Crab Man
@crabman.bsky.social
📤 3523
📥 428
📝 13351
Known for my iconic bits
pinned post!
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10 months ago
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People love to do that bit where they pretend crab man flopped in the group chat.
about 8 hours ago
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Rewatching a Tubi banger
about 12 hours ago
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reposted by
Crab Man
Ů‹
about 13 hours ago
ill spread my wings and ill learn how to fly
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"These fishes are straight-up vicious!" This would be a cool thing to say if you were being attacked by fish.
about 15 hours ago
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reposted by
Crab Man
glue
about 19 hours ago
I'm thinking about doing some posts in honor of Halloween
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Business idea: cat laundromat. A laundromat that has a bunch of cats running around you can play with while you wait for your laundry to finish.
about 22 hours ago
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reposted by
Crab Man
moonvine
1 day ago
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reposted by
Crab Man
moonvine
about 24 hours ago
It's bad ass to be wise
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Now thar enough time has passed, even us big city liberals can admit that covid was a total hoax we perpetuated to persecute honest Americans.
1 day ago
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Calling it now, 2026 is the year of the can opener.
1 day ago
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Now watching
1 day ago
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reposted by
Crab Man
1 day ago
@crabman.bsky.social
was on snakeroot island
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I feel like the energy that I'm getting from this drink is completely monstrous.
1 day ago
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reposted by
Crab Man
little lamb
2 days ago
Your favorite ant lions favorite ant lion
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Crab Man
BayBayFriend
about 1 month ago
shrimpjeff: They should invent a computer you can rest on your lap violetaura: ?? yeah they had the same thought 30 years ago are you serious ?? wokeyoda: the joke understanders have logged on 🙄 earthsmud: you think it’s funny to play the fool. you’ll do it so much, one day you won’t be playing
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I have split personality disorder. Yeah, when I see a banana split, I eat it! And personal(it)ly, I always make dis order at the ice cream store.
2 days ago
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This is my dentist office her name is Dr. Donut.
add a skeleton here at some point
2 days ago
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reposted by
Crab Man
rare body oils
3 days ago
me: (reaching into 800g jar of cashews on top shelf) .... little cashew treat .... beautiful snack devil on my shoulder: Do it. They should be part of you angel on my shoulder: Im so proud of you. You deserve cashews. Sweet child. Im so happy youre taking them me: everyone agrees thats for baby boy
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That's that me chudler
3 days ago
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reposted by
Crab Man
moonvine
3 days ago
To Pimp a Chudlerfly
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Crab Man
BayBayFriend
3 days ago
they’re getting rid of all the regular dirt tomorrow and replacing it with loam
#loamworld
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Now watching
3 days ago
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Yeah, my primary care physician is named Dr. Ice Cream. And yes, his office has a big sign on the front that says Dr. Ice Cream's Castle. He also has a 92% recommendation rate on google if that means anything to you.
3 days ago
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reposted by
Crab Man
moonvine
3 days ago
Yep!
add a skeleton here at some point
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Searching to see if I've ever posted about "things" before
3 days ago
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reposted by
Crab Man
mammon
3 days ago
don't be afriad of catching a little mank on a plane
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reposted by
Crab Man
Jess
3 days ago
when it comes to movies on a plane you gotta say mank
#mankplane
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Watching Mank on a plane
#MankPlane
3 days ago
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reposted by
Crab Man
moonvine
3 days ago
Holy shit this guy is real
add a skeleton here at some point
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My bed sheets all wet For Chudler, I pray to forget All I've been forms the drone, we sing the rest Oh your generous loan to me, your crippling bunchiness
3 days ago
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Chudlers are infinite And thinking me are numbered
3 days ago
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RELATIONSHIP ADVICE: Check to see if your cochabitate with em. If you are Be Warned.
3 days ago
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RELATIONSHIP ADVICE : Many relationsip involve sexual or sexual implements. Be on the lookout for them.
3 days ago
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RELATIONSHIP ADVICE: Are you "feeling the pressure"? Receive the pressure with a relaxing soak!
3 days ago
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RELATIONSHIP ADVICE : MAKE sure that the person you are in the relationship with has the same things of you. Ideally mostly the same.
3 days ago
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RELATIONSHIP ADVICE: The narcissist is in among the most EVIL types of person to date/relationship with. Check your partners' medical records to see if they are a narcissist.
3 days ago
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RELATIONSHIP ADVICE : Most relationships end because of differences or disagreements between the people that are in it, the relationship. Try to avoid these at all costs.
3 days ago
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RELATIONSHIP ADVICE : If you see one of those classic things that is a red flag,. You should treat that as a relationship "red flag" and STAY AWAY!
3 days ago
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RELATIONSHIP ADVICE: Be on the lookout for "lovebombing" which is a new kind of bombing.
3 days ago
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RELATIONSHIP ADVICE : Do not become cochabitate with em..
3 days ago
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Honestly that waiter was serving. Yeah, serving FOOD! I wanted to fuck them.
3 days ago
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If you are a fan of bad accents and Tough Guys Don't Dance and Face/Off this is a must watch
add a skeleton here at some point
3 days ago
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reposted by
Crab Man
little lamb
4 days ago
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reposted by
Crab Man
moonvine
4 days ago
Thank you Crab Man
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reposted by
Crab Man
moonvine
4 days ago
Shockheads love being aghast at shit
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Now watching
4 days ago
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reposted by
Crab Man
patrick
5 days ago
They should call it the aurora interestingalis. Sign up for my email newsletter to learn why
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reposted by
Crab Man
josh (oldfriend99)
4 days ago
(trying to fit in with a group of criminals, badly) I'm wearing a fuckin wire
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reposted by
Crab Man
Cranny Boy
4 days ago
That iconic moment when
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Bunchy son or chudler daughter
4 days ago
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