i need baby shoes never worn FAST

i'm trapping you all in the orbit of my big fat ass

i only eat meat from animals that were listening to chumbawuamba when they were slaughtered

i love milk i wish i could personally thank the cow

let's all take a dump

you should only be able to post one sentence one time and then you can never go back online

i'm at church and they got the communion tshirt gun blasting people with wine and crackers

i'm shit shit shittin on heaven's floor hey hey hey hey yeah

i'm screaming BOOM and CRACKLE and FSSSSSSHHHHHHHHH

shit country, scrap it, do over

pee is a soup and poo is a gumbo

eating chicken soup for the hole

lol not like i was going back to them but i got discharged from my psychiatry services on the grounds of "profanity" they toss you to the wolves when you get mad and say the bad words after they torpedo your life for no legitimate reason

fuck you america, old ass bitch

trying out some new penis maneuvers with the boys

pleading with the sun to please stop it

there's a guy out there that collects poo from every animals and he's got a basement museum filled with jars of shit

they gave the pope a gundam

choosing to believe the picture is the reflecting pool which would be sick as hell

8 of you have no butt cheeks, i just looked it up

get in loser we're doing a holy war

the pope should launch a crusade on washington dc

yknow what fuck this, i'm going to improve my life somewhat

if you aren't sinning then what is the point of the church, they need you to sin so they can stay relevant

i'm declaring a schism with the catholic church, i'm the pope now

gonna see which cooks an egg faster, the sidewalk or my balls

why can't i just fucking like my life jfc

great to be home, already wanna kms

alright portland i have to leave i am being summoned back to hell for 1000 years of torment

kinda hope my plane crashes so i don't have to go back to phoenix

the time between the invention of video game and the ability to play video game on the toilet was remarkably fast

they told me i could be anything so i did literally nothing

announcing to the other bathroom patrons that it's giving piss and shit

just found out that if you get hit by a train, you die

how is everyone in portland so fuckin beautiful

they really need to go back to launching chimps into space, make space travel interesting again

emailing mr bean for life advice

they got pikachu promoting boner pills now

we need a new word, im bored of the dictionary

damn shoulda known i had already thought of mr. penischev

mr penischev, tear down these balls

ty to @guypussy.bsky.social for showing me around portland a little, this place is fuckin cool

MR CANNOLI AND CEDAR LONGPENIS MEETING

boys night w/ @guypussy.bsky.social

smoking a freakin doobie

I love it when ppl say bluesky is this like awful place where you get screamed at all day. that doesn’t happen to me i just hang out you must be really annoying if that happens to you

been smashing shit in donkey kong for like an hour so i don't smash real things

might be leaving portland early because i literally can't stand the level of racist shit my dad is constantly saying, in the same way a guy will come up to you and start saying the most disgusting shit about a woman because he thinks you are a guy just like him so it's ok. fuck this shit

germans be like oh mein pee pee hurtzen

sitting on a toilet made for a child and my balls are fully under water