They called it Waymo bc there’s way mo’ car accidents ?

Get a load of this guy: (it me)

No way

Mouthwash BEFORE toothpaste. Toothpaste is the lotion of the teeth. Are u writing this down

Tired: Die Hard is a Christmas movie Wired: The Shining is a Christmas movie

I might actually watch one of these football games if instead of football it was singing and instead of football players it was Olivia rodrigo

Posting pho

Yall were talking about kalshi so evil and I’ve been thinking it’s these divas

This is constantly happening. A paramilitary force is violently enforcing second-class status for nonwhite people the United States with the support of police forces across the country. Sure, ICE must be abolished, but so must every institution that supports such brutality. & this cannot be reformed

If you disrespect me even once I will send such unrelenting hateful energy to you that could feasibly blow up your house

My fiance just heard now for the first time (from me) that Leo dicaprio is gay

New outfit!

We need chocolate peppermint stuff year round

Do you keep bread in the fridge or on the counter ? Or a secret third place

TRUMP [after spending 5 minutes with Zohran]: surplus value, it’s a very wonderful thing, very wonderful, and they’re stealing it. Can you believe that? We’re going to be looking very strongly at the bourgeoisie, what they’re up to

Pope rave, trump mamdani enemies to lovers arc, a lot going on for a Friday

Yes women did ruin the workplace the government should pay us to stay home and get lunch with our friends

It should be acceptable to interrupt the other person in a conversation if what you have to say is more interesting

I see you’ve chosen to proceed through the intersection even though I have the right of way. Interesting! I hope your house burns down

They used to be so much meaner on DWTS now they’re giving Andy richter 7s for not meeting god on the dance floor

There was a couple dressed as a priest and a demon and I said my culture is not your costume (catholic) and my bf goes “what culture? Demons?”

Thought of a good Xmas gift for my fiance I wish I could tell him about it

Well she wants to live her life 😀 then she thinks about her life 😕

I think someone over here forgot to genuflect on the way in

{waking up in the hospital after my kidney transplant} where is two time academy award nominee Jesse eisenberg Doctor: who do you think gave you the kidney

HAHAHAHH big client donated to that fuck ass ballroom and then the White House immediately turned around and acted in their exact worst interest

Just got home from the taping of Robby Hoffmans special. She’s a star and I can’t believe they’re putting that on netflix

I love when dems are like “yeah sure everyone would love if we could have a cool, hot, young mayor with popular ideas but that’s not reality you will take these disgusting serial sex criminals because we live in the REAL WORLD”

Ikyfl

GAGGGGED THAT OLD BITCH LMFAO

Made a “big movie deal” in my house which is when I promise to pay attention to the whole movie

You wonder why I haven’t deleted Twitter yet I get max 2 likes on here always and one is my fiance. You guys don’t get me

Ok my Q anon belief is taylor sold her likeness and all IP to private equity and the entire thing including the concept of “Travis kelce” is AI generated

I want a third gigantic cat. Just greedy at this point

Taylor swift is washed we used to pray for times like this

I don’t know how to not be a condescending cunt in conversations about politics with people when I’m basing my argument on stuff that’s real and they’re basing theirs on stuff that’s made up

My bf and my dad

I’m constantly saying out of pocket shit and pissing people off, and this is fun for me

I have no idea what white people are talking about right now. The warnings that the fascists will "use this" to do more violence. WHAT WON'T THEY USE? You've watched them deploy the US military on US soil using bullshit pretexts. What even are you talking about?

Disgusting poors trying to convince us proud capitalists that they should be able to afford things such as “house” and “baby”

Lady at the doctors office told me she was so jealous I can wear baggy pants because she’s so tiny they just swallow her up

Amanda Knox and Monica Lewinsky producing a tv show together ?? Mother convention

Used to go on YouTube to watch true crime now I’m on there watching good mythical morning

And it’s bonkers to me that people think so-called AI is a good thing to add to the mix at this point in time

You know, I’m not surprised that the people who have been bringing us “alternative facts” for like a decade now are planning to share fake jobs numbers and tariffs numbers and Smithsonian museum exhibits but it does scare the shit out of me how much they’re intent on destroying our shared reality

I don’t care about fame or fortune I just want an army of online psychos to sic on my enemies

I’ve been preaching the Olivia Rodrigo gospel for years I was in the trenches when it was just me and tweens getting pummeled by swifties! And now you respect her bc she got blessed by Robert smith and weezer I just hope you never forget that governmenthoe put you on 🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️