his suggestions are so insightful and inspired that it's making everyone else feel inadequate.

It's impossible to take advantage of someone and not dehumanize them eventually. Abusing the less fortunate has a cost that your soul will pay.

*uses golem like rhydon in gen 1 ou*

I love understanding media

this is my lovely daughter Cymbalta, and please meet my wonderful son War Thunder

the democratic party is going to assassinate Hasan Piker

Of course the ps6 is going to cost more than the ps5. It has like, 20% more of it.