bog landlord
@pondslurp.bsky.social
📤 273
📥 141
📝 668
a force to be recond with
pinned post!
every squad has the oblivious homie. except mine i guess
6 months ago
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were making it out of the quiet posters feed
3 days ago
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love tlc no scrubs but im pretty sure theyre talking about me
9 days ago
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"his wit is borrowed from sharper minds, and duller for it" —quip i heard that i plan to slightly misquote later
10 days ago
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mots bon as hell
10 days ago
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forgot to turn my swag off and ran up a $600 utility bill
11 days ago
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two truths and a lie: i wrote the most downvoted genius annotation in history, i wrote the second most downvoted genius annotation in history, i will kowtow to the tyrannical userbase of genius dot com
11 days ago
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draft check
12 days ago
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Don't Call it a Waste of Time: What meaningless bullshit teaches us about the nature of some other bullshit
12 days ago
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scoundrels get a bad rap
12 days ago
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just caught a whiff of BO so powerful it unlocked memories from a past life. i remember you man. 12th century bazaar, you were fucking me over on a pound of grain
13 days ago
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first rule of improv comedy is always carry a gun. they travel in packs
16 days ago
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i would rather crawl across ten miles of broken glass than be accused of hyperbole
16 days ago
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im prone to wild exaggeration. well, moderate exaggeration. okay ive exaggerated once or twice
16 days ago
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whole squad frabjous
16 days ago
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if two posts in a row dont get any likes thats a sign that god has selected you as the next Job
17 days ago
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orange is a luxury color. red or yellow is plenty
17 days ago
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thoughts are like weather. if they start to go bad youre fucked
18 days ago
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ive decided to become all powerful
18 days ago
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reply to this with a post if you want me to sing it over guitar. or dont if you want me to continue with my day normal-style
19 days ago
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reposted by
bog landlord
little lamb
19 days ago
You can just destroy things
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you dont get steely dan like i do big dog. why dont you sit this one out and leave it to the real dan heads
19 days ago
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still working on the move fast part but im basically a god at breaking things
20 days ago
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buying items one at a time at cvs because i like the receipts
20 days ago
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7
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ordering a sex on the beach at the salty spitoon
20 days ago
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friend got mad i used an elaine gif in the group chat he said "elaine is NOTHING like you"
21 days ago
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i dont tie my shoes i just start running and hope for the best
21 days ago
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just walked a mile in my own shoes and now im even more judgmental and clothes minded
21 days ago
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holdier horses
21 days ago
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reposted by
bog landlord
(°○°)
23 days ago
[Master] should you seek revenge, dig two graves [Me, his wise pupil, thinking] I hate karate so bad dude, what the fuck.
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whole squad is deeply troubled by my actions
24 days ago
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my ancestors didnt chase wild game to exhaustion for me to have to buy things at the store. not sure why they were doing all that actually
24 days ago
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subsisting on love and light isnt working out so im thinking about throwing stimulants into the mix
25 days ago
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ordering a flight of cigarettes at the gas station
27 days ago
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the results are in. everyone loves my culture of fear
27 days ago
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THE PASSIVE-AGRESSIVE BAKER: i never see you at the boulangerie... THE PHILOSOPHICAL GOURMAND: and yet, that does not prove i am never there
28 days ago
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id be way more into fine art if it was bad for you somehow
28 days ago
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cant tell if im lightheaded from this all this blood im losing or from the divine message i happen to be receiving at the same time
28 days ago
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ME: (BLEEDING OUT FROM BEAR ATTACK) GUY WHO CALLS OUR BIVOUAC "THE BIV": hey man there's like a big dog or something over at the biv
28 days ago
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i call them "sane asylums." on a count of how normal my insanity make's them look. i also call them "the clown posse" but thats unrelated
29 days ago
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ELLEN: so youre from the computer, right? ME: thats right. i heard about your through Online
30 days ago
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i like to think that in 2015 i could have gotten on ellen for any one of my posts
30 days ago
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alchemist roommate is constantly telling me to stop messing with his ampoules. i dont even know what that is
about 1 month ago
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this is now a life's style account, if any large Brands would like to sponsor me
about 1 month ago
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gone off mysterious teas
about 1 month ago
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just as i expected. my off-putting comments are winning me universal popularity and admiration
about 1 month ago
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cleaning out my camera roll and found a goated mom text. (from the solar eclipse in 2024)
about 1 month ago
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reposted by
bog landlord
Crab Man
about 1 month ago
When I get a scorpion in my apartment it makes me happy because it reminds me of The Scorpion King.
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superhero thats really small and when he hulks out he turns normal size
about 1 month ago
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ME: this is my son, tv dinner SON, BEAMING: you can call me "tv"
about 1 month ago
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rolling up my sleeves and grimly taking the path of the bon vivant
about 1 month ago
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