"LeVert a little Casanova on the finish there" What does that mean lol

if u have a mustard u like add a bit of that in too. powder works but the sauce is better imo. if u like spice do some red pepper or chili flake too. n dont skimp on the relish or celery. im a tuna salad expert ok

Gonna try to find all this stuff at Hmart without asking for help...wish me luck

I like how every CVS display is like, "Wish your mom a happy Mother's Day.. with a soccer ball"

So used to social media where "void" is referencing someone's black cat that it's startling to see it used conventionally. Internet poisoning myself in a specific way

Crazy how the gay scientists from Arcane still hit. Perpetual ship

The doctor thinks I'm giving birth, but unbeknownst to him, I'm about to execute a delightful update to the classic "snakes in a can" prank

Trying to impress a date by explaining that I went to the same school as Tony Soprano's therapist

The algorithm is convinced I really care about Invincible. Not sure how this happened

Was... a referee gonna fight the coach

A Julius and Anthony back court, call it a Minnesota diumvirate

Appealing to his child bride by turning himself into a squishmallow

Old tweets

Wemby's little mad face

Vertigo, but getting dizzy from suddenly remembering how much evil's in the world

ME: team rocket will never steal these rare Pokémon! Not unless they wanna take on me and my fully evolved Miss Cigarettes! MISS CIGARETTES: miss cigarettes

The haters said we couldn’t afford our groceries. And they were correct. Honestly great call from the haters

Round 1: Chaos. Insanity. World upside-down Round 2: Boring? Conference Finals: Let's fucking go Finals: Boring again... maybe

it is so much more satisfying to beat a person half your age at sports as it is to beat someone twice your age that these 19 year olds don't even understand that simply by accepting my challenge to play ball, they have already lost

Afterschool Fail: Idiot Millennial Teacher Reading Storybook Stumbles Over Word "Pinochle"

There once was a man from Nantucket And his life was hell, frankly

Telling a child not to throw sticks at me. Child tries to divert conversation into one about intentionality. Too wise to fall for it

Never getting over kittens that look like this. They don't know how they're alive, either

Sometimes living in a city is fun and sometimes it's feeling a strange amount of social pressure to see a bunch of local bands playing outside in the rain

Virginia's top court declares state now for haters exclusively. Lovers will be shot on sight

Grasshopper with crimson arcs

"Virginia's top court" Sounds fake. I wouldn't listen to those guys. Get a real job, and so on

We need to hug and kiss Bluesky moderators.

I'm not afraid of hantavirus. The rodents and I have an agreement

unkillable,,, babyyyy

I don't think zone is working

I go on huge walks almost every day but it’s never to “clear my head.” Half the fun is it goes absolutely crazy up there

Mitch Hedberg if he got shrunk down to the size of a bug: Rice is great when you're hungry and want one of something

Daryl Morey is a liar

I'll watch any Dodo video. I'm not strong, man. If that kitten starts off in the dumpster, I'm not satisfied until it's purring next to an expensive guitar

McCain shouldn't be on OKC. It's cheating. It's bullshit

Saw the cloud that looks like a skeleton jacking off again

While I don’t respect what he did with Resident Evil as a director I absolutely bow down to what he did with Resident Evil as a Wife Worshipper.

insane thing to say when jalen duren exists

She's so real to me

lebron james- it is up to you to minimize the amount of time i am bored tonight. the stakes have never been higher

Gonna watch this Lakers OKC game until things get out of hand

Did you ever see the series of shorts he did with Boban Marjanovic? Incredibly endearing youtu.be/135zjmv82jQ?...

I am biased because he was a Minnesota local announcer lol but I love him and saw him do a vinyl dj set at a jazz bar last year lmao

Tobias Harris: good

I can't tell if Michael Grady is a good announcer or not. Is he a little corny? Or am I too afraid of cringe