Philadelphia Area Dads release joint statement: “We are going to ruin the holiday for everyone.”

He needs Congressional approval for this, so Democrats should say they won’t let it pass through the Senate unless it’s tied to a War Powers Resolution to end the war and ensure gas prices stabilize.

The only upshot for the Sixers right now is that Morey's whole team building philosophy is irrefutably dead He got the "six man rotation vs deep bench squad" upset he wanted, and it just left his team so exhausted and battered they were effortlessly swept aside in the next round

draft lottery day

Home game, Embiid active, OG out; this is an elimination game as far as I’m concerned. Either win it or just forfeit tonight.

Like it’s hard not to just give into the “screw it, let’s Balkanize” argument.

The only semi-interesting part of this hantavirus discussion is finding out a huge percentage of people have just invented an alternative history where COVID either came out of nowhere or that the medical community actively tried to downplay and dismiss it.

Is there a statistical counterargument to giving Edmundo Sosa some games at 3B or is it just that it'll obviously wreck whatever is left of Bohm's psyche?

decided I’m rooting for the Wings this WNBA season because I believe in love, basketball, and Arike Ogunbowale.

Hindsight is 20/20 but the decision to try to play Embiid at like 30% on Monday rather than just give him some rest and shoot for Game 2 probably cost them this series.

san francisco giants medical staff:

Ted Turner was the gold standard for that breed of quasi-insane but generally harmless rich guys America used to have but don’t really exist anymore.

The new Iran war strategy is just to leak a “US and Iran are on verge of a peace deal” headline every other week and just hope the Iranians are like “Oh damn, we are? Okay” this time.

I love living in the dumbest time to be alive.

VIROLOGIST: “It’s bizarre, Hantavirus almost never jumps from human to human like this. Usually it’s from coming into contact with rat feces or something.” CRUISE SHIP CHEF: “Yeah, that’s crazy, it must’ve mutated or something.”

“What watching the Sixers and Flyers tonight taught me about which Google search terms give you a ‘Help is available’ result”

Every Knicks playoff win is a huge night for the kid who sold you the most junk weed of your life in 11th grade.

The Phillies won their game today and that’s what went wrong. They need to go back on a ten game losing streak to rebalance things.

In all honesty you should just send Embiid to the locker room with “hip soreness” and try to regroup for Game 2. You’re just adding mileage at this point.

Look, it's easy to get carried away with sports and let emotions get out of hand. But it's important to remember that being a fan of the New York Knicks is, in fact, a moral failing, and will extend the time one's soul suffers through Saṃsāra, possibly by several lifetimes.

“The Sixers are completely gassed and still keeping it a singe digit game on the road while the Knicks shoot 64%” is your glass half full look right now.

The Knicks are doing this for Rudy Giuliani.

someone tell me if KAT is okay so I can complain about how there was no foul there

"Does the universe enjoy laughing at the Sixers or the Knicks more" is kind of an open question so I guess we'll see how this series goes.

no one at the met gala even brought a bat, no wonder they’re 12-22

Wait I thought the Flyers started at 730 what do you mean it’s 2-0

if Zohran does one cutesy “Go Knicks!” video where he mentions Embiid I’m calling him a CIA plant that’s deradicalizing the proletariat

Absolutely classic Everton

My gut feeling is that the Sixers need this to be the VJ Edgecombe series against the Knicks. Like, he doesn't need to be the best player for them, but he's gotta be above just "oh, he's playing good for a rookie". He's the X-factor for this.

Alito signing the order is the biggest “Don’t start this six months before midterms, you idiots” signal imaginable

if the Flyers get swept by Carolina that really just embarrasses Pittsburgh even more if you think about it.

I know I am mentally ill because Jayson Tatum being ruled out tonight terrifies me.

The best case scenario is the Sixers winning tonight. The funniest scenario is Tatum getting ruled out, Brown rallying the team to win Game 7, and then the Celtics losing to the Knicks in the next round with Tatum back so we can watch the Boston locker room discourse.

semi-drunk and watching old Community episodes but I honestly don’t think any other sitcom has ever had a moment like this; I think about it all the time

Game 7 pregaming starts now

I regret to inform everyone in Philadelphia and Boston that “win Game 7 against the Celtics, lose the next the next round agains the Knicks in five games” is the new most Sixers outcome

Philadelphia after Rob Thomson was fired for some reason

No matter what happens in Game 7, the Sixers ruined for Friday for everyone in Boston and I think that’s beautiful.

Sixers Eagles 🤝 “oh no, they have a lead”

If you weren't around for it, this is what watching the Jimmy Butler Sixers felt like until The Event ™

“Paul George no look pass to the cutting VJ Edgecombe for a slam dunk and a 15 point lead” none of those words are in the Bible but I’m writing them in

Joel Embiid with his barely healed scar tissue when there’s a loose ball at half court with 0.9 seconds left on the clock:

rooting for the Phillies to lose in the 9th inning so the Sixers can have a chance

He’s running and the Democratic field in 2028 isn’t going to be nearly as crowded as you think it will because no one is going to want to get in the way.

Incredibly smart to go in the “new guy whose story is concurrent with the established plot” direction rather than try to distill RE2’s batshit into a two hour clip no matter how mad hardcore fans get.

For the next round Gritty will unfortunately have to throw Glenn Schwartz onto the ice like he did to the penguin.

Janet Mills can still win the primary if Maine Senate President Mattie Daughtry has the courage.

[78 SCORELESS MINUTES OF PLAYOFF HOCKEY] cam york for some reason:

It’s now or never, Flyers.