eating an 8.5" x 11" sheet of beef jerky

come get your girl she's wildin out at toyotathon

6 girls 1 cup has been retired :(

The Email of the Year Awards

my hair is so bright and soft and perfect

labubu

looking in the mirror with a frozen fake smile on my face without blinking for several minutes

changing into my jammies

santa is REAL

i have a headache as i do most nights

i have control issues

i'm so jody

i am the least annoying person who tweets as much as i do. that's hardly saying anything. like that's an incredibly low bar. but it's more than nothing

48 thousand tweets. wow. i couldn't have done this without myself

it's snowing a wee bit

referring to the european zyns as the "woke zyns." like walking into a shop and asking if they have any of the woke zyns

the european zyn flavors i got today are lemon head and strawberry nana

this year i do appreciate that the sun sets so early

I don’t give a fuck about the flavor of the week news and discourse bullshit, I give a fuck about the important questions I give a fuck about can I win the pharaohs gold I give a fuck about has the pharaoh laid a trap

fully incapable of placing my keys in a place where i'll be able to find them

merry christmas

i think volleyball would be 10% less boring to watch on tv if they gave me the option to watch from the endline instead of that stupid sideline camera angle

my sisters and I are laughing about the stuff you say and do btw. We also think your vibe is off and the circumstances of your birth/the way your life has unfolded are wack

hiring an uber driver to tail my other uber driver

just took my multivitamins

NYT Opinion: The Low People Deserve Worse

if i had a wife id snuggle up next to her

wetting the bed for attention

survivor challenge where the contestants burn effigies of each other. survivor season where they divide the contestants up by race. these could be joke tweets but no they actually happened

Perfect track open.spotify.com/track/53uhTs...

too high to have a normal conversation just replying like “you are so smart” when someone says hello to me

i should get married

guys we should play bluesky survivor

Im going to win the beautiful christmas sweater content this year <3

i want a cigarette

tapping in fours on the right side of the top of my head

I Need to Eat Two Probiotic Gummies Right Now or Awful Things Are Going to Happen

having multiple thought loops at the same time

just got really pissy out of nowhere

watching volleyball is like watching paint dry, no matter the level of competition

wearing this to my wedding

Grassy Fear 🇫🇷 grassyvalley.thecomi...

soccer mommy makes such good music