mistakes into even more devastating mistakes

when you search a post and you did it it's like let's get you to bed grandpa

She's a real space cadet. Incredibly intelligent, hell of a pilot. No surprise she made it into Astronaut School.

I thought we were allowed to do whatever now, your honor

smoking that shit that.. um, that... ah..

passing a captcha by through my actions or inaction causing harm to a human

us empire ending explained

loved the message dude. the little face at the end... fantastic. an "emoji", i assume. does he represent you or me?

me: what if instead i walk out that door and leave all this bullshit behind computer: i just need a new password man

Battle it out with over 60 selectable fighters from across the Dostoevskyverse

still laughing about a post i saw where someone said “they think we’re stupid.“ and they were talking about jim carrey being a clone

of nice and meh

gen z celebrant: do you take each other in choppedness and in aura, until unc do you part

if you close and immediately reopen the same app your phone should discharge a powerful electric shock

no offense, but your consciousness is being transferred into one of my beautiful fishe

can a smol bean nut raw for the one time

There are ads so pathetic they kill parts of your soul

selling live chickens out of my studio apartment

we're through the looksmaxxing glass

nudes sent via homing pigeon

strangling a victorian child with my bare hands and telling the police he got into my doritos

angry frenchman: no more monsieur homme-gentil

yeah I'll grant you an audience homie

listen up team

McDonald's gives me the energy I need to grow and learn

peace is the goatest of all time

pentagons chatgpt girlfriend releasing more epstein files as revenge for taking anthropic ex girlfriend to iran instead of her

war is not poggers

going back in time to hit the snooze button a couple more times

(the ghost of christmas was months ago): yo old ass, you see some other ghosts come through here?

First as tragedy, then as farce, then as farce, then as farce, then as farce, then as farce, then as farce, then as farce, then as farce, then as farce, then as farce, then as farce, then as farce, then as farce, then as farce, then as farce, then as farce, then as farce, then as farce, then as farc

guys let's all take it easy

you kicked my gun away? what the hell man that's what I was crawling towards.

Thank god france isnt real

visiting the tomb of the unknown playboy

just put the lime in the coconut and no one has to get hurt

going capybara on this bathtub

i up my thumb at thee

smuggling my phone into the sensory deprivation tank

going long on kindness

You follow 47.9K people and replied to me? 🥹

fumbleina badbitch

telling the customer i’ve become disillusioned to groceries..

The Serious Millenial: My dog is a normal sized boy.

dude why are you bleeding from your orifices at The Big Game

i am offering a prize of one million dollars to the first person to bring me two million dollars

le danse corncobre

0 injured in lame-ass explosion

can you give this gum a chew for me real quick, room temperature gum gives me the ick