God damnnn I need to get beat to death in a cemetary while mumbling, "Like a dog," with my final breaths, jonesing so bad

(emailing HR) Can you ask my coworker if he wants to be my friend

I'm MtT (male to theyfab)

(Gen Z Faulkner) The past is lowkey not dead... it's lowkey not even past fr...

guys like my tweet gun to your head

the root of all evil is advertising and marketing. the trunk is sports and gambling websites. the branches are skincare companies and those guys that breed miniature dogs

my vacation to Yharnam went pretty smoothly all things considered, few hiccups- *I reach one of my tentacles over and grab another beer* you want another one, Mikael?

just found out the Satan-Lucifer ownership group is acquiring large amounts of land and swaying all political leadership in my local area, I'm SO excited for the new football stadium and Gate to Hell they're planning for a rapid 2036 turn around!! :D

you can't spell GUILLOTINE without "ILU" 😍🥰❤️💕

creating a podcast around a new kind of self-torture concept for you all to enjoy my misery in expanded formats and mediums

I invented a guillotine that is only big enough for ducks and gooses. So those bourgeoisie bastard birds can't flee to the south (Miami, FL) any longer

pasta check . yes

my girlfriend thinks I'm cute :,) 🙂‍↕️🙂‍↔️

fuck yoy

I fuckeng hate content & media

im just spraying blood isotropically atp #thriving

those that pleasure in the harm of others are NOT invited to the crib later

pulling out the Nacho Libre quotes at the house party and leaving with so many girls I gotta call a limo to come pick us upp

if you're color blind, balls are just gray or brown and therefore can never be blue. like how blind people also can't be schizophrenic but with balls

wow, turns out you just voted for Balls. Still wanna vote blue no matter who? well, if you say so- (maniacal laugh)

Evil, chaos, and destructive forces are straight up not tight

could god create a truck so lifted he cpuldnt climb into it ?

Code: Veronica? more like Code: This Sucksica. because it's bad. i can't stop playing it help

like this tweet to instantly get 100 level insight 🦑

bro you don't have enough insight bro, you can't understand the horrors beyond the veil of your reality yet bro

the one drug I wish I could do is the Blood from Yharnam

who up bloodletting to ease ther burdenous woes

"I Experienced White Racism and all i got is this stupid Blue Checkmark" shirts on sale now!!!

no, elon musk is just an evolved human man. his chest is supposed to look that boxy and huge on purpose. it's where he stores his huge heart and enormous empathy for white racism victims

everyday i think of the brutal murder of Twxtter.com by the hands of the coward Box Chest James

everytime i say tweet instead of post on Bluesky.com small elves crawl out of my phone's charging ports and scratch at me while cawwing like crows. a nice feature to help me remember twxtter overdosed on ketamine while listening to Grimes in the shower

i'm printing out and burning my bluesky ban emails as a protest

just found out about auto-enrollment into the draft. really fucked up the gov is forcing us to think before we tweet. NO MORE DRAFTS, BLUESKY!

this one is for all the like minded fellas out there *performs harakiri* *audience claps and cheers*

the key to male feminism getting popular is focusing on the fellas

I Was a Teenage Male Feminist and Other Stories

just found out about thumbalina we got new skinny goals #skinny

It is so beautiful when someone is a creep in another language 💖 or an accent if your options are limited 💖🙏

this bitch is eating a salad

if you give honey to a baby they become attracted to bee men so it's imperative you keep it away unil they're old enough to find human men hotter!!!!

i'm going to make myself french toast and coffee for breakfast

they did rib remodeling surgery on a grap and she looks cunt af now

What's the cure for all this shit

:(

officer, but that's a clove cigarette i say pointing at the 9mm pistol, gunsmoke pouring from the barrel

just realized i wrote write when i meant right which is the mistake no one else makes ever so this might be the end for me

(sighing as I open yet another sanpellegrino) i loved someone, once

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