From the Telemundo broadcast just now by the commentary team during a slow-mo replay of the goal and a shot of Haaland with his hair down: "This is a perfect goal. The ball didn't touch anything." In exaggerated, gravely, dramatic voice: "TERMINATOR"

I am restarting the War on British Food on the side of British food

The telemundo broadcasts a delight. Going straight from a tangent talking about Jalen Brunson and the Knicks championship drought to saying Haaland - TER-MEE-NAY-TOR like it’s a verbal tic

Every time there’s a VAR call in the game, the entire US team should mime putting a phone to their ear and waving to the ref

I don’t have a take on the Balogun thing except it’s very funny to think THIS is what’s going to make people dislike Americans.

i’m sorry to take this funny thing and try and pry out a serious point but i think this is just another version of a huge problem americans have- where we for some reason think that we are not the same type of human that people everywhere around the world are

v funny to see all the europeans getting extremely mad at us for celebrating the balogun unsuspension in a rabidly partisan manner do you want us to get into soccer or not

Miriam Adelson is horrible, but she's horrible because she's a billionaire buying elections. Thomas Massie can't make a principled critique of all billionaires, because that would lead him to leftism, so he has to single out the "Tel Aviv born" ones. He knows exactly what he's doing here.

Taylor could have coughed up enough to get Immortal to reunite and play At the Heart of Winter in its entirety but oh well

There were two entities: America 250, a bipartisan organization chartered by Congress, and Freedom 250, a Trump-backed group. Companies intending to donate to America250 were supplied routing and account numbers that directed their funds to Freedom 250. wapo.st/4fe4Whs

I have such an expertly curated algorithm that I'm seeing posts from Mexican street food restaurants in the US and this is how they're advertising the game tomorrow night. "Good vibes"

The God Emperor listens to the YMCA

this guy is the co-founder of Airbnb

Oh look. A city of immigrants and libtards run by a socialist put on a spectacular show. Kinda puts DC in the shade.

Ok so second funniest outcome is he gives his speech and then every firework in the city detonates simultaneously and that’s the last thing his crowd hears

It seems a settled question at this point that God is Big Mad at Donald Trump. How Big is the Mad remains to be seen.

important update from washington, d.c.

lol lol lol lol lol lol oh it’s tussling outside

apparently they told people to go to the department of commerce for shelter but the doors are locked, and ngl that’s a good bit. say what you will about the big guy, but he hates his supporters as much as we do

Daily Wire editor in chief Brent Scher alleging that the Trump administration, for some reason working in concert with the Southern Poverty Law Center despite pursuing criminal charges against the org, planted a white nationalist group in DC this morning.

The entire pitch for the pied a terre tax was that if people want to live in New York they should live in New York, with all that entails, and it turns out people want to live in New York.

Again lol

Having my organs removed and preserved in my collection of Dunkin' Canopic Jars.

These losers with their stupid fucking shields

🎶 He's coming, he's coming, he's coming... 🎶 youtu.be/sbRom1Rz8OA?...

CONFIRMED: THE ALIEN SPACECRAFT OVER NEVADA HAS BEEN DESTROYED! EAT SHIT, ALIENS!!

Happy surrender of Vicksburg day to all who celebrate! A key moment for the defeat of the enslavers’ rebellion, reopening the Mississippi River to US navigation & cutting the Confederacy in two. en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Siege_o...

We are attempting to get confirmation of the identity of the pilot who sacrificed himself to destroy the alien ship.

honestly we should have some sort of American Shahada, just give an honest and heartfelt recitation of our values and bingo-bango, here's your passport

“Over 280 men were detained and shipped overseas to the El Salvadoran prison CECOT, known for its cruel conditions and use of torture. According to the National Immigration Law Center none of these men were given any opportunity to defend themselves in court.” www.liberalcurrents.com/every-act-wh...

This is...honestly beyond parody

America “is not merely the promise implicit in the Declaration of Independence nor the genocide of indigenous peoples. It certainly is not ‘somewhere in the middle.’” www.liberalcurrents.com/america-is-b...

I can't believe this, but I have a personal example of this from my family: my great-great-great grandfather was born on a ship in New York Harbor that had just arrived from Cobh in 1848, but had not yet disembarked. Was he a native-born citizen? Nobody cared; the whole ship was allowed to live here

We have reports of last minute marriage ceremonies being held by a chaplain within Area 51.

god please restore my faith today

This is the best of who we are and what we represent. www.nytimes.com/interactive/...

As conspiratorial as people are about the NBA already, imagine if it was like soccer and games ended indeterminately and entirely at the refs' discretion. There'd be like Qanon-level conspiracies to every single outcome.

My American patriotism is tied up in essentially working to make the rest of the country more like NYC

the kelce bros tearfully disassembling their bunk bed

Potential Egypt vs Mexico pyramid-off

So I said “Bobby Lee, it sounds like you’re just feeding brigades to emplaced artillery” and then Longstreet started crying.

Man Astoria is gonna burn lol

this episode is like 30x more harrowing than the others were i was not ready for this

…there amidst smoke and sweat, they gave back, without grudge, or loss of time in the sending, in kind whatever the enemy sent, globe, and cone, and bolt, hollow or solid, an iron greeting to the rebellion, the compliments of the wrathful Republic.”