i have a lot of brand loyalty to polar sparkling water, but waterloo is gaining ground quickly

watching hbo's vinyl for the first time since the original run (where I only caught 2 episodes) and i gotta say, it's really not a good show. even the 2-hour premiere directed by scorcese himself is pretty mid. unless he was gonna re-write the show i don't think there's much he could have done.

i believe i will make some tuna cakes for dinner. put those on some rye bread with a little ingelhoffer sweet hot mustard. that;s a meal

deleted verse from 'highwayman' where merle haggard talks about his career as a porter at the grocery store, cleaning up messes and fetching carts before retiring at 62. union.

if you get jacked enough you can work out in leather sandals at the gym

'listen to the music' is the only song that comes with instructions

guy who gets hungry while watching 'thinner' lol

conservative guys don't even have tools to put in their tool chests anymore, it just goes in the sad home office. horrid state of affairs.

it just wants food man

read mein kompf to it

you went to a restaurant and ate alone? you read a book? you had a great time? you're learning to love yourself? you want to know whose blood is on my face? you've seen me outside your house at night by the trash cans? you think you can just leave?

waiting 86 years to place the worst taco bell order of all time

rowdy chocolate lab bodyslammed by fed-ex driver

the jerk is a 1979 american comedy film about you 🫵🏼

super hot women who are dying in your area

the song of the summer is the promise by when in rome. wow who saw this coming

i was not aware of this conflict. nevertheless, glad to see cooler heads prevailing

doctor wants to do the prostate exam in missionary position? whatever gets me out of there faster tbh

women will take something called a "focus gummy" and immediately break up with you

first wedding dance to "two little hitlers" by elvis costello

pretty reasonable thing to say

someone tossed an old motobecane road frame out and i managed to get the seat tube out, and most of the nasty components off. now fighting the quill stem. not sure what year this is

cashiers will often drop subtle hints that you should stop taking your medication

take my arms that i might reach you, lil bro

calling a guy "sleepy joe" for 4 years and then dying before him is going to be a funny outcome

villain: you're a quick study, mr. bond, but you failed to consider it was my plan all along for you to find me black james bond: (talking on bluetooth) HOLD ON

(hand falling apart like raw ground chuck) i think president xi likes me very much ;-)

i was a GI Joe in helmand province in 2010

i had been watching pornography for many years before i realized you could jack off to it

being a trench coat dick flasher in 2026 would probably get you called "a theater kid"

you love coffee? that's awesome, but as a creative, i likely have a stronger and more intimate connection with it

you can make an effort to enjoy this site and it goes okay for a day or two, then you see the worst shit ever retweeted into your feed and it feels like an ice pick went through your forehead

washington was losing teeth in his early 20's i hope they depict that accurately

they tarred and feathered me, and i've never looked better

Hey folks, I just picked a fresh batch of stickers and t-shirts. Sizes S to XXL. A portion of each sale will be donated to the SLC Community Bail Fund to help folks affected by ICE raids. $25 for a shirt. $35 for a shirt and 3 stickers. Tell your friends and family.

i've become a dense, cakey donut lover as of late. you never know what's around the corner for you

there should be 10 southern lit novels published for every 1 set in nyc

Woman with vagina in world's top 1% is spending $2 million a year in extreme human experiment

billions dialogue is like connerty: you're mark knopfler in the appliance store, scribbling down lyrics he overheard from the guys moving fridges chuck rhoades: yes, but unlike the british springsteen, what i've eavesdropped doesn't concern hawaiian noises, but rather the tides of the free market

undoing your belt because you ate too much. pulling your underwear down because you're stuffed. wiggling your stupid little prick at the waitstaff because you've overindulged yet again.

oh you're "making a go of it?" yeah, on the toilet... probably..

it's so funny you can email short stories to the new yorker and some guy there has to read it. or maybe even a girl does...

not what i wanted to hear...

it breaks my heart that depression has been going so beastmode on you dude

i've played every sniper elite game across at least 3 consoles and i don't think i have never watched a single cut scene. in fact i know i haven't

sure i can take break

funny thing as The Boys wraps up is it seems like one of the writers remembered the main kid was obsessed with billy joel, and they said, "well we better put him in a graphic t-shirt or something"

i love my porn bot followers. they don't fav much, but zero drama

john mulaney: i always thought aids crack and bernie goetz were gonna be much bigger problems than they turned out to be

i would love to follow you back letterboxd.com/okbutstill/