They're making it illegal for boss runbacks in soulslike games to be shorter than 15 minutes

The Aimless Wanderer is being a real fucker lately

I'm being cancelled on Bluesky and also several bandits have me pinned down to this ravine with my meager supplies rapidly dwindling

I've decided I'm gonna play batman in whatever movie he's in next

Has anyone kinda noticed of carrots are sorta sweet and GOATED as a root vegetable? (And then I sort of pull off a nsync kinda move)

Letting the army commander guy know that a toothbrush is far from optimal for cleaning unless you're aiming for a level of total cleanliness that is frankly unrealistic

Has Zohran Mamdani failed to live up to his promises?

For me, 2025 will always be the year I was on a whisky distillery tour in the Inner Hebrides and put my hand in my pocket and found a balled-up straw wrapper and started playing with it and was like “wait, when did I last use a straw?” and then the straw wrapper stung me because it was a large bee

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If you start John Cage's 4'33" at any time between around 11:56 and 11:59 you're probably good

If you start some song at a certain time by the time it's another time a specific part of the song will be playing

I'm just here to have a good time, which is perhaps a questionable decision but nevertheless

Due to an unfortunate accounting error, it will remain 2025 until at least March. We will keep you updated as we learn more. Our apologies for any inconvenience. —The Management

early 19th century England be like: here's why a guy who downs enough opium to strain the East India Company's reserves and can barely remember the first names of all the women he's having an affair with thinks that only property owning men like himself should be in charge

2026 is gonna be the year of Luigi again.

you have always been a committee

This is no time to be messing around.

If I was a hollow knight bug in hollow knight and some little guy just slashed me with a sword made of light, the only thoughts I would have would be to the effect of "why did this little guy just slash me with a sword made of light"

Tony the tiger on Frosted Flakes: "They're Grrrrrrrrreat!" Tony the tiger on racism: "I think we should all respect each other and judge by character, not appearance"

New Perspectives (rerun)

"im new!" - sonic the hedgehogy (1/19/03)

"A seven nation army couldn't hold me back" -Jack White and also the Boxers

The median American voter is blameless and pure, an innocent lamb who comprehends nothing and is responsible for less.

Bob Crachit's income today, if not adjusted for inflation, would be 15 shillings a week.

allistics be all like "hi"

When I die, I want people to do the same thing (post a bunch of Mike F posts)

all the things that God would have us do are hard for us to do

the slay the spire discord whenever anyone asks any question:

I have a great idea. Let's pin down exactly how morally bad cheating is in a relationship. Okay you all go first

I think we should forgive Majorie Taylor Green. Also, this guy doing three card monte is really good, I can't seem to win a game against him besides the first one even though I'm following the cards super closely!

termites always enter a house at the same point: the weakest point

frodo lord of the rings is so brave. gandalf is reckless with him.

I always never liked that guy that we just found out now sucks.

It's probably the case that everyone I find funny has nearly identical political beliefs to mine

Twitter is still really racist in case anyone was curious

Woke is just too powerful nowadays. In fact, it's so powerful we shouldn't fight against it, and should instead become as woke as possible so that we don't get ostracized by society.

Lore is a myth by big video game in order to sell you more writing

oh yeah bridgette isnt she that one fighting game girl with the shield bash

Words. Just one of the many ways humans discuss ideas. But is it the most important one? Yes.

I have a Hallmarkian Gray in my attic. As I learn to love the holiday season, it becomes more and more professional.

Malthus must be a controversial figure in conservative circles. On the one hand, he argued that relief efforts for the poor were a waste of money. On the other, he supported raising the age of marriage.

Item Simulator 2026 is out

They should make the character limit 301.

I’m like one of those guys who was never appreciated in his own time or in any other time

if I'm cooking carnitas with some garlic in there is the garlic like, spent, or can I throw it into some salsa verde and have it improve the situation

a mystery for the ages

My favourite part of a banana is the piece of shit at the end