here are my 2026 mlb predictions: al east al central al west nl east nl central nl west rookie of the year (al) rookie of the year (nl) mvp (al) mvp (nl) cy young award (al) cy young award (nl) al wc nl wc alds nlds alcs nlcs world series

harry potter's the second one, right? never got around to reading it. i didn't even read harry pot

i’m working on a new persona called The Joke Doctor. when someone who’s never heard of me posts a joke i’ll reply with “The doctor is in…..” and then rewrite their joke by replacing its subject with a word it kind of sounds like. then i’ll sign off the post with “Fixed it for ya……”

I’m at ICE HQ

me: hey! you guys cut it out or i'm gonna give you a knuckle sandwich alan ritchson: oh no, it's ... it's jon!!! vince wilfork: we're in for it now, boys! isaac chotiner: we better scram!!!

guy commissioning a bust of himself: how will you determine the shipping charges me: weigh a head of you

it will be interesting to see who will win

i think people should be awarded a commemorative coin or something when they say a string of three words that has never before been uttered in human history. he should get a coin for “people respect markwayne”

i think i should be good to go on peppercorns for the next little while. i filled up my pepper mill a few weeks ago and it's still mostly full, i just took a look at it. whenever the time comes, though, the store down the block from me sells them in little containers for five bucks or so

i think i should be good to go on peppercorns for the next little while. i filled up my pepper mill a few weeks ago and it's still mostly full, i just took a look at it. whenever the time comes, though, the store down the block from me sells them in little containers for five bucks or so

i say this as a sports fan: you shouldn't follow live sports. don't attend the games, don't watch them on tv, don't check the score. you're costing time and resources to snoop on a very sophisticated operation that doesn't involve you. just sit tight and wait for a book or video to come out about it

i think it's smart that the Wikipedia page for Chips and Dip opens with a "Rationale" section. a lot of people are flabbergasted to find out about this concept and need some grounding before they get into the history

dr. robby: we have a patient in er room 1. health is at 1%. ideas, people me: 1 dose of the correct kind of medicine, stat! dr. mohan: oh my god. patient’s health is now 100% dr. robby: do you want to ride motorcycles with me me: no. i have to go home and post on bluesky — the world’s #1 site

college basketball is nonsense that must be done away with entirely. all these students should be busying themselves with schoolwork instead of wasting away the day with endless games of "hoops"

i always respected any tv that housed composite inputs on the front of the box. this is known as The People's Input

99.99% of the time if i hear music i don't like i just move on and forget about it, but this song in particular has always stuck with me. to me it's the "surfin' bird" of the 21st century youtu.be/9-eWsv4oazQ?...

Jon Bois @jonbois.bsky.social i ate some raisins | | View full thread | LinuxGlen @linuxglen.bsky.social I didn't say Daniel Tiger was feudalist. I said *the Neighborhood of Make-Believe* is clearly aligned with paleofeudalist thought. | Neil Media @neilmedia.bsky.social You're still accountable.

this is going to keep happening every year until they make this tournament vampire-inclusive

oscar isaac reminds me of karl rove

working on stuff

so this question has come up in conversation recently: obviously, bluesky has features that allow you to disable interactions like replies and quote posts. but is doing so contrary to the spirit of social media? is it antisocial behavior? maybe even unethical? interested to hear everyone's thoughts

they should be called the movie awards instead of the oscar awards. i feel like i've posted something to this effect before. i certainly hope so

movies are a scam. you have to pay them before you get to watch the movie

rice hack: cook it in water first

i bought a different brand of trail mix today and i like it just about as well as the last kind i bought. the only difference is that this one doesn’t have almonds and the other one did, but either way it’s not really a big deal

being a billionaire would actually be awesome. because think about it: you could go to the nicest restaurants, travel the world, and buy as many sports cars as you wanted. buy them with what? your billions of dollars. exactly. more people need to understand the power of money

my first act as a big-league manager is to write “MLB” in huge letters on the clubhouse whiteboard for reasons unclear. i’m fired after starting 1-26. my successor leads them to the playoffs. it turns out i’d used a permanent marker on the whiteboard so he spends all season trying to write around it

one time in london i went to a small casino at one in the morning that had office fluorescent lighting, no music, and pretty much no talking. some guys were playing billiards and the balls clacking was the only sound in the room. you should have to go to a place like that

the pitt should introduce a character exhibiting symptoms of delirium who won't stop yelling that everyone in the hospital is in a tv show

about to grab some lunch

[bookended by two prolonged periods of complete silence] i’m just sayin’

people on youtube love putting the words DARK TRUTH and SHOCKING DOWNFALL on the thumbnail of their video about a guy who retired due to injury at age 37

unfortunately it isn't possible to adjust a wristwatch to account for the switch to daylight saving time. there are plenty of hucksters out there who claim it can be done, but the reality is that your watch is now defective and must be discarded in a fresh waterway such as a river or swimming pool

remember to set your clocks tonight. time begins at 2 am

“what are some accessories he could use to reconcile with his brother and process recent existential trauma” “uhhhhh”

My sister got me this for Christmas because she couldn’t believe they made an action figure of “Dirt Farmer Picard”

don't be surprised if some of your favorite baseball stars wind up playing major league baseball this season. i guarantee you that this very minute, big-league teams are beating feet all across the country – and beyond – as they look to fill their rosters with the very best ballplayers they can get

they're both geniuses they're both assholes their beef was inevitable youtu.be/68-InSDCVcI?...

i just bought some cardamom at the store. they didn’t ask to see my driver's license since i’m a father

it ought to be interesting to see how the midterms shake out. lots of candidates out there. make sure you read up on them between now and november or else you’ll be looking pretty silly in the voting booth

i cannot stress enough how good this series is

do you think you could drink a 12-ounce can of soda of your choosing every day for a week for 76 million dollars? the catch is that during that week, you’re not allowed to travel to columbus, georgia unless you already had plans to or you just want to

this series is up there with the best things jon has ever done

i'm teaming up with kalshi to pick up a car battery, angle it so that one of its corners is pointed at the ground, and drop it directly on my toenail

today's brand new episode of THE HISTORY OF CHARGING THE MOUND is all about dave rozema, one of the funniest guys to ever play baseball www.patreon.com/posts/152004...

Wise words