This did help my day a little I must say

Made the BDN, Press Herald, and NPR www.bangordailynews.com/2025/09/30/p...

RFK Jr.’s latest lawsuit against my dad was tossed. (He’ll keep trying). The judgment was satisfying, though I chuckled when the judge noted the defendant’s sub-1,000 Twitter following as a legal consideration (militating against the possibility of grave defamation) www.dailykos.com/stories/2025...

The only sound you hear is a guy going Woohoo like Super Mario jumping

ME IN FRONT OF EVERY GENERAL IN THE WORLD ASSEMBLED IN A ROOM, SOUNDING LIKE IM ABOUT TO CRY: A lot of people were very unfair to me about my joke on Dough Boys where Wiges described a guy whooping on his train. I said he was Frasier's least popular brother. Because his name would be Whooping Crane

I believe my friend Kaleb Horton would find it funny that he died before GTA VI came out. And I choose to believe he is playing it right now in Heaven, just like he looked forward to doing, with special, massive DLC content only available to angels, and NOT more GTA Online bullshit.

I needed this

Anyone know a good room to work out some new material I'm hoping to shape into an hour long special next year? Ideally in the Kingdom of Saudi Arabian?

Aerosmith had a lost song titled "Street Bra." It was ordered disappeared

Elon Musk and Donald Trump were secret pedophiles together with Jeffrey Epstein

It's wild reading about British aristocrats. You'll have a guy named Lord Donut Monroe and not only do we have to take it seriously. But he created Pakistan

Every day is one battle after another. Specifically in my case to say out loud to anyone I see in my daily life one of the thoughts I think all day. Like "I was the one male Pointer Sister (Macky Pointer). I played keyboard"

I would say I only think this in my head about various things 50-100 times per day

The last shot of Young Sheldon is him climbing a clocktower in Texas clutching a rifle. Ominous smash cut to black

JD Vance talks to himself like Gollum

Elon Musk does seem uniquely stupid enough to publicly demand the release of files containing the revelation that he went to the island for wealthy pedophiles with the world's biggest pedophile

What the fuck?

Something I think about sometimes is how the barn cats on my family's farm didn't have names. It makes a cat so much more powerful to have an unknown identity

the single most pathetic leader on Earth

Testing out a Benjamin Netanyahu impression

This guy really prides himself on being a superb communicator to Americans. He considers it one of his great strengths, and is even a bit arrogant about it. I'm not sure the evidence bears this out.

Me doing my first ever live show

Only the most normal and law abiding James Bond supervillains do this

A mass walkout of the UN General Assembly as Netanyahu prepares to speak.

I see a future where Northern Irish Protestants are punted into another country by a British government. Basically a science fiction-level development.

Oh my God. Charlie Kirk has been shot!

Dirty Dancing happened to two guys I worked with at a plumbing supply company in Niles IL. In the summer obviously

If, like me, you're obsessed with movies like "Heat" & "Thief" & shows like "Crime Story," William Hanhardt, retired Chicago Chief of Detectives, played a big role in molding the image of his intelligence unit detectives depicted in all. The truth, however, was stranger: youtu.be/d4gEyA2z3aE?...

Hey, do me a favor if you can today: if you like our mob podcast The Outfit, rate it 5 stars on Apple. Tell em Large Marge Sent Ya. Unforch a lot of MAGA chuds find our pod there, think it's gonna be more mafia porn, & SLAM a 1 star when we call Trump a pedophile. podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/t...

TODAY on The Outfit: Bill Hanhardt, legendary Chicago Police crimefighter, technical advisor to Michael Mann classic "THIEF," inspiration for characters in NBC's "CRIME STORY" & "HEAT"--and a gangster in a uniform. APPLE: podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/t... SPOTIFY: open.spotify.com/show/6Y82Liu...

I love when my wife joins Jesse Watters in the 10 PM block of Fox News to let the largely elderly viewership know: I am a sexual matador in the bedroom.

Imagining going to Hawaii for a week when I cannot justify it professionally or financially in any way

This guy has interviewed the president multiple times if I recall correctly

I came here for stories of guys getting fed their own balls while being shot in the brain at a baptism, NOT for you to say "Donald Trump is a CRAP 🖕"

Hey, do me a favor if you can today: if you like our mob podcast The Outfit, rate it 5 stars on Apple. Tell em Large Marge Sent Ya. Unforch a lot of MAGA chuds find our pod there, think it's gonna be more mafia porn, & SLAM a 1 star when we call Trump a pedophile. podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/t...

TODAY on The Outfit: Bill Hanhardt, legendary Chicago Police crimefighter, technical advisor to Michael Mann classic "THIEF," inspiration for characters in NBC's "CRIME STORY" & "HEAT"--and a gangster in a uniform. APPLE: podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/t... SPOTIFY: open.spotify.com/show/6Y82Liu...

Rudy, the beloved short football player from Notre Dame and the movie, has been euthanized. He was suffering from the breathing issues pugs and Boxer dogs get

Republicans are all pussies 👍

We are LIVE and In Conversation with our old friend Eric Wareheim. TUNE IN: youtube.com/live/DGZYRmGM7s4

I want to repeat what I said yesterday: Spinal Tap II is good and a hoot

confess, dissident journalist...or the real torture begins

One day away from the Riyadh Comedy Festival...I don't know if I can wait! this is harder than going to bed on Christmas Eve!

Forget everything you already know about America's most notorious dead person. Jeffrey Epstein: Bad Pedophile is in select theaters October 2.

something I think about a lot is the Jon Benjamin Has A Van episode where he's bitten by a werewolf, but keeps being bitten by other people and gaining their qualities, until at the end he's a gay Orthodox Jewish werewolf

absolute banger alert youtu.be/uduy2mebnOk?...

I bet representing yourself is a lot of fun and a really freeing liberating experience, knowing you're going to be executed at the end of it and throwing all caution to the wind regardless

Oh man Spinal Tap II RUUUULED

If you were to ask me what the good kind of New Yorker is, to balance out the dark Trump energy. It's Wendy the Snapple lady.