i took an extra at-bat on the @secretbase.bsky.social patreon this month to write my first blog post in forever. it's about the sportswriting practice of using the word "paltry" to describe a batting average www.patreon.com/posts/157713...

unfortunately millennials are unable to credibly recommend any of our music or movies or anything else to younger generations. although we grew up with a lot of great stuff, we blew all our credibility by spending decades talking about space jam, a boring movie for babies

okc, more like really good c

watching baseball @jonbois.bsky.social

my son just farted

if you're not watching these you are sleeping on the weirdest and coolest baseball history series around from the folks who made the great History of the Seattle Mariners video

my top three favorite boroughs of new york: 1. new york 2. philadelphia 3. brooklyn 4. the one and only new york city! 5. boston 4. bodegas

it drives me crazy whenever nba fans try to say that there aren’t any nba players. what, you think the ball’s dribbling itself? watch the games

*clears throat* Dudes fucking rock

episode 3 of THE HISTORY OF CHARGING THE MOUND is now up on youtube and free to watch. it's about bruce kison, who got injured constantly but would not stop throwing at guys and getting charged a record number of times because he feared nothing

i believe that harnessing solar energy is immoral. that energy does not belong to us, it belongs to the sun, and it's going to come back to get it when it consumes the earth in several billion years. don't take what isn't yours. you don't need lights at night if you just remember where everything is

Rump More Bullshit

i’ll be honest, i am stunned by this. i did not think boats were real. wouldn’t they just sink in the water

here are all the states luke skywalker visited in return of the jedi

episode 7 of THE HISTORY OF CHARGING THE MOUND is now up on our patreon. this one’s a supersized 45-minute episode about the mysterious disappearance of mound-chargings and some other baseball things that mysteriously disappeared around the same time

i’m deleting my repost of a fake account impersonating an nba reporter. i didn’t look close enough and i was fooled, and that’s on me. the basketball court does NOT fold up like a backgammon board after the game and the players do NOT sleep in it until the next game

it seems like there are more and more kentucky derbies each and every year

a lot of people who aren’t from louisville don’t realize this, but all those guys are riding horses. none of them are running. it’s pretty obvious once you see it in person

you know, there's nothing quite like baseball. actually, hold on. now that i think about it, softball is a lot like baseball. you know what, nevermind. man. what a turd this post turned out to be, huh

looks like the nba scheduled another game 7 tonight. i do not know why they ever do this. it doesn't take a math degree to realize that if a series lasts for seven games, one team will end up with fewer wins than the other. it's sloppy, it's asymmetrical, and it's a bad look for the league

The video is beautiful

right before the half the pistons inbounded a ball directly out of bounds on the opposite sideline. no one even tipped it or anything, the dude just airmailed it. i feel immensely privileged to have witnessed it

fried rice, while delicious in theory, has never existed and cannot be made by human beings. it requires rice to be pre-made and refrigerated in advance and we as humans lack the capacity to plan that far ahead. in the future, computers may be able to help us do this

one of the best moments from this series (so far)

work isn't real, watch videos instead

the history of charging the mound, episode 2: MIKE SWEENEY vs. JEFF WEAVER now free to watch on youtube

got another episode of the history of charging the mound dropping on youtube tomorrow

96-38 means the hawks could have 30 more points and still be absolutely getting their asses kicked

those hoping to watch celtics-sixers can do so by visiting a participating bank of america atm machine. the resolution is pretty bad and it sucks that you have to stand there the whole time but it is a game 6

the atlanta hawks have now joined the "30-point club," having scored at least 30 points in a single game

it will be interesting to see who will win

i think that the white house ballroom is a waste of money

How do you feel about Donald Trump's actions as president so far? [adjacent to an artful and flattering black-and-white sketch of me] Jon, 43, white "I no longer call it the Sun. I call it the Hot Moon. You cannot catch and eat the Hot Moon because it moves too fast because it is late for school."

earlier i noticed that our pepper mill was almost out of peppercorns. we keep a whiteboard on the fridge to write our grocery lists, and i was about to write "peppercorns," but then i looked and saw we have almost a full extra container. so thankfully we're all set on peppercorns for quite a while

Just watch this. It's awesome. Thank you @jonbois.bsky.social.

i love the nba but it's not a sport. any physical competition held indoors is not a sport, it's "horsing around," a category that also includes hockey and many baseball and football games. nascar's place in this discussion is unknowable as no one is certain of whether being in a car counts as inside

i recommend mlb to anyone who’s a baseball fan. if you happen to be familiar with names like jair jurrjens or kevin seitzer, guess which league they played in? mlb. they have a league website and they’ve got brick and mortar stadiums all over the country you can see in person. it’s a legit operation

THERAPIST: 2003 Video Game LeBron isn’t real. He can’t hurt you. 2003 VIDEO GAME LEBRON:

went to the store

Watching hockey @jonbois.bsky.social

mexican coke is a health drink because it contains real sugar. people should drink it instead of water

a friendly reminder for my colleagues in journalism wrong: "sneak peek" better: "sneak peak" preferred: "sneek peek" best: "snæk pæk"

it is once again time to let jon bois tell you about some weird little guys

my series THE HISTORY OF CHARGING THE MOUND is about the history of charging the mound. here's the first episode, now free to watch on youtube

we're gonna start publishing the first few episodes of The History of Charging the Mound on youtube over the next few weeks. first one drops tomorrow

both of the college football players have been drafted. the nfl draft is now over

@jonbois.bsky.social watching golf

Watching hockey @jonbois.bsky.social