i pooped three days ago and today it came back out of the toilet and into my butt

being american and getting shot down is so funny what a fucking loser lol

used a whole roll of toilet paper today so that's kind of impressive

if i had one wish i think i would wish for the miasma

sick of everyone giving me the whole dick and ball routine

we shouldn't go to the moon, what if some little guys landed a space ship on your ass and started planting flags how would you feel

scrubbing my asshole of all its data

i've become disenchanted with jacking off just like that green day song predicted

full ass moon damn

Mr. Reduced Visibility

you wouldn't like me when i have to do anything, i'm the incapable hulk

april fools they are actually nuking the moon

thought of a good april fools joke, it's called my life

i've actually been living under a rock for months now, no interest in anything outside my rock

How do I get off this fuckeng ride

trying something new with my penis, something never been done before

i think dogshit is my favorite type of shit

i fell off the face of the earth all the way down into the ass of the earth

things going in and out of holes, that's life

sitting on the toilet singing my little taking a dump ditty

why's everyone talking about harry potter i thought they gunned that asshole down in the street

there was a bug in the toilet, peed on it

sorry i thought we were doing another posting strike

yeah can i get a large penis with a side of ball

actually i have a government permit to piss all over your head

arranging my shit around the top of the toilet bowl and then slamming the lid

it's a shame they are going to purge all the beauty in the world tomorrow

i should have been born a decade sooner so i could have become a millionaire making the most technically basic music about how fucking pissed off i am all the time

i'm basically homer simpson if he could be killed

what's the sound of one ball nutting

when hamburglar said robble robble, i felt that

value menu ass life

great now i have pepperoni grease in my eye

this bird has been going fucking nuts at 2 am all week, just doing every classic bird routine it can think of sounds like a jungle here

animals have been acting strange lately i hope the earth is about to be split in twain

going on a 3 month sabbatical to the toilet

which day was it that god created all this fucking dogshit

i wonder if i can withdraw from reality so hard i become the densest mass in the universe

damn i am not doing ok lol

yeah yeah i’m jerking off my dumb fucking cock or whatever. my penis is cumming ooohhhhh better watch out. if i died how long would it take my loved ones to notice

think i need to quit weed again and last time i did it through the power of love, but now all i have is the power of bitter resentment

haven't been on here much i've been too busy wasting my life in other ways

think i'm ready for my next reincarnation, i hope i get prosperous bug

my 92 year old grandma just gave birth to my uncle

that shameful second trip to the bathroom just to wipe

just stood in the sun for 5 minutes trying to receive its boons

you gotta fight! for your right! to suckkkkk me!

i could see myself being leader of iran i think id do a good job

the bathroom is a type of museum

i've never known what's happening and i'm not going to start now