inspector gadget but he's a safety inspector: go go gadget clipboard. go go gadget PPE. go go gadget reference manual

you are actually the villain in pac-man. the little dots are ghost eggs

taking deep breaths to quell the rage about people driving their assortment of whimsical vehicles all over the sidewalk

christening my opponent across the back with my bottle of victory champagne

hucking the whole bottle of champagne into the air when i win

a deadly game of cat in mouth

Whenever I help a colleague fix a computer problem I leave a 19GB paint file called WORMS.BMP on their desktop as my signature calling card

who wants a credenza

Quick tip to improve your life, replace all hatred with curiosity. Well, bye

jeff moto 2

(wholesome country man) a mouthwatering blend of our signature syrups and thickeners

what type of bird did this

wow nice "restaurant" table for zero pls

pistols at dawn about this merge conflict

get ready to open up a can of adventure on this journey around Our Beansy World

"willie NO" wip, no sound

eating a bowl of cereal in the mosh pit

bad news guys, there's been a horrible mixup and the nuclear launch codes are now hidden somewhere in specially marked boxes of Kelloggs Froot Loops

time for an angry slideshow

imagine if the actual louvre was a landfill

doctor: [pops my skull open like the hood of a car] well there seems to be the problem. your brain is full of ghosts

the most exciting thing about turning 3 is being old enough to eat all the small pieces in your toys and games

this is one of the finest photographs i have ever seen

for great deals on brands you know and love, look for the man with no skin

inside you there are two metric tonnes of bears

gently place the palm of your left foot on your forehead

holding a conch shell up to my ear and hearing an absolutely mental dnb track

did you guys ever hear about the jesus

my boss: ok, any questions? me: (emptying turkey baster full of coffee into my mouth) *huc* *COUGH* *coughcoughcough*

flintstones all-purpose glue: "grabba dabba glue"

2022 lookbook of illegal dance moves

awoo

no, the bird on the $1 coin was never president of canada

new friend alert

ayo secret narrator

whenever i check into a doctor’s appointment i’m worried the receptionist is gonna be like “you don’t have an appointment also that doctor doesn’t exist also you’re not our patient we’ve never heard of you also this isn’t even a real building you’re dreaming wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up w

applying an extra thick layer of fast-acting good times paste to the affected area. i earned this

my walkout song is coolguy.wav

like the phoenix, when they cremate me i'm gonna crawl out the ashes as a fresh baby

saying "see ya round, kid" and biking into the ocean

Boring tasks are easier if I pretend to be a large piece of agricultural machinery fulfilling its purpose.. I’m not doing laundry, I'm a contented vegetable sorting machine... Now I’m a combine harvester that's having an email argument with a pensioner about how their computer works.

when i'm lost, i turn to the good book: wikipedia

Who all fuck heavy with bread

I think a portion of every meal purchased at restraunts and similar should go into the water for fish to eat

this game