Rob Schneider is doing a gym guy thing now

man this feels like a sliding doors moment for me apnews.com/article/char...

panicking at tax time because i have to write something next to EMPLOYER: but im the editor of a website 🤔

i'm the fat guy who falls down first in the treadmill montage. i never had a chance

Love the Go Off Kings but mad they're not streaming all day long? That's why we invented Worst of Kings! A 24/7/365 livestream of classic GOK VODs. Right now we're airing the "Kings This Out" live stream from last year. Who knows what'll be next? So...Kings it out! www.twitch.tv/worstofkings

oh my god they have both been sentenced to death

Oh, 1776. thats kind of cool. reminds me of that year

sons love laying in the dog bed. ill tell ya that much

i think i might post on here, oh, lets say, 250,000 times. that feels like a good number to start with

In a few years we're going to look back on the Anthony Mackie era with more confusion and frustration than Trump II. You mean to tell me this guy was in the fuckin movies?!? Why? Did all the celebrities die???

Top 5 Subway Rankings!!! Plus, we're joined by Aussie comedian @tomwalker.bsky.social for a historic debate on what makes America truly great! On an all new YKS Premium www.patreon.com/posts/yks-pr...

Rudy Giuliani hospitalized after a grey alien took a glowing neon green piss in his mouth

i do not help the homeless.

our stream viewers paid us to do it. i'm not hiding from you if thats what you're implying. i literally use my real name on here.

This.

LIVE NOW! trying to find the 4th object. can you help me? #charity

i know that posting is the actual praxis but in lieu of that my friends and i raised 73,000 bucks for the PCRF last year, which i'm very proud of. you can donate here if interested: www.pcrf.net also turn your replies on @emericanjezebel.bsky.social

@amcnal.bsky.social did you find the thing i stole yet

just bought a kevin hart nft 👍

We had @jessefarrar.com on the show to talk about cartoon guys and he’s making me post about it bdd66b71-1e02-45c7-ad9e-0b9aadb7926b.libsyn.com/guys-episode...

i dont work hard enough at my fake job. which is real when other people do it, badly.

Social Media in 2035

Listen up kid, I was making my bones when you were busy getting shitted out of your momma's big fat ass.

Live now. And Addressing the Allegations.

i was too factoring in koala exposure.

no one has ever been cheating on his wife harder than this dude is cheating on his wife. this guy is cheating on his mistress with a second mistress, who he is also cheating on with his friend's wife.

warning to all communist anime people: i will be finding this accusation funny even six months from now

hey monogamous straights...its been 5 months since we found out we can get STIs, too. i better see 5 negative tests from each one of ya on my desk by EOW or you're outta the Not Undermining Public Health club

Hantavirus is no joke 😂 That's why I've started washing my hands after touching rat feces 🐀 What are doing differently to fight hantavirus?💪

this is your one Hour warning

i love when netflix gets the best stand-up comics in the entire world together

UPDATE: preview sale of new 1/1 work in the secret "island of bakoon" discord will be tmrw/saturday night at around when you would have a late dinner if you were on the west coast of the united states: discord.gg/eNMFuvds9P i will alert one hour prior

At last...a hat even I wouldn't wear to cover up a botched perm. New YKS Premium! www.patreon.com/posts/yks-pr...

Ad free episodes and more available at patreon.com/yourkickstar...

Tennessee is a piece of shit

hopping on my smart scale to let the chinese government employee in charge of monitoring my data know that i'm not doing too good

i guess the guy who runs this website got caught whackin his pud. big deal. we all do it. erase the stigma @safety.bsky.app

It's the KFC Boneless Bucket Five Two when JF is eating it in his car. twitch.tv/gooffkings

me looking at my 10% pay in full discount offer on the 2nd hospital bill resulting from the same 15 second visit

hello everyone. it’s time for one of those posts. i got laid off in October and my unemployment runs out next week. i have years of experience writing online long form, short form, and scripted video content and am very looking for more of a chance to do that for money again. can send samples

i didnt make it this blurry. thats just what southern christian writers look like

just "aced" another cognitive test

EXCLUSIVE: Rudy Giuliani has died at the age of 58. The preliminary cause is believed to be Death By Chocolate. More delicious news to come.

my kids watching me explain why you have to use the tv remotes in a specific sequence

just aced another cognitive test. hey doctors, try making it a little challenging next time, ok?

God dude this mizzenmast sucks shit. If I get asked to hoist it one more time I'm gonna go fuckin postal

ordering takeout online: heres a QR code for you to scan that will open in our app which will give you another code for the restaurant to scan and verify your identity. keep it secret keep it safe. actually picking up food: hey i ordered online. yep that one thanks

This is interesting because it challenges two widely held political assumptions: 1) that people love it when everything at the supermarket is at least $8.99 and 2) that the easiest way to win voters over is to go on TV every day and say that you need to build a big event space or you'll die.