slate
@pleasebegneiss.bsky.social
📤 59339
📥 450
📝 4081
egg
pinned post!
since bluesky doesn’t have a drafts folder i’m just going to write my drafts under this post. nobody look, these aren’t finished yet
12 months ago
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big burt acquired
about 3 hours ago
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synthetics when someone’s chest is bursting
1 day ago
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does he ever miss
1 day ago
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you can’t infringe on our right to bear hoagies
add a skeleton here at some point
1 day ago
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here it is folks, the Chicken Finger
1 day ago
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reposted by
slate
lanyardigan
1 day ago
Right about now, the honk shoo brother
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price firmer than arizona iced tea
add a skeleton here at some point
2 days ago
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historically unpopular move for him
add a skeleton here at some point
3 days ago
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i am going to create an email that is so pronouns
3 days ago
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someone tell gavin newsom how many homeless encampments mamdani destroyed with his bare hands
3 days ago
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reposted by
slate
Brendel
3 days ago
Buncha supposed politics experts are going to spend the next week looking at a young charismatic candidate with an optimistic message like it’s some cryptic formula for cold fusion
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one night when things are not terrible
3 days ago
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let’s do another election tomorrow
3 days ago
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i need a live cam on the cuomo campaign stat
3 days ago
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watching election results come in
3 days ago
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i had forgotten what elections feel like when it’s not extremely bleak. we should make good choices more often
3 days ago
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reposted by
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Emily
3 days ago
sorry but mamdani and cuomo should have worn blue and yellow hats, respectively
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pretty awesome how we sacrificed our constitutional rights in exchange for more expensive healthcare and food
4 days ago
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reposted by
slate
the hype
4 days ago
Man's wife loves him and wants him to succeed. Here's why that's bad.
add a skeleton here at some point
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we used to be a nation of reverence and honor
add a skeleton here at some point
4 days ago
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it’s nice that ghosts mostly haunt mansions. imagine being poor living in a shitty apartment with roaches and leaky pipes and then you have to deal with a freeloading phantom that keeps leaving the tv
4 days ago
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they can’t keep giving us hours
5 days ago
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the reason the government hasn’t gotten rid of this wildly unpopular time change bullshit is because it’s psychological warfare to keep us confused and docile
5 days ago
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turn my clocks back? i’m turning them around. i don’t need to see that shit
6 days ago
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now that baseball is over we can focus on a real sport: super monkey ball
6 days ago
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i’ve been saying this but nobody listens until it’s too late
6 days ago
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in 40 years you’ll have a doctor named tyler tell you you’re cooked
6 days ago
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happy to see the flies had a fun night trick or treating inside my pumpkins
7 days ago
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ok tomorrow the kids stay home and grown ups get to go around asking for drugs and razor blades
7 days ago
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halloween any other year: im so tired. why do we do this? halloween on a friday: s tier holiday. we have perfected tradition
7 days ago
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can’t believe the government has been shut down for a month and i still have to pay a dad tax
7 days ago
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tonight is the like the super bowl for monsters and ghouls and such
7 days ago
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i love halloween because you can get an uber and then there’s your driver, a xenomorph
7 days ago
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what do you mean it’s got “pre-biotics”? did you put primordial soup in my smoothie be honest
8 days ago
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me, showing her a funny costume on my phone: judge: please answer the qu— lol nathan garfielder
8 days ago
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8 days ago
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i love seeing someone in the traditional vampire costume. very safe. everyone knows you. that’s our buddy dracula
8 days ago
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it’s me, i’ve been stealing all the rubber conveyor belt dividers. this country doesn’t need more division. these are OUR groceries
9 days ago
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my annual warning to be careful this halloween. it’s when the children come out
9 days ago
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tick or treat? ok commie. how about trick or get a job
10 days ago
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they should invent a salad you can eat with a fork
10 days ago
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so this month i’m supposed to buy a pumpkin, then next month a turkey, and december a tree? can anyone explain what the fuck is going on?
10 days ago
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who gave them keys
10 days ago
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to the car stopped next to me at a traffic light with its windows down blasting the jurassic park theme and yelling “YES! YES!!!”: 👍
10 days ago
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oh you like the world series? what season of the world are you on?
11 days ago
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stop training cops how to shoot a gun and start training them how to tickle
11 days ago
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reposted by
slate
Viktor Winetrout
11 days ago
Cookie Monster’s date: Can we talk about something else
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imagine they made tony hawk’s pro skater today and instead of unlocking darth maul and shrek you’d unlock skibidi toilet and 6 7
12 days ago
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george santos posting from ihop
12 days ago
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the origin story of Pool Man
13 days ago
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