I burst into the meeting room late, dropping my notebook and water bottle as I make for a seat. The attendees are silent. "It's this damn horse year!" I shriek, scrabbling on all fours to claw at the bottle as it rolls under a table. There are tears in my eyes

someone something me now!

Nodding politely in a meeting as the word "encumbered" appears over my head

I don't need the bluesky map. I know my people. It's the people whose bio is a quaint, decontextualised word salad

When I see someone has followed me I have the exact same reaction as when someone parks outside my house

Become normal now 🫵

Once they bring out drafts it's over for you all

Am I sad because I'm listening to Grouper, or am I listening to Grouper because I'm sad?

your love was promised to me 3000 years ago

I'm Australian, and I don't know what you're talking about.

Can we please stop making TV shows based on books games movies or other TV shows. Please. Please

Found in my notes app

you're telling me a corn this bread?

You can pry the word Consider from my cold dead hands

Getting rave reviews for my Unburdening Service™

Tell me something secret. DMs open

Doc: A healthy range for iron levels is around 50-150 ug/L. Yours are currently at 3. Three. Me: So... I won Doc: Ok, so we spoke about this last time,

Watching a cancelling in real time

In an unprecedented turn of events my doctor prescribed me Coca-Cola today

Note #23 from Epstein

Kodkod

Thinking back to the time I struck up a conversation with an elderly gentleman in the ER who showed me photos of all the fish he caught that year and I could name every fish and he asked me where I like to go fishing and I had to tell him my entire working knowledge of fish is from video games

I'm letting it deter me

Just tryna ball with my bros

I want something good

Lawn guys - unfollow me now

I am in a WRETCHED, FILTHY, SPITEFUL mood. AMA

Doing my affirmations in Black Speech

The what's up bar is making me feel unreasonably combative

Jack of all trades, master also of all trades

i bet it feels so good to be drawn from a scabbard

Ceiling frescoes near me

The only way to my heart is a well positioned Schrodinger's cat gag

2026 year of the cog

Why does my heart feel so demon

My heart needs to be exorcised

Excuse me? Sorry. Mommy? Sorry. Mommy? Sorry.

Swimming dinosaurs had fingers inside their flippers and they kept growing more and more finger bones until the flippers looked like a cob of corn

Waiting for the day when I see the number 69 and my brain can just be normal about it

Happy birthday I am gaming

Thanks for the wrapped/recap/review/lookback but I don't want to be reminded of a single thing that happened this year

Trying matcha for the 26th time

I've lost my swarm of rats

Mosquito in room or angle grinder really far away?

Carved wood near me

I see a post that makes me chuckle. Moving to hit like, I notice it already has several thousand. My smile fades. I coldly scroll away.