they should make a video game where i can help an NPC character push things out of our way

vanilla wafers

hm this movie i want to watch has a 2.3 on imdb. ah never mind it's got a 4.6/5 on amazon prime, lets do this!

you could lose a couple pounds if you buy the right lettuce immediately

they're turning mitch mcconnell into a universal soldier

2 bags of baby carrots won't give you diarrhea confirmed

everybody needs to lighten up a bit on here

nw:

the smoke is natural, i.e. it cannot be bad for you

prosecuting this guy and no one else

americans can't stop eating vegetables, even at the risk of explosive diarrhea. are we too healthy?

i don't care so much about the protein content, but this is kind of insane. you can eat half of a 9 inch loaf pan of this for 400 calories, and the taste is like a 7/10. add vanilla and use canned pumpkin obviously youtu.be/MjLAaG4PTis?...

be sure to verify what the other guy at work is sick with before you chat him "diarrhea brothers 🤝"

all active duty us military members to remove their hats and undergo a "hairline check"

the idea that you could "stumble into" making orange chicken is fascinating

a dedicated arm day sure seems like a sin of pride, homeboy

work is just your boss sending you questions he generated with AI and you sending him answers you generated with AI. great way to spend 45 years of your life 👍

the battle of iwo jima but all your marines are going through TRT withdrawal

same thing happened to me not that long ago

i won't be participating in the viral diarrhea trend this summer

yo quiero taco bell

this is somehow more cringe than peak QAnon. i can't imagine the dumb shit that bald male nurse is putting out about this.

i have joined the police, of which i am an officer now. if you know any criminals please let me know asap.

if you've ever taped your mouth shut at night you should not be allowed to vote

slow horses is one of those rare shows you can put on the tv and then enjoy watching the tv

beasted on by mitch mcconnell once more. that's how it goes

putting off medical care because you have more work to do for israel, a beautiful end to a beautiful life

i'll take diarrhea over vomiting any day. lose a bit of water weight, maybe see your abs better temporarily. no gagging. win-win

[Detective looking in the bodybag, wincing and then looking away] they beasted on him

i can't imagine how terrible it must be to be spend time around someone who thinks they can read peoples body language

nice friendly, encouraging honk while i'm running. still gonna have to show up at your house at 3am for bothering me though

just deliver them on the way back???

batman: i don't bother child molesters because they don't bother me. that's the golden rule in action alfred: quite so

i simply can't understand why president donald trump isn't concerned about foodborne parasites affecting fresh fruits and vegetables

great, we invented the phillips head screw. let's keep using slotted screws everywhere to piss people off

7 episodes into cape fear and the two highly intelligent protagonists have decided they should try to do something about this max cady guy. nice 👍

it's your duty as a patriotic american to wear a fitness tracker so that israel can blow your hand off at the time of their choosing

every fruit fly in your house is a policy failure

i love my wife elaine chao!!

no need to turn off the breaker when doing electrical work, just wear rubber gloves

In case anyone is wondering how I "clocked" Platner, it was the fact that he is a literal mercenary with a Nazi tattoo. Maybe keep that in your back pocket

widow's bay is entertaining, but there's something off about it that i can't really put my finger on. maybe it's just the pacing, like i'm on episode 6 and it feels like i've watched multiple "s1e2's" in that time

1 UPS driver is worth like 7 fedex oafs

our guy had dementia the Right Way

awful thing to say about a guy who is in the hospital

i have been resisting the urge to bully anyone who liked graham platner up until this week, but come on. this was the most obviously full of shit guy in a long while. maybe you didn't think he was evil, but you sure argued with a lot of us who picked up on it immediately. learning opportunity!

mitch mcconnell just jogged past me on the indoor track at the gym

your comment has been flagged as "too gen-x." please report to the nearest processing plant where you'll be turned into feed and feed byproducts

(tom cruise doing the thing where he smiles even though he's really mad) eat your shorts? is that your message to me, bart?

i don't see any reason why girls can't play in the world cup