Basically the con of being a Borrower (4" tall person with normal intelligence but proportionally smaller strength) is the cats eating you. The pro is when you steal pills you can get seriously fucked up for a long time.

'Try Hard' is back, now in video form: defector.com/try-hard-is-...

Before every devastating burn he says, evenly, "I'm Scott Pelley."

it's always fun to join the landsmen @davidjroth.bsky.social @kleinman.bsky.social and woman @mauraquint.bsky.social (and @mobute.bsky.social) to discuss the fate of jews in the hallmark cineromantic universe as it circles back to the usual place of "assimilated but distinctly annoying."

SQUAWKIN SPORTS XXII 6/11 HUNTING BIGFOOT EDITION JOIN @davidjroth.bsky.social @giano.bsky.social John O’Connor As we got Squatching in between DAY ONE WORLD CUP GAMES AT DSK!!!! Huge sweaty stinky hairy animals unite! @greenlightbklyn.bsky.social Tix: shorturl.at/GqNMD

/to the tune of "Eminence Front" by The Who "Rosamund Pike"

This is what every 28yo dude I meet looks like now. Once again we have to hand it to him.

If you do all this stuff against Liberty University it is actually constitutionally protected free speech in my opinion.

Jeb set out to remove all the crosstalk from the star-studded minyan of @ugarles.bsky.social, @mauraquint.bsky.social, and @kleinman.bsky.social and the result is a Hannukah-themed episode that came out in late May. Funny ep, though! Apple: bit.ly/4fmo9hL YouTube: www.youtube.com/watch?v=SGJq...

Cops busting through a barricade that they set up is pretty tough to misinterpret.

This remains my operative statement on Victor Wembanyama at this time.

I take Jared's point but it's pretty easy to make effective reactionary genre movies. There were dozens released every year in the '80s and '90s, and some of them were decently good and/or widely seen. Craig Zahler makes them today. These guys are just unpleasant nerds who are bad at everything.

Vibecheck time: all goo! @mauraquint.bsky.social talks to boys @ugarles.bsky.social & @kleinman.bsky.social. We remember some wet guys, Master Blaster and Summer School for Hanukkah. Zero Jews or Catholics were harmed or consulted! Apple: bit.ly/4fmo9hL Spotify: bit.ly/4u3o7Pi Amazon: bit.ly/43I7gqo

Once again: German universities were the envy of the world before the Nazis rose to power and took an ideological wrecking ball to the entire enterprise. If you want to know how long it took for German universities to recover… they haven’t.

coffee: the bean juice

We had a really good conversation about a brilliant, unsettling, and unsettlingly prescient book. My proposed headline, "Let's Dismember Some Guys," was justifiably rejected. defector.com/the-universa...

what to get the man who has everything but his kids’ current addresses and phone numbers

Bro everyone in this administration is clutching a 6 pack of mikes hard lemonade and having a tense conversation with Chris Hansen

"kelly olynyk has entered the game"

Game 1 of Thunder/Spurs was one of the best games I've ever seen and I'm still fully down for as much more of this as I can get but it's remarkable how much Jordan McLaughlin Time and Olynyk Mode this series has offered in every game since.

What a delight it was to talk to one of the writers I admire most about the Bing Bong Lifestyle, the sorrows of a lifelong Knicks fan, and how it feels to cheer for a team playing all the way out of its mind. defector.com/the-lost-cit...

idk why everyone is complaining, i think it's cool that they are building the ship from CONTACT (1997) on the white house lawn. the liberal media says it won't work again but they are IGNORING that approximately 18 hours of static was recorded on that fateful day. explain THAT

I wrote about it here for @thenation.com. CBS doesn't care if they lose Colbert's audience, they want to build a new apolitical one. www.thenation.com/article/cult...

I wrote about the Jets making Microsoft Copilot a big part of their front office processes, and what bosses actually want from this kind of oaf-mode AI gambit. defector.com/the-new-york...

lots of reasons I love working at Defector but the latest is that we decided to increase our freelance rates, simply because they’ve been the same for 5 years and it felt like we should be paying more now

Students for Trump co-founder arrested on domestic violence charges, allegedly yelled “Do you want to die today?”

If being able to talk in some detail about Sam Hurd and Matthew Hatchette is a qualification to serve in Congress, I will answer the call and move back in with my parents to run against Josh Gottheimer. I will steamroll that chump. I will bring Todd Pinkston onstage to sing the national anthem.

Returning to the military hospital for my quarterly annual physical. A bunch of new doctors want to watch me do the cognitive test that demonstrates I absolutely shouldn't get my driver's license taken away. Obviously the word has gotten around that I'm doing some incredible work there.

VORDUL MEGA

SCHWEEN ROAST, featuring music from: Jackson Perkins, Perkins Jackson, Ivar Mectin, Trav, Trav-Trav, Travis von Travis, Brumpo Tungus, Gwot Moab, Torrrrrrrv!

Congratulations to World Series Champion and five-time Gold Glove winner Mark Teixeira on his congressional primary victory in Texas, and good luck in his next adventure—regularly being photographed in a big dumb hat and voting for every stupid thing Donald Trump wants. defector.com/mark-teixeir...

Kevin Hart is the first guy to get addicted to being in commercials for gambling.

For far too long, this country has been governed by people who were either unable or simply unwilling to post brief videos of themselves being bitten multiple times by snakes that they had just picked up for some reason,

if you’re like me and somehow never saw the JJ Putz thing, here you go. it is amazing.

these were the first two posts i got the last time i opened threads

any time i’ve seen the clip of dan soder and will sasso doing “macho man reads charles manson quotes” over the last few days i lose my mind. soder’s chappelle impression is delightful, too.

It's a remarkable achievement for the Enhanced Games to stand out as a wack and worthless dud even when considered alongside other Classic Libertarian Ideas. apnews.com/article/enha...

lmfao

These are the two optimal types of Baseball Name.

alternate episode title: Now Parge the Paste with @davidjroth.bsky.social

/Kiwi Accent "Victor Wembanyama. Wemby."

There was a time when we used to do Booty Had Me Like posts. A more innocent age, and one that feels very far gone.

Guy with visible stink lines: the birth rate,

Anyways I'm too busy to get to the wedding Don junior. Working on some documents.

I wrote a real 2013-style bit about Tom Brady and the weird grim work of being a Retired Icon last week, and was reminded of how much I miss writing that kind of thing. We had a nice time over at The Awl, in the last moments of whatever that was. This is a gift link: defector.com/tom-brady-th...

Up at Flaming Hydra: me on the sublime false consciousness of sports fan glory, Arsenal's agonizing win, and a hint of my own navigation of dysfunctional family, masculinty, and class through my beloved club. flaminghydra.com/issue-571/

“so what’s your take?” “the city of New York must pay me $1 million cash in the next hour and I will kill one person for every minute they are late” “100% disagree”

A lot of you are missing the most obvious follow-up angle to this: If and when Don Jr.'s ex-wife ties the knot with Tiger Woods, there is no chance in the world the big man is missing that one