DODGERS [right as the Giants are about to announce that they’ve developed a Quad Pooser]: we’ve signed Quint Pooser to a $500 million contract

The logical endpoint of the American conservative political impulse: pissy HOA behaviors + death squads of otherwise unemployable gun chuds. It's all been leading up to this baby.

I was really spoiled for options here, but I stand by my choice.

Air Quality Index on my weather app currently just says "it looks like The French Connection outside."

A delightful time talking to Justin Halpern, one of the great podcast guests, about both the San Diego Padres and writing genre fiction with Rob Deer-inspired characters in it. (There is also a very good Ozzie Canseco story in here.) defector.com/a-rob-deer-m...

For a movement as hung up on The Masculine Virtues as these donkeys it's striking how dedicated they are to avoiding responsibility for anything they do or any of the consequences of those actions. Going through life on the verge of tears, looking for someone else to blame—now that's MAN.

One of my favorite stories we've run on Defector in a while. defector.com/trans-girl-b...

This Repo Man trivia makes Harry Dean Stanton sound like a Clickhole version of himself

With all due respect to how disgusting and perverse the news itself reliably is, there's something especially bracing and weird about how every stupid story out of the Trump administration reveals what the dipshit weirdos in these high offices are thinking about and doing instead of those jobs.

the food safety stuff is another reminder that a large, huge, gigantic part of being a republican is going “lmao why are we spending money to prevent horrifying disasters from happening if they never happen 🤪”

Explaining the broad strokes of Seth Harp's "The Fort Bragg Cartel" to a furiously nodding A-Rod.

read a lot of papers about diarrheas for this one 😖 defector.com/why-the-expl...

Really good blog here. defector.com/how-cycling-...

In memoriam Sam Neill. Here's the episode of TWIA where @mobute.bsky.social @davidjroth.bsky.social and I talked about The Horse Whisperer. It's not a starring role but the cold open and a 5-6 minute section starting at the one hour mark about his character are the great segments I remember most.

/to the tune of Band On The Run "Pain at the pump."

Trying to extract rents when you can't even guarantee security is such a good bit. The Jackie Aprile Jr. presidency

blogged it defector.com/lindsey-grah...

OFFICIAL: Sen. Mitch McConnell's team has confirmed that he WILL be participating in the Home Run Derby during the MLB All-Star festivities.

It's funny how readily certain tranches of the chud community are baited into melting down about Mamdani. Zooming around like they're chasing a damn laser pointer. Huffing and puffing at Cornholio intensity at the mere prospect of being slighted. Undignified.

Lindsey Graham got the diarrhea and died. "There was nothing left when he was done," said an aide. "Now we have to try to put the diarrhea back in so we can bury something three dimensional," he added. RFK Jr. is going to give kids in school diarrhea to honor Lindsey Graham and make them stronger.

Can't wait to find out which highly volatile, obviously insane suburban alcoholic will succeed Principled Statesman Lindsey Graham in tge Senate and cast exactly the same votes.

victory lapping on this one

Really hoping for a shot of Argentina's little libertarian elf president in the crowd. Show me that freak doing air guitar for some reason while looking like rockabilly Dudley Moore.

Conceptualizing an English announcer who yells "M8888888" like Andres Cantor yells "goooal" whenever someone scores.

We were stopped at a traffic light yesterday behind a guy in a pickup who had a whole nude foot, with a toe ring, hanging out the driver's side window, while he was driving. If I stipulate that I was not in Florida, you should already know that there were some New Hampshire plates on that truck.

New @junkfilterpod.bsky.social: at 34 years old, she became the governor of the state she was born and raised in. And now her life is a movie. Of course I’m referring to ELLA MCCAY. My guest? @mobute.bsky.social. CW: The sex scarf scene is discussed. podcasts.apple.com/ca/podcast/j...

SQUAWKIN’ SPORTS LIVE XXIII: TENNIS TOO EDITION 8/25 7PM We packed it out on main last year, let’s do it again. Full lineup TBD but for sure @juliekliegman.com @mattfutterman.bsky.social @the2ndserve.bsky.social swag @davidjroth.bsky.social and the finest FG tennis folk. Tix: shorturl.at/ipUYI

New from me: flaminghydra.com/issue-602/

Going down the Who Is From Maine list to see who will answer the call. Is Anna Kendrick ready to serve? How about uh former Orioles utilityman Ryan Flaherty?

For the better part of a year, I've been looking into the night LaGuardia Airport was bombed. I'd appreciate it if you'd give it a read. slate.com/news-and-pol...

There was a dark manosphere guy who posted about the predatory male drive to smoke cigars and own Lamborghinis on Twitter like a decade ago who when he liked a tweet he would screenshot it and post a picture of himself pointing at it and smiling,

Working up my scouting report for every male lead in a Hallmark movie.

If I may do some Peggy Noonan Stuff real quick, I saw multiple Jackson for Governor yard signs in the midcoast earlier today that had been hand-altered into Jackson for Senate signs.

/rolling my eyes and stomping around like Paul Rudd in Wet Hot American Summer "Sorry I said the lying sexual assault troop shithead was 'the final and long overdue reckoning for Smoothgroin Liberalism' on X dot com."

this is so stupid defector.com/is-it-mitch-...

This is what I wrote about Platner back in October of 2025, and I think it holds up okay. The popular movement that grew around him in Maine is real and inspiring, the guy himself was always fugazy at best. At this point I just hope the former outlasts the latter. defector.com/what-job-is-...

2:12am .... going back for more olive

The best time to be a Democrat is when you're daydreaming about which good candidates could replace your current, bad one

Taking a break from doing garish corruption to shoehorn myself into whatever topic is captivating public attention that day. Everyone loves it and they're saying so more and more

Tapping my wrist impatiently to signal that I am fully ready for the James Corden World Cup Postgame Program to start. Let's get to the good stuff!

Great day in DC. Drinking a $25 glass of raw milk and listening to a Drowning Pool cover band. Earlier, Steven Crowder asked me to body slam him while he was dressed like Greta Thunberg for some reason. Again! Again! He kept demanding. EPIC!

I think part of the reason the Trump hardos want to stand on the Mall in a rainstorm is that like a third of that cohort has been struck by lightning at least once and dug it. "Actually cured my diabetes," they hoot at but not quite to each other as the Black Rifle Coffee Pavillion erupts in flames.

Ha ha I hate it here

Smoking on that shit that makes you Gary for the rest of your life

I hear America singing.

Business idea: algorithmic-style Dynamic Pricing at restaurants. You can get French onion soup for $1.75 when it's really hot out, but a tomato salad costs $57 in August. Everyone hates it; Softbank has already contributed $150m in funding just off the concept.

[going up to Taylor Swift's dad] fuckin, thanks for the open bar man, you must be so proud

Feel like it's been a particularly strong run of work on the site of late. I'd like to point out a few pieces that are worth checking out, both free and worth subscribing to: