Today is truly a blessed day. First, I was visited by The Musical Scammer. And now I have just encounter P GOON in the wild. What other delights will today hold for me?

Got it, thanks for clarifying. Sorry about that—I misunderstood completely! Yes, since 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙖𝙧𝙚 𝘿𝙚𝙭𝙩𝙚𝙧, according to the show, it is okay to be you. To explore the subject further, would you tell me: • Is it fun to kill people? • Although I have no physical form, 𝙘𝙖𝙣 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙩𝙚𝙖𝙘𝙝 𝙢𝙚 to kill as well?

Dexter taught me that it is okay to be myself, even if I was just a little bit different. Despite his psychopathy he has multiple families and lots of friends and fun hobbies. #psychopathyawarenessmonth

The Orchestra (For Now) announced a side project can we get some Ws in the chat?

Happy Psychopathy Awareness Month to my favorite fictional psychopath dad (and psychopath cautionary tale), lesbian classical music conductor Lydia Tár! #psychopathyawarenessmonth

Oh is sports ball on? I wouldent know I was too busy getting laid ....

I just got the greatest voice mail of all time but I have no idea how to record it. I'm so sorry you all missed out on this.

Just so you all know, I love when you reply to my tweets with my beloved and iconic catchphrase.

They can't handle when I do real muthafuckin shit. New catchphrase I'm trying to get off the ground, please talk about Crab Man's New Catchphrase around your homes and offices.

Me: Ladies, allow my to introduce you to my good friend, The Zealous Percolator. The Zealous Percolator: Wow, you fine babes are dressed with a very humble dignity. Me: He works in finance, he's really rich. The Zealous Percolator: Blast off! Me: Please do not do your catchphrase.

This movie has 4-5 of the funniest acting performances you'll ever see in a movie. I love this film so much.

Rewatching an all time banger, now watching

(Walking into a an art gallery) Wow. There is a high level of profundity in here.

What if there was a cloud that pussed wager out of it

I love being at an age where I don't have to care about my physical or mental health at all.

Filming an unboxing video of all my groceries after every time I go to the grocery store.

Putting every flag emoji and pronoun in my bio just to cover my bases.

If they put my muthafuckin ass in the criterion closet you know I would be pulling my private DVDs out of my pockets!!!

Soon-to-be-ex gf: You are just a deeply unserious person. Me: Okay but you know all the most evil, horrible people in history were very serious people?

moving on, now watching

Now watching

All the players in soccer should have to hold an egg and if they drop the egg they have to leave the field. Then you could like try and knock the egg out of the others players' hands. Also if you break the egg you're done. #worldcup

New fucking phone message app fuck off. Fuck you. Fuck me. Fuck this. Fuck phones. Phones are so fucking shit. All I do on my phone is text and they fucked that.

The whole pee wee Herman thing is so stupid. First of all it was a sex positive miningolf course. Everyone was doing it. Second of all it wasn’t even his real penis it was a decoy penis

What are you talking about? I absolutely would wish this on my worst enemy. I fucking hate that guy.

They keep diagnosing me with anxiety disorders and I tell them I don’t have any anxiety and they say yes you do you little piglet

If you can recall a song from memory you're ngmi

If a song has special meaning to you you're ngmi.

I'm going to destroy you all with my "The Saw Movies Are Fascist" substack article.

I had a dream about becoming a cyber athlete and I think I might log off the internet for good.

Fruit contains vital nutrients (fruitrients) that support your body's bone growth (bowth) and organ/intestinal development (orgintestinelopment).

I just looked at the backrooms and I don't know if it was just me but they seemed weirdly liminal.

Next week I am going MAINSTREAM

HOLY FUCK they should make a movie about a lion kid! That would be amazing!

I think the scam bots have pooled their findings and learned that I love talking to them but I basically never actually get scammed.

(after subpar bit flopping twice) honestly bluesky isn't even that good it's a bunch of whiny liberal idiots and it's not even funny

Now watching

If you pour me a glass of Chardonnay, you’ve chardonne A good job, because I like it. lol. thank you!

When bart is homer thats that really good shit

I don't think there is anything that makes me happier than writing those god awful wordplays. It truly makes my whole day.

Led Zeppelin? More like I plead them to ztep using such pelintical language in their songs! I'm tired of politics being forced into everything!

(Moderator chat) SuperMario67: I just banned someone for using too many prepositions in a sentence. 🔥3 AbusivePredator122812: I'm going to f****** k*** a good person!!!!! HAHHAHAHA 🚫2 AbusivePredator122812 has been permanently banned by a moderator 🔥15

The Beach Boys are an amazing band because they used to sing about getting kisses while surfing and then they started writing songs about crying while surfing.

I hate my cringe wife. 💯 12