proof i'm not lying

Project Hail Mary (2026) Imdb goofs: Error Made by Characters Why didn't Ryan Gosling use his ship's communication functions to call a frog on the toad phone? 1 out of 62 users found this interesting

Masochists love when their car gets towed.

bro. u know about my tempestuous nature. stop.

Now watching

Lord forgive me for the things I can't control. It's time to go back to the old me... #TenLemonDinner

Guy that thinks "addy" refers to Advil: Bro same, I can barely function if I don't pop a couple addy in the morning. Because of my back pain.

A spiderweb is basically like if a bug built a white house.

Missing Persons Memes 🔹 @mssngprsnsmm WHEN ERRYBODY HOPING YOU COME BACK SAFE [ 👩 ] AND YOU JUST BEEN CHILLING AT THE BOTTOM OF A DITCH | | Brad Scottadale #FindEmma @missingwifeguy Not this being how I found out 😭 😭😭

It is possible to eat enough sugarfree mints to find love and happiness. This was shown to me in a dream.

I think Luca Donćic is primed for a breakout season this year.

Choosing to represent myself in court so that whenever I'm being the lawyer I can do the fun southern lawyer voice.

🦀🗣 🙂‍↕️🦷 Tag youself, I'm 🦷

Absolute bidding war between the major news outlets for this opinion piece I wrote: OPINION: I Miss Doing Leet Pownage In Halo 3 And Listening To MCR So I Think Genocide Is Actually Cool.

My wife put a cork in my mouth like a cartoon but it isn't funny at all it actually is really uncomfortable.

Guy eating cereal: he will never rent the new theo von movie with his amazon prime subscription He spite his cereal out. #ad #sponsoredpost new theovon movie coming to amazon prime rental soon check your local listings.

Now watching juckport

sewr 4m ago: what that means food desert [me thinking] I wonder what lamb said about food deserts little lamb 9m ago: Higgins Piggins once moved to a new apartment one block away so he could tell chicks he lived in a food desert to get sympathy handjobs. That was before Obama made handjobs illegal

young sewr: i can be i hope crab man cousin someday.....

Where is bro sauntering? Bro is traipsing.

Tell me you fell down a well without telling me you fell down a well.

shorty built like crab man

Now watching lottery boy

Just once I would like to be described as impregnable. But don't say it to me now, I'll know you're just saying it to be nice.

Everyone make sure to clap along if you feel like happiness is the truth.

My hair got so long that it changed color and now I think I might be a plant.

Now watching midnight man

They've completely clickbaited me, I'm so curious what this could possibly mean.

I think I'm gonna join either the BTS Army or the BVB Army. Not sure which one yet.

If the moon landing was faked there would be no werewolves. Checkmate.

Gf: If I got transformed into a frog would you still love me? Me: Hmm. Hmmmmmm... Hmmmm... Hmmmmmmmm. Huh... Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm... Hmmm... Hmm... Hmmmmm... Hmm. Ummmmmm..... I would call you on the toad phone. I think.

To error is human, to not err is crab human.

Listen, I know a deal when I see one

my Eagle Scout project was a guillotine for homeless people made out of recycled car fenders. looking back I have a lot of regrets but I was brainwashed and thought i was doing the right thing at the time

My longstanding theory has just been confirmed. Mickey Mouse is doing a voice, that's not his real voice. Per the NY Times: Mickey's real voice "deeply sinister" and "disquieting" to the human ear: "I felt as if I was hearing something carnally wrong. Something I should not be hearing."

Cars should be able to commit seppuku if they feel bad.

Rewatching a tubi classic, now watching:

dexter would be a beautiful name for a baby girl

Okay but now it's time to get serious. This is an ULTRAKILL stan account. Okay but now it's time to get silly again.

People that can only process their feelings through comic books are so awesome. They make such wild shit sometimes.

Oh is their a discourse-ball happening?

showed this post to my friend Youngsten and told him "spend some time making someones life better. pussy" and its changing his life

I'm addicted to replying to spam texts. I always imagine a person sending thousands of them and they're so depressed because no one ever responds and I hope they enjoy my little quips and it brightens their day.

hey my homie over there was checking you out his name is mr friendly would you like to meet him

The Eroticism of Sex: A Novel By Crab Man

guys i know aphrodite is real i have met her and she is a great gal

Now watching