i have a professionally measured 120 something iq & i couldn’t make it to the end of a shift at an entry level customer service job without being fired if i tried because i’m languid & just say stuff

i like to do this thing where i type a reply to someone & never send it because that invites conversation & i’m too lazy for all that

A FEAST

wow

give a man a fish, he could decide it's god. there's just no telling what cockamamie shit dudes will be up to

just saw an angry tweaking schizophrenic guy walking around with a pair of pliers

i don’t think jordan peele should be making a game with kojima because he’s never made anything good in his entire life

other people: poo poo pee pee me: poo poo pee pee (with a clear understanding of the science, expertly inserted into the conversation at just the right moment, gracefully worded with class and humour)

lulling the homie into a false sense of security

in SD we got the Epstein family amphitheater

epstein bar virus is the funniest disease name ever

Sometimes I wish I had parents but honestly the concept is so foreign to me that I’m not even sure what I’m missing. It seems like a lot of extra trouble

i'm so tired of saying i'm "chilling and relaxing", it's so long winded, oh well nothing to be done probably

just had some cheese flavored snacks, cheese is a classic snack flavor. this is my new character guy explaining snacks to an alien

have a good saturday

9w8

Shroud of Turing

that’s why i always have gay sex with the spicy chicken sandwich before i eat it

i don’t even smoke that much weed any more my autistic wife smokes it all

babe can we please stop roleplaying your trauma? i'm tired of dressing up as the giant ostrich that maimed your entire family

I find the hook very satisfying open.spotify.com/track/0HKPTr...

see something + nothing i can do about it = freedom not to care

alexa sing me a lullaby

this is my roommate wario

im going to become a prolific smut artist just so i can put a little bubble in the corner of all my drawings where chibi incarnations of the characters depicted tell my audience "I DON'T WANT THIS" also i am on my stimulants and off my getting any sleep

blocking the sentiment bot at 3 am because it says i’m negative & edgy

i love sleeping but i also think it’s normal to just not be sleepy most nights

sorry i didn’t catch that i was thinking about a gungrave lamb of god omerta amv from 2011

my fav gas station employee is being cancelled by the state (sent back to jail)

coquette furuncle

Now follow me, roll stroll Whether it's Hell or it's Heaven open.spotify.com/track/5KSJ9k...

if elvis was still alive, he'd probably be dead by now

not many people know this but i was in the show home movies

if you don't check your mail for a few months then the mailbox gets too full to put new things in and you legally can't be summoned for jury duty

one billion year tipper gore reich video game fever

This is such a pretty name for a baby girl

dude did you seriously just pingas when it’s dinner

i’m the only non binary person who doesn’t have any empathy

saying my culture is not your costume to a zoomer in a kmfdm t shirt

But i’m just a teenage dirtbag, Charlie Brown

*shirtless bro approaches you on street* select what to do: > offer him change > kill

Dharma Initiative RE:Locke in

They call it a closet because you put your clos in et

lost is an anime

fentanyl labubu

everything is made up bro i don’t give a fucking hell or shit damn

old woman? I chuckle to myself, the teens at the skatepark don't know that they have just started beef with the next hottest battle rapper from the east coast, maybe even the world. I pull out my phone, pull up lil wayne six foot seven foot instrumental on youtube, this will go better than last time