okay time for the folks behind the courageous “alt” government department social media accounts have their chance to band together and save the government like the heroes they truly are

september 30 ... october 1

🫡

when this game started the government was open

never have so many people at the same time thought “this could’ve been a goddamn email”

250th anniversary coming up!

thinking about the time albert pujols complained to bob nightengale that i asked him if he was motivated, at 34, to keep up with young mike trout, then trout had a 7.7 bwar mvp season and pujols had 8.2 bwar the rest of his career

they should let him do the barry bonds drugs for one season and then cancel baseball forever because he’s beaten it. he’s beaten the game. of baseball.

i think part of the reason mike brown is able to get away with being so famously cheap is that marge schott was even cheaper *and* a nazi (at a time that was roundly agreed to be bad)

Dr. Eric White is a top scholar on the Gutenberg Bible, but in his free time, he's been studying one of baseball’s biggest mysteries – Who are the unnamed artists behind the classic Topps baseball cartoons? thefanfiles.com/articles/topps-baseball-cards-cartoons-comics-cartoonists

what kind of numbers could jim leyland have put up with nicorette?

you never know what kind of frightening things you’ll encounter on the streets of new york

the seth curry signing really makes it feel like everything there ends after this season doesn’t it

thank you, mets, for missing the playoffs and allowing me to say “no thank you” to watching blake snell throw 83 pitches in 3.2 innings while also having his face

as always, sticking out the thumb makes you look like a loser, the emoji is 🖕 for a reason

it was particularly brilliant to bring all the generals in for a lecture right before shutting down the government and stopping paying them

i am begging golden state to not just give steph and seth both “curry” jerseys do it DO IT DOOOOO ITTTTTTTT

a feature that lets your friends know you blocked the guy who was being weird to them, so they know you got their back but also you don’t get sucked into posting at weirdos

especially strange depiction because he’s explicitly NOT with the angels now

yankees-red sox has so much more juice at fenway since the yankees moved to the mall

if you’re a visual learner i made you some maps of where the people quoted in this article as supporting portland being occupied by troops live

really tough series for the ricketts family they usually love brownshirts storming into chicago

balls aren’t being rubbed

is zack mckinstry the millennial charlie culberson

see will vest see will vest his control is not the best but he doesn’t give up homers that’s a big reliever test

i appreciate the assholes who continue to wear wahoo shit making it easy to root against cleveland

picks based on the funniest thing happening - tigers boatrace guardians in the span of 26 hours - yankees in three as every move aaron boone makes works perfectly - cubs in three to extend their fans’ misery - back from yokohama, it’s nordberg! and reds sweep the megateam with some classic bullshit

All shall know the hour, but none shall know the minutes, fuckos

my first reaction yesterday was the M should run weekends for both consistency and better service my thought now is extend the G on weekends

government ain’t helped nobody paaaaawwwwwwwwwwwlllllll

would you rather be a fan of the pittsburgh pirates or the cleveland browns, acknowledging that there are probably some sickos in western pennsylvania and eastern ohio who are somehow both

A tribute to the 2025 Pittsburgh Pirates

fs2 is showing the grand final again… brisbane just made it 77-50, and oh there’s so many points left in 15 minutes of game

i had a regular peanut butter cup today because i realized it had been a while and truly everything else is still chasing the original so i look forward to enjoying this one too

bengals-dolphins is currently scheduled for sunday night football on december 21, have a feeling they might flex that one

like a pitcher pointing at the sky as the ball goes 450 feet off the jumbotron

the jets should try point shaving, they’d probably wind up winning more

surely this post will win over the trump-voting soybean farmers of bluesky

in a way, they pretty much always mutually agree. maybe one of the times billy martin got fired he refused to leave, or he tried to quit and they convinced him he was drunk, but mostly it’s “you’re fired” and “okay you can mail me the stuff from my office”

they’re juicing the kicker balls

look it’s very difficult to deal with the crowd noise in miami with the famously extremely loud miami fans who always show up for miami games and make tons of noise

the existence of “espnbet” is a real failure of society

the jets got scored on by a guy who retired because he was so wrecked by getting dumped by kelsey plum he did a terrible song about it

wrote about the most beautiful play in college football history channel-6.ghost.io/the-2025-top...

HERE IT IS: The final Austin Wells burrito rankings chart for the 2025 season. What a ride.

brian “bodice ripper” daboll, i’ve always called him

this is a very good change, and they should finally run the M on weekends

I just called Chuck Schumer’s office and, for the first time EVER, a person answered, who then politely entered my complaints into their call log. This tells me two things: 1) They’re not getting enough calls over there, and 2) If you want to yell at Schumer, today’s the day. (212) 486-4430