Our jihad against antisocial assholes has begun

You should know I'm not fascinated by the keys you're jingling in front of me because I'm a baby. It's intellectual for me. I'm contemplating the nature of the keys

I had to check and he really did say that lol

Thriller movie about a guy who builds a time machine and then all he does is go back 30 years to buy a house

Modern technology could learn from older stuff that does what it's supposed to and doesn't bother you. My toilet just works and never sends me emails like "Good news! Flush® is now Floosh®"

We've come a long way but it still seems like most big time charlatans are men. We need more Women In Fraud

Bert and Ernie should have their own show. I don't want to have to watch Sesame Street to see what they're up to. I'm not 5

The entire right wing ecosystem, from politics to media to business, is just for-profit contrarianism. The formula is: they name a real shortcoming of the imperfect status quo and once they got you they sell you horseshit that's much, much worse

It's enough to make you crazy to watch our entire media-political apparatus ridicule all left of center opinion in the leadup to every major crisis in the last 30 years only to then shrug about how no one could've seen it coming

Really sums up a favorite right wing grievance: what's offensive here aren't my actions, but your accurate descriptions of them

This is just millennial culture. Millennials love paying rent

i see a horse has won the kentucky derby again. this is beginning to feel rigged

Anytime I see a post with a dozen caveats and preambles attached I know that's someone who's been scarred by accidentally going viral

trying to play peekaboo with my child but he's a European diplomat: me: where'd daddy go? baby: we must articulate a post-daddy vision of strategic autonomy me: peekaboo! baby: my historic relationship with my father is stable despite recent troubles

One of the things that forever rattles around in my brain is how in 2014 every corporate brand went insane and started posting like a teen on twitter

This website is a distant second as far as where I log on to get pissed off. #1 by far is Zillow

No matter where I go- work, the grocery store, even just on the street- I hear one thing from people: we need a ballroom

kfc in my small town has started halving their chicken breasts and selling it as a 2-piece. Multiple people have brought this up to me in the past week. It is quite literally the talk of the town. Someone called into the radio station about it and said it should be burned down with the owner inside

Even in terms of pure rhetoric I think the story of the year is that ordinary people--many of whom weren't previously very politically engaged--are furious, while professional politicians very much aren't. Just listen to basically anyone who lives in Minneapolis for 5 minutes

All the warnings about a sedentary lifestyle don't apply to me because I'm lying down most of the time and that's different. There isn't even science about that

One of the funny things about shoving this stuff into every workplace with no understanding of how it works or its limitations is we've finally answered the age old rhetorical question "Do you want it done fast or done right" with "Oh fast, absolutely"

The main thing in art and entertainment to keep your finger on the pulse of the fans and what they want, their feedback is so important.

Why would a ROBOT have an ACCENT. Talking about the terminator movie. Sorry this is about 40 years late I've been busy

social media was a wonderful brain toilet for every random half thought you didn't want to bother real people with before they decided to move all of society and infrastructure and government inside of the toilet

Rich guy grievance is so pathetic. Retaliating against my unprovoked abuse is the real abuse. Lashing out and then crying as official national policy

That thing they do in marketing where a website asks if you want to sign up for whatever and the choices are "YES!" and "No, I'm a stupid little baby" I'll go ahead and click the stupid baby button. Nice try but I don't care

Calm down, computer software isn't making decisions about who lives and who dies in war. It merely processes a ton of data and then makes a recommendation to a human who has no realistic way to verify it

Some lunatic just called my phone (strike 1) and left a "voice mail" (strike 2) in which he failed to fully state his business, suggesting I must call him back to get the whole story. Are you out of your damn mind. Furthermore it is the sabbath

Opening an incognito window and searching "What are some normal things to do on the weekend"

i have a false tooth filled with a placebo in case i'm ever captured and need to be a control subject

The political history of the U.S. since the 1970s is basically that thing where a species' predator disappears and the species overpopulates and destroys the whole habitat. If centrists really wanted a "Normal" right, their top priority would be to bring back the left

The website has suffered a DDoS (doo doo ass) attack

Street Fighter movie looks silly, as it should. No more gritty video game movies. I don't need to watch Crash Bandicoot dealing with real problems. Trying to get custody of his kids or whatever

As someone who doesn't want children the only thing that could change my mind is if a weird guy on the internet told me I should

Destreamerization. The elimination of streamers as a class

Energy policy think tanks keep putting out proposals like "give Mark Zuckerberg sole control over our utility rates by making him America's next grid czar" and the people in Everytown, America are like "go ahead and fuckin try"

I maintain that among the media's biggest mistakes has been continuing to ask Trump questions as if he's a normal guy instead of asking things like "Can you explain who Jesus is" or "Describe the process of pumping gas"

I think another reason many Americans Feel Bad About the Economy: There is a constant barrage of information indicating to the casual observer that people who run scams and lie and refuse to play by the rules aren't just going unpunished, they're *making way more money than you are* as a result.

A major problem we have is that too many powerful and influential people believe (at least subconsciously) that America is somehow magically insulated from decline and collapse. But whatever our Greatness it was achieved through policy choices and can be undone by other choices. It's happening now!

It's funny that Trump called Iran tough negotiators because he said "Give up your only two points of leverage forever" and they said "no"

i love when i log into something and it tells me some shit like Notification Hub is now Alert Village

As little as I already thought of the man I'm in awe of what he's accomplished in 15 short months. Historic run. Basically threw away all his fire extinguishers and told every firefighter in town to eat shit, and then set his house on fire. We need a separate Mount Rushmore for morons

"Complex carbohydrate" what's that a french fry with feelings

Setting aside all other questions about impeachment, the idea that trying it against a president everybody hates would be a political *loser* for the opposition party is preposterous. Just say you don't want to work! It's more relatable

Running for office and only ever referring to the guy I'm running against as my "slopponent"

If we somehow got an aggressive liberal president they'd be constantly accused of "Trump-like tactics" and they should start practicing now how to say "Yeah I did that and it was good." The familiar cautious approach full of self limiting caveats and hand wringing would be a failure

"i could probably pilot a ship through the straight of hormuz" -next big thing 80% of men secretly believe about themselves

Me, an atheist: Your holiness I stand ready to join the crusade against these heretics

"If you remove him you get Vance." You're familiar with Donald J Trump's foreign policy where we remove a country's leaders one by one until we get to one we can do business with? No reason impeachment can't work the same way