as the texas chapter’s president i guess i’m an [takes drag on a marlboro red] outlaw now

i think wednesday gon be an all-timer Day on here as we react to the dumbassary posted to the internet after the rapture

i’ve watched this 76 times in 2 mins

my 10th grade teacher’s report to my folks re: why me and my 2 best friends needed to be separated

“task” (hbo max) is really good.

the irony of missing a game to attend the service for the man who woulda 100% mocked him if he’d asked to miss a game for like the birth of his child. “weak!”

hell yeah for MY seattle mariners of baseball,

butker keeps missing shots but guess who didn’t miss a shot

America’s team would overpay for Docusign

this is it. this the game that gets jerry jones fired by jerry jones.

when the office manager asks us what kind of pens we want

dak gave up right there on 4th and goal. that pass shoulda never left his hands. pitiful.

dallas cowboys about to get blown out by the 0-2 chicago bears. this is it. the day “america’s team” moniker was legally transferred to the philadelphia eagles. please check your email for the docusign.

turpin got hit by a bus while playing football yikes

unbelievable lack of tackling by dallas. that video will make all defensive coordinators groan lol

cowboys pass rush PUTRID my goodness

don’t worry, jadeveon clowney will save the cowboys’ pass ru— [producer yells in my earpiece]….oh…

cowboys defense thought it was a good idea to leave all-world tight end cole kmet wide open in the endzone. galaxy brain shit

time for the bears to hit a 50+ yard td pass

the cowboys been bringing field goals to a touchdown fight since 1997. Tradition™️!

cowboys pass defense today vs. the bears

the dallas cowboys (derogatory)

yes i watch cowboys games while standing. easier to run barf then having to get up and then run. lol and they just fumbled so excuse me,,,

lemme sit down. cowboys actually pressured a qb.

brother i can tell you are under 25 bc considering last week’s cowboys game as “amazing” is rough

baker mayfield gon win the heisman this year for the bucs

jets - bucs have same 27-26 score as eagles-rams did with under a minute to go as tampa bay drives to try to take lead/win. fam, if same thing happens…

after that exhilarating rams-eagles game i’m now forced to watch the dallas cowboys. this is torture.

LMAOOOOOOOOOOOMG

too much time left on the clock for kyren williams to cook

a.j. brown is 92% a commercial magnet and 8% water

if the rams lose this game after having a 19 point lead, the gotta be moved to wyoming in the middle of the night. take the office light bulbs too.

kyren williams been him since college

can’t remember the last time i’ve seen the eagles look this flat

Yeah man we should really fight back by staying on X

read this statement in this old southern lawyer’s voice

yeah we def gon see a couple of cfb head coach firings in the next few hours

sparky wins. tough loss for baylor at home.

me —in between sobs— after obj’s one-handed td catch vs. my cowboys in 2014

[clock goes under 2 minutes in any football game] a dad, to no one: can’t turn the ball over here

sparky scored but too much time left for baylor to do some work. good one coming to an end soon on fox.

if i were baylor i wouldn’t leave an asu receiver uncovered for a 61yd catch. but that’s just me.

chill, hoosier 👀

best thing you’ll see today. cbs sports cfb guru @shehanjeyarajah.com was on tv and his daughter recognized him. 😭😭

one annoying thing that migrated Here from Over There: joke explainer guys ❌

man, so good to see randy moss on tv. glad that brother still with us after his cancer experience.

100%. and he was there too!

jordon: “skibidi toilet, babe” bill [deep sigh]: “which credit card do you need?”

jeremiyah love is gonna piss off so many fantasy players on sundays