true bummer the final score is going to look Kinda Normal here

ball-knower

DVOA said these Seahawks were one of the best defenses of all time and I think it's fair to say maybe DVOA had a point

JASON MYERS IS THE FIRST KICKER EVER TO HIT FIVE KICKERS IN THE SUPER BOWL YOU HAVE WITNESSED HISTORY THIS EVENING

Macbeth: SHIT

It's happening

why couldn't the Patriots at least let Jarrett Stidham into the Super Bowl. at least it would've been funny

the nicest thing I can say about the Pats' offense tonight is that I'm pretty impressed it took them until the third quarter to commit a turnover

fun fact about New England's punter who keeps punting because the Patriots keep punting: he was briefly cut from Michigan State's football team and worked as a team photographer so he could stay around his teammates www.nytimes.com/athletic/285...

MARIST'S LEAD CONTINUES TO GROW

america could be such a cool fucking place if we’d just let it be

hold up did they have Carrie Underwood sing a song NOT about waiting all day for Sunday night

We’re gonna win they’re gonna lose

JJ BAREA DID WIN THE NBA CHAMPIONSHIP BEFORE LEBRON, ITS TRUE

LADY GAGA SALSA ALBUM WHEN

ITS TIME TO PLAY AMERICA FAVORITE GAME: IS THAT A CATCH!?

one celebrity in a commercial: tawdry. boring. two celebrities in a commercial: my eyebrows raise three or more celebrities in a commercial: I rip my credit cards out of my wallet and start hurling them at the television in a desperate frenzy

Seahawks seem to know this

KING

AD GUY: I think you guys should buy a Super Bowl ad LEVI'S EXEC: about how the stadium they're playing the Super Bowl in is named after our company, right? AD GUY: not exactly

Patriots might not score a touchdown unless Sam Darnold throws them one

the arc of commercials for domain name companies has gone from "ARE WE GONNA SHOW YOU A HOT LADY'S TITS? GO ONLINE TO FIND OUT!?!?!?!" to "we paid an arthouse director to direct his muse in a wordless ad in the style of their films" which is a weird way for society to progress but i'll take it

in the final game of his college career, Texas punter Michael Dickson punted so much and so effectively that he was named MVP of the bowl game they were playing in and tonight it is going to happen again

the Seahawks defense knows where you're going to be before you do. and they're mean

during the NFL Draft process everybody was like "yeah Will Campbell was a great, productive tackle in college, but he has short arms" and I thought they were being picky and after watching him play in the NFL I now think arm length is the most important attribute for offensive linemen

Need the Wilt meme for Ilia’s 200 figure skating points ASAP

I did not know you could score this many figure skating points

I can’t believe they would do this on the day of Grey Zabel’s Super Bowl appearance

USA-Japan figure skating going down to the wire straight into the Super Bowl is an incredible Sports Day

They made a GHOST musical???

i bet the pair that skated to Gladiator felt DUMB AS HELL when the Japanese pair came out and skated to the exact same song from Gladiator, but sung by Andrea Bocelli

Siblings who are sick of each other

which relationship archetype are you using for your pairs figure skating team build in Figure Skating Dynasty 26 —in love/in a relationship —in love/not in a relationship —one yearning/other uninterested —both straight/strictly professional —one or both gay/lesbian

Hans Zimmer when there’s a new Christopher Nolan movie coming out AND it’s an Olympic figure skating year

Legitimately a remarkable victory for liberalism, broadly defined, that these sorts of situations, which are *all over* Europe (Alsace-Lorraine, the Basque Country, the entire country of Belgium) at one point were bloody ethnic conflicts, do not generate anything stronger than shitposting arguments.

congratulations to retired MLB outfielder Ryan Langerhans on winning the Olympic gold medal in luge

just watched Dominik Fischnaller clinch a medal for the Italians and Remembered a Post

We got fetty wap’d

just keeps giving

🗣️IM LIKE HEY WHATS UP HELLOOOOOOO

I am assuming the most popular athlete in Norway is Erling Haaland but how close is the competition from the various GOATs they regularly pump out in cross country and biathlon and Nordic Combined

they believe in nothing, they love nothing but their own power, and they have no moves that don't involve spamming the hate button

time and time again, MAGA Republicans are more excited to target and root against American athletes who have spoken out against them (or, in this case, merely expressed ambivalence) than they actually are to celebrate winning American athletes

lol I just posted about this to @dangartland.bsky.social. yes the NBC announcer is kindly pronouncing this guy's name wrong ("farth-offer") even though he very clearly hits the "fart" in his pronunciation recording on the official Olympics website

Self-Portrait, by John Kane, 1929, 📸 via @rodger.bsky.social

my understanding of curling has done a bell curve where at first I was like "if they're yelling a lot it's probably way off line and probable to miss" and then i was like "no it's more nuanced than that", and now that I've watched a lot I think I'm back to the "yelling = miss" thing

2 or 3 times Team USA's opponents in the curling have had a chance to win or lose the game on the final shot and absolutely bricked it and I've gotta say that might be one of my new favorite sports-watching experiences

so, I declined a temporary gig covering The Olympics for a Big Media Company bc I wouldn't have been able to do the newsletter. I was hoping to get enough paid subs over the 2 Olympic weeks to make up for it. friends... you hit the number ***BEFORE THE OPENING CEREMONY*** can't thank you enough

the biathlon crowd is cheering after every successful shot like they're hammered brits watching The Darts