Crab Man
@crabman.bsky.social
π€ 4010
π₯ 452
π 16326
Known for my iconic bits
pinned post!
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over 1 year ago
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Crab Man
horizontal moth
about 1 hour ago
Something for you all to aspire to
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I'm gonna have an appearance on a late show to promote Bruce Almighty (2003) next month! Wish me luck!
about 2 hours ago
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Sea urchins be like: my culture is not a costume Their culture:
about 2 hours ago
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The Mario movie is complete bullshit because there is absolutely no way that a guy in the modern day and age gets sucked into the world of Mario and doesn't recognize any of it. It's like the most famous game of all time.
about 3 hours ago
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I think the hardest part about being a parent would be when your kid starts dating because if they brought home a bf/gf that was a chopped hater I don't think I would know what to do in that situation.
about 6 hours ago
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Crab Man
mammon
about 7 hours ago
memorial day sales would have the metaphorical victorian child swagged out for less
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Crab Man
β¨frankyβs dadβ¨
about 10 hours ago
iβm also hello world tall
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Crab Man
sewn
about 10 hours ago
crab man i want to crush you into a little ball
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DOCTOR: Inside of you are two wolves... HYPERINTELLIGENT WOLF THAT IS PREGNANT: Are you allowed to do galaxy gas while you're pregnant? (Unfortunately the mother wolf is very addicted to galaxy gas)
about 11 hours ago
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(In couples therapy) Me: Oh, you must be referring to my uncompromising vision.
about 11 hours ago
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You lot did this post dirty, this is probably the smartest thought I've ever had.
add a skeleton here at some point
about 11 hours ago
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Crab Man
potion of
about 11 hours ago
siri, set reminder: mori
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Crab Man
holly "arby" andy
about 13 hours ago
New podcast episodes are waiting for you.
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Crab Man
balenciaga mcdonalds
about 13 hours ago
when shit is labeled its like damn... so thats what that is
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Crab Man
Ω
about 15 hours ago
what if instead of Crab Man he was Stab Man and he was always one step ahead of the best detective in the city
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Crab Man
Ω
about 15 hours ago
snakeroot be like βconcerned about various shitβ 3 reposts 49 likes
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Crab Man
one note parody account devolved into railing abou
2 days ago
I want various things on my desk by certain times
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If they made a Kidz Bop version of To Pimp A Butterfly it would probably heal the whole world immediately.
about 21 hours ago
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Guys I think I might be Brad Pitt.
1 day ago
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Now watching
1 day ago
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Crab Man
Brainfall: Mentalityβs Requiem
1 day ago
@crabman.bsky.social
Tounas jump scare on the reddit feed today
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Crab Man
Cranny the Enlightened
2 days ago
Don't try things at home
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Crab Man
journeyman folklorist
1 day ago
A βcheese pullβ is uncouth. Arguably sinful
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I've worn socks for probably >95% of my life. I can't believe there are people that like being barefoot.
2 days ago
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Crab Man
sewn
2 days ago
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I think I'll know I've made it if someone makes a crab man iceberg. If I see a "crab man iceberg explained" video on youtube I think I can finally quit all this.
2 days ago
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In an literally unprecedented move, I am returning to this movie because I received additionally information about it. Now watching time boys.
add a skeleton here at some point
2 days ago
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If you are following me on here and you are in the ku klux klan, listen up. You are on thin ice. That is not cool. I would like to see some personal growth on your part towards being less of a evil racist type or whatever they do.
2 days ago
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Crab Man
wargen
3 days ago
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If someone steals my posts I don't give a shit, but if someone steals a post from one of the accounts I like you are a bastard and I will treat you as such.
3 days ago
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Buying a space ship using Klarna. I can finally afford to get a space ship.
3 days ago
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Crab Man
j
3 days ago
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Crab Man
sewn
3 days ago
little lamp im interested in purchasing your account bro
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Licking my lips after every item I order to indicate to the cashier that I am making scrumptious selections.
3 days ago
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Crab Man
one hundred thousand million bees
3 days ago
superimposing my resume over a coloured photograph of me smiling
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Crab Man
horizontal moth
3 days ago
I know when that toad phone bling! That frog only call one thing...
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Crab Man
horizontal moth
3 days ago
They sent him to war to learn to superman a ho... sad sad stuff...
add a skeleton here at some point
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Okay they did a need more cowbell joke so now watching
add a skeleton here at some point
3 days ago
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okay now watching time boys instead
add a skeleton here at some point
3 days ago
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Come and See is basically Milo and Otis if it was made with people instead of pets.
3 days ago
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Now watching soldier boy
3 days ago
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I don't know how to explain it but radishes are an Earth vegetable and bananas are a sky vegetable.
3 days ago
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Crab Man
perfect angel
4 days ago
virality in movies: oh my god, we got 1000 views... wait, why is the president calling me? π³ virality irl: you see a joke you made a month ago reposted on reddit but your usernames been cropped out and a watermarks been added to it
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Crab Man
Tamper Proof Lid
4 days ago
βGenerator powerβ? Uh huh. I prefer to Empower Her Power, personally. But your thing seems nice
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Crab Man
Naomi Elizabeth
4 days ago
πΈππ ππΊππΎ οΌπ£οΌππΎπππΊππΎ πΏπππ ππ‘π ππ°π’π«π₯π’π§π ππ’π¬π: πΈπππ ππ π½ πΏπππΎππ½ ππππ πΎππΎπππΎπ½ πΏπππ ππΎοΌ π’π ππΌπ ππΎππΎ ππ ππΎπΎ πππ
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Hey Larry David. Knock it off with all that awkward crap. Just be courteous to people, it will get you a lot farther in life.
4 days ago
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Scientists are in the lab doing interesting things. -The Scientist's Creed
4 days ago
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Doctors without bones.
4 days ago
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Asking the AI assistant in the Chipotle app (ChipotlAi) if there's any way that I can maintain my current salary but instead of doing my job I play sound voltex all day.
4 days ago
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