whoever does it is gonna be remembered for centuries and reincarnated as a lotus flower

If you strike me down I will become more struck down than anyone has ever been. My ass will essentially have been cooked. Think wisely.

https://gacha.o0o0.jp/gp/archives/25979 『ミイラ･キャット』5月発売予定。棺のケースから現れる 猫ちゃんたちがいざなう 悠久のロマンとミステリー "Mummy Cat" is scheduled for release in May. Cats emerging from coffin cases invite you into a timeless romance and mystery. #ガチャポン #gachapon

Pain is just French bread leaving the body

bugs bunny would wipe the floor with Q from star trek

the animorphs transition but it’s just me morphing from standing to sitting

safe and sound

Every election post tonight is like "Wow the Democrats won the mayoralty in Racismville. Trump didn't just win Racismville but all of Klan-Guntruck County by 42."

Adrift

ratatouille was a government program started during mkultra

leaving the bathroom looking like someone solved the Lament Configuration in there

Glad Max: Funny Road

https://gacha.o0o0.jp/gp/archives/47264 『見上げるたぬき まんまるマスコットフィギュア』4月発売予定。 "Looking Up Tanuki Round Mascot Figure" is scheduled for release in April. #ガチャポン #gachapon

all of America's bravest elected Democrats jumping into action to post vaguely on social media about how somebody else should do something

Stock Futures Inch Lower as Traders Weigh Profitability of Nuclear Genocide

senator, on a beach with drink in hand: this madness must stop

pov you just woke up

lofi beats to feel an impending sense of doom to

Horsies

Gf showing my cute animal videos to try to calm me down and I keep saying that’s a bad guy in Redwall that’s a bad guy in Redwall

Seashells Transform Suburban Bathroom Into Tropical Hideaway https://theonion.com/seashells-transform-suburban-bathroom-into-tropical-hid-1819571584/

I’ve been thinking about this guy almost daily for ten fucking years. essentially my entire 30’s. when he finally croaks I imagine I’ll let out a sigh so deep it realigns my fucking spine

yeah, I have trump derangement syndrome. in a lovecraft way

Ari and Rio (the mascots for Ario Kasai Department Store in Tokyo) are childhood friends and are very close. They can't talk, as a result of being dogs.

Kinda crazy all this is happening and then it’s still like “better pay 23 dollars for dental insurance this month”

Concerned orange. 🍊 Photo from my collection, 1967.

i pronounce usps like i’m trying to get a cat’s attention

trump is kind of the bizzaro franz ferdinand in that if some serbian guys assassinated him it would set off more or less the opposite of world war one

[guy who forgot what the colloquialism for thirsty was] damn im hung like a damn horse over here

I can’t wait to kick your ass. I fucking hate you. I’m going to murder you and your family. *fakes getting and taking a phone call while making a big frown* Okay. If you say so. Bye, mom. *hangs up what is overtly not a call* That was my mom. She said I can’t. You’re so lucky

My official poster for G FEST 2026! Gravitas to Payton and Reagan Lees for graphic work!

how are we supposed to stop an elderly man with dementia who constantly shits himself and can barely string a sentence together? idk, one slippery flight of stairs? it's not like he's in a fucking battle mech

War crime tribunals aren’t enough we gotta put him in a Harlan Ellison short story.

The pedophile king of the United States staring glumly at The Button.

da pan

Guy who got into politics producing ads depicting Obama as an African tribesman: I have compiled a list of people you must disavow if you want to be in our party, the Democrats

Until we start charging $7.99 a month to look at it, we will never unlock the full potential of The Moon

We should learn from animals. Knock over a lamp and then sprint in fear to the other side of the house.

Schemer

Tired: bluesky is dying because people wont suck off centrist neolib parasites Wired: bluesky is dying because every 3rd time you try to log in the website is completely broken because morons who run this place coded it with AI snake oil

Ayatollah Khomeini is the fourth most popular name in America for baby boys born in 2026

This is the first website built entirely on the purity of the user's soul. I'm having no trouble accessing it. If you are then you must look within

Watched the Mario Galaxy movie last night just for him ⭐️🦊

I don’t think an auto parts store jingle should start with oh oh oh oh oh like a lady cumming it’s disrespectful to cars

You can’t park there #art