why is it always lettuce trying to kill us what is up with lettuce

nostalgia for our parents is like “we used to go out and meet people that would change our lives” and nostalgia for us is like “remember ooo kill em?”

“I’m going to bed“ - a mf who is NOT going to bed

someone who was mad at me the other day called me a “highbie twitch streamer” and I was like damn I stream like once a year to 2 people

guy who blames all of his problems on microplastics

ur whipping up a concoction most foul bro

asparagus would be a beautiful name for a greek baby

I can pick up a salt shaker with my ass cheeks I haven’t figured out how to pour it tho

skip walked so jimothy could run

I’m beefing with horse bot

going to a barbecue tomorrow they’re putting me on the grill

protein burger (40 grams of protein)

going into The Odyssey spoiler-free (I can’t read)

they‘re making hawk tuah be a senator what the fuck is going on

#farnarmy are you enjoying your slop today

good news: I’m doing the Super Bowl halftime show this year bad news: I forgot how to juggle

the Tate brothers have been arrested for *looks at the recent update* Everything

no one knows why the flags are at half mast anymore they’ve been there for the last 12 years I think

another woke victory

oh so NOW Taco Bell causing diarrhea is a problem

I went on an odyssey once. No one gave a fuck

the odyssey is gay and trans and bipoc and latinx

“your headphone audio exposure has gone over the limit” SYBAU!

you think you the sponge? you ain’t even the bob

there’s a spectre haunting my ass…the spectre of Taco Bell lettuce

it’s time to work under the blazing hot sun bro

do you ever take a solid shit just to flex?

kinda funny that a lot of people still think heath ledger died because he accessed the mind of the Joker

the chudyssey

YOU NEED TO SHOOT BIGGER ROPES SOLDIER AND THATS AN ORDER!

explosive diarrhea is all the rage these days

@chatpileband.bsky.social is it penis mall? or penis small?

chud pile

“who won the 2020 election“ “I won’t answer that question” “why won’t you answer that question” “because I already answered that question”

you’ve been added to the list “I’m At Your House”

I think time should revolve around me and everyone else should have to deal with that

there’s vomit on his sweater already 9/11 forgetti

cop passing out after touching a lettuce leaf

mmm I’m so full from diarrhea virus

washedbappé

do you think the hair transplant guy will give me a fade

ICYMI - PEN I S MALL is here, the latest single from our forthcoming album, Who Loves the Sun. People seem to REALLY like this one, which feels nice

penis mall

[takes the lid off of a giant pot that says ”Human Stew”] welp. get in

I’m being ground up into little tiny sausages later

taking off my skin at the end of a long day

if you are in @holybible.bsky.social dms or harassing her in any way please stop

idk what linux or windows is I thought computers had brains