"but you can't get the latest news updates on Bluesky" brother, we are getting BETTER than the news...we are getting the inside scoop on Mr. Pibb @davidjroth.bsky.social

*checks MLB scores after the movie* hmm...I'm starting to get the feeling this might not be the Pirates' year.

Going to see PROJECT HAIL MARY this afternoon because the REAL baseball games were played yesterday

ok, not to be too pedantic, but "99% decimation" is very funny

He went vegetarian and still pretty much looked the same. That, to me, is a hero.

"some Will Hardy-esque bozo" is the most savage NBA head coach burn I've ever heard. Bravo.

Harry Potter tattoo regret rate is an order of magnitude higher than regret for Gender Reassignment Surgery and yet no one has been brave enough to suggest we legislate Harry Potter tattoos.

One of the funniest things to me is when an elite veteran starter like Fried looks pretty consistently crappy throughout all of spring training, and you know it means nothing, but a voice deep inside says "maybe something is off" and then he goes out in game 1 of the regular season and dominates.

This is dumb as shit, but also...hell yea, I'll take a hot dog.

We could've had Dellin on the TV, but we got Jameis Winston for some fucking reason

God, I hate Aaron Boone's smug fucking face

Jazz will NEVER play for Team USA with this attitude!

Didn't really work out for Bonds in terms of championships...

I can laugh at this Aaron Judge performance because the Yankees are winning by 7 runs.

Damn you, @pinstripealley.bsky.social !

Give Max Fried the Cy Young for getting through that inning as quickly as possible and sparing us more Rob Manfred commentary

Big G has had tennis elbow in both arms for two years now and he's still hitting baseballs harder than fuck. The fact that he runs the bases slower than your grandma only adds to his legend.

The only downside for the Yankees right now is that Giancarlo Stanton has had to do far too much running considering it's Game 1 of 162.

@davidjroth.bsky.social honestly this is boring as fuck. I was hoping for a Bryce Harper Blood Jiffy Lube or something

Webb is gonna absolutely carve up the Yankees over the next 3 innings...which makes it even funnier than Caballero, McMahon and Grisham touched him up for five runs.

Jazz is so cool and charismatic...which makes me think the Yankees front office can't wait to get rid of him

The Yankees did jack shit to improve in the off-season and then start the regular season like this...

This is the poor man's "did you know Todd Frazier is from Toms River, NJ?"

Baseball is back, and the fans LOVE IT!

I hope we get dancing Phil Rizzuto holograms for the Yankees' home opener.

"It's been done." -Rob Lowe

The hellspawn of a Real World Republican and a Road Rules Republican.

Unfortunately my little princess is 15 years old and almost totally deaf, but it's cute when she finally notices I've come to pet her and she makes says the kitty equivalent of HHHHHHWUH???

MLB’s Korean marketing slogan used to be “It’s big ball chunky time”, and I will never stop thinking about it

Finished my first day in an office in a year. As I was leaving, I saw some Afghan guys playing volleyball. Someone missed a dig and the ball came rolling quickly in my direction. I caught up to it at a full run and swatted it back to them with my briefcase. Got huge applause. I felt like a god.

Hey @briancgrubb.bsky.social I found an occupation for you

I'm paraphrasing @olufemiotaiwo.bsky.social here, but words really don't mean shit anymore.

I'm at the office and accidentally watched an IG clip of the Jackass stunt where they stomp on Ehren McGhehey's balls with a pogo stick, and I'm struggling to hold it together.

Still an all-timer

@davidjroth.bsky.social man, I don't like this. A rare miss from Bonebone.

I'm proud to announce that I am STILL too old and fat for the US military!

Talarico's profile headshot also doubles as a "u mad?" meme

My associate @slclunk.com and I have been working on something very dumb that I'm extremely proud of: Bluesky Unforgiven (thread)

Jackson Browne giving off Anton Chigurh vibes on this album.cover

@slclunk.com I'm already missing the dumb meme

"I've dunked on women and children. I've dunked on everything that walks or crawls at one time or another. And I'm here to dunk on you, Little Bill, for what you posted about Ned."

My associate @slclunk.com and I have been working on something very dumb that I'm extremely proud of: Bluesky Unforgiven (thread)

No, Marisa! Don't show me this! Don't make me cry!

I'm just going to pretend Michael Ian Black walked into the forest 20 years ago, did some Walden shit, and was never heard from again.

Jordan Clarkson dark horses defensive player of the year????