Supreme Court spewing out concentrated evil on a monthly basis like a sewage pipe

Compare Alito's description of Trump's racist statements (on the left) to Justice Kagan's anthology of Trump's racist statements (on the right). These are passages from this morning's opinions in Mullin v. Doe.

Disbanding this armed gang has to be a top priority for any Democratic president

I can say I'm old. I can complain daily about my busted decrepit carcass and that everything hurts all the time. You however are not allowed to call me old

This country needs an active communist party if only to teach everyone to properly place people on the ideological spectrum

Generally speaking, polls have shown the Democratic Party's problem is not being seen as too woke, but weak and ineffective. Judging by tonight's primary results, Democratic Primary voters are intent on fixing this www.gelliottmorris.com/p/new-poll-d...

If you build enough "aura" you can do bad bits and the audience will still eat them up. I called a guy on Jeopardy "Grandpa Tuesday" like 3 years ago and my fiance still remembers it

(hissing in his ear) JD Vance vandalized the reflecting pool, sire! He means to usurp you!

I hate when people overreact to my actions. They should react the amount I believe is correct

Low-key liberal accomplishments coupled with high-profile policy concessions to the right and aggressive conservative virtue signalling — this is exactly the strategy moderates have recommended for Democrats here, of course. Didn't work too well. Maybe some lessons there.

Stress is good for you because it gets your heart rate up

Important reminder: it is "father's day" not "good father's day" you are not excused from honoring bad fathers and they deserve the exact same amount of love and appreciation ❤️

Every history book about this government will have a subtitle that's some variation of They Should've Just Left That Alone

Trump just wants to be on the side of the winner so it makes sense he's fully pro Iran now

According to a test I took on genius dot com I'm too smart to ever fall for confirmation bias

The best part of having a wife is that there's someone in your house that you can do really terrible bits at whenever you want

Stories about awakening an ancient evil are always a guy in an old tomb or whatever but in a few hundred years it could be a guy clicking around on an early computer. Computer Ghost is my intellectual property. Hollywood do not steal

Despite my many complaints about our country I'm an optimist about it. Did you know bidets are getting more popular here? There's hope for us. First we will fix our Asses, then we will fix our hearts

Victor Wembanyama at the postgame press conference (dejected): This one's on me. I gotta get taller

How long it takes and how hard it is to undo the damage will depend in large part on the political will of the people elected to do it. If you get hand-wringing caveat peddlers who want to deliberate for years before acting it'll never happen. Plan has to be ready on day one

If you over-regulate capitalism you get totalitarian communism. If you under-regulate capitalism you get a ruling caste of insane monopolists. Please ignore the fact that one of these things has never happened and the other keeps happening over and over

So tired of blacking out every full moon when I really want to stay up and help the townsfolk hunt for the werewolf

You can go a little loopy if you begin thinking of yourself as a Political Operative simply because you post about politics. This is why it's so important to drop an occasional grounding post like "The brain is the ass of the head" to remind yourself that you are just some guy

I will never participate in a "group chat" on social media. That's basically a work meeting

Here I go again on my phone

I think you need Mamdani levels of optimism about government to rebuild everything these assholes have broken but not necessarily his sunny disposition. Let's get some grumps in there too. Curmudgeons who are mad all the time but at the right people

If I were a coach I would occasionally say to the referees "You're right we did commit a foul there" instead of arguing all the time. This builds my credibility as an objective interlocutor in their minds

I like the shot clock in basketball, they should have that for work zoom meetings

Conservative Supergirl movie where she's trad and her cape is an apron. Also instead of some woke actress she's portrayed by courageous truth teller Kevin Sorbo

Someone should create an economic system that incentivizes the production of useful goods and services instead of scams and swindles

this is my kind of company motto right here

Guy at the bar last night had an extremely old persian cat who was a big hit with everyone. Before leaving he reassured me that they come there often in case I ever want to see the cat again. Then they got on his motorcycle together and vroomed off. There's hope for this country yet

I would never do "ass play." That sounds frivolous and I am an adult. If I'm doing anything it's ass work

This is good but the main thing is: these guys don't want to make art -- they want to *have made art.* They want people to look at the art they can't bother making and praise and respect them for it. Because generally they feel they deserve the world's respect without doing anything to earn it.

the fact is these democratic governors do not have actual control over their own state police forces, and that’s a seriously scary problem that no elected wants to talk about or deal with

Doctor (to patient's family): I'm so sorry...bro is cooked

It's time to Get Tough on innocent people. They've been coddled long enough

"let people enjoy things" is over. we must want things to be good

I quit my job to make artisan chocolate and here’s my pineapple caramels I did a nice job on them

Hello I am the president of a country whose economy depends on consumer spending. My two major initiatives so far have been a sales tax on everything and then a war that sent all prices skyrocketing

The problem with Bluesky, a website where people are constantly arguing and correcting each other, is that everyone thinks identically

Doordash only became essential after women joined the workforce, leaving men no other way to obtain food. But nobody wants to talk about that

Kind of feel like we especially don’t need fancy law explainers at the moment. “Can the president just take money when he wants?” A third grader could answer this. A Yale law prof is likelier to write the wrong answer so their 2L can work for Alito

Billionaires must be targeted with tax policy and antitrust policy not because it helps everyone else (though it does) but because their political power must be limited so they can't wreck the world the way they're currently doing

(getting convicted of a crime i committed) The government is being weaponized against me

I GET LOGGED OUT. BUT I LOG IN AGAIN

It's kind of ironic that Democrats think they're acting responsibly by tamping down this kind of justified anger instead of channeling it, but it's really the opposite. Leads to disaffection, radicalization