Guy pretending to be human: The future is adolescent banking, the future is in eggs, egg bank for teens, gambling actual eggs on current events

While looking for a different pic in my phone I found these two tweets I made in 2020 which still stand up

When you’re in a Sweet and sour sauce will be poured on before serving contest and your challenger looks like this

My bluesky on my phone is not letting me do drafts which is fine bc I just post shit without looking at it or thinking about it and it’s always true

Yeah but they’re being left behind in the “computer gives you wrong answer” and “computer makes child porn and revenge porn” and “pocket chatbot causes psychosis and deaths of despair” and “internet is filled with slop and misinformation” markets where the US is kick their asses 🇺🇸🦅🗽

I’m old enough to remember my whole life cops protecting Nazis marching through cities and beating the shit out of protestors, including every year of the last decade,

It’s funny bc I always thing of this miserable Nazi talking about “extending the light of man’s consciousness to the stars” a line he no doubt lifted from somewhere but also we’ve seen his unfiltered consciousness on display for years and I don’t even want it extended to the USA

It's important to point out that Trump and his goons are a gaggle of bumbling, incompetent neonazis addicted to stimulants who would be far less harmful, had not every single institution in America decided to collaborate and empower them, from mass media to universities to the Democrats themselves.

“Panican” feels like an annoying line from parks and rec that a 55yr old would say to you in 2015 wtf is happening

We gotta defeat both parties, we’ve always had to,

Friend of mine had to renovate her own classroom out of pocket over the holidays - I think the last day off she had was sometime in 2023.

cool i already hated using discord and refuse any requests i get from people to join their discord servers

it's one thing to reference Mike Tyson, it's another thing to do when you, like RFK Jr, have been credibly accused of sexual assault and seemingly admitted it to the press

Any RPG is a cozy rpg when you smoke opium on a mattress

I’m at this party beyond the inoperable door and it’s getting rowdy in here

Who is this for and what is it supposed to communicate?

fuck it. effective immediately the trump assassination attempt was also staged. thank you for your etc etc

I don’t think we should allow literal child rapist politicians directly connected to the international cabal run by king pedophile to write restrictive legislation premised on “protecting the children” tho

This goes hand in hand with the productivity cult of modern tech ppl where they tell you they work 20hrs a day 6.5 days a week, building a fine tuned machine life for efficiency, and their work always turns out to be bizdev for an AI algorithm that will charge people fees for using the toilet etc

Libertarians tried to warn me about Trump but I didn't listen

The 2 guys I know who were libertarians became hardcore democrats in 2016 because they realized they could have all the same politics but people wouldn’t yell at them as much on Facebook

I love the New York Times fruitless search to find the rightwing answer to fighting Trump ten years in

Reminded of this @drewtoothpaste.bsky.social comic from 16 years ago

Here’s a pic for the ladies

The patriots lost the Super Bowl as the American people officially reject racism

Sadly as the power of jokes leave the world we enter a degraded age, a world without joking

Im not watching the game im too busy masturbating to the Internet only uncut versions of the sexy ads from the superbowl

God, imagine working at a New York pizzeria on Super Bowl Sunday and then running out of gummy worms…

Getting a real New York pizza with gummy worms on it while every one is distracted

My cousin saw a giant and the government disappeared him. My cousin recorded the existence of a giant on his phone and next day the government appeared and took him AND his phone. My cousin met and talked to a giant and

Some of you on here:

It’s so funny that the pizza gate/qanon guys finally getting the leaks that tell them in no uncertain terms the pedophile cabal is real find creative ways to ignore that and go further into fantasy

look if you’re a fan of American football, I’m not gonna say you’re a bad person, but I will say you’ve got bad taste, and that you’re boring, and dumb, and ugly, and a bad person

A desperate plea sent to me by a Minneapolis resident who's been on the front lines since the beginning of the ICE occupation:

I mean this is the secret to all of these “new revenue streams” from drop shipping to flooding Facebook with AI slop, the ppl making money are the ppl selling how to make money scams about these things,

It’s so cold I’m in my girls house doing this

Because Democrats have been voting with Republicans in bipartisan support of the fascist ICE agency going back to 2003 when George Bush started it, with increases in funding & detentions of innocent people year over year over year. That's why.

Fuck to the New England patriots, the team for racists. I don’t even know who the fuck the other team is but I hope they humiliate the patriots.

Jeffrey Epstein, a great, great guy. Very innocent and perhaps more innocent than anyone knows. And I had nothing to do with him. But he died like a dog and nobody thought we could do it but we did. They said sir the video will cut out for a few minutes and I said wow. And we'll see what happens

lmfao trump 100% had epstein killed

Right wing shit heads who talk about cities as war torn “no go zones” believe it because they want to believe it not because they’re misinformed, and the ppl who push it from fever swamp nazi influencers to the New York Times know the political project they’re involved in and why

we're all looking for the guy that did this

I’m dyslexic and give you carte blanche to make fun of international child rapist and criminal Jeffrey epsteins bad spelling in his emails with all the oligarchs who have ruined our world

This is maybe problematic to say but Maggie Cheung is kinda Jamaica coded in Hero (2002), complimentary

Doing this in my gf’s house

Woke up this morning and a radio in this house was playing a New Yorker radio hour interview w Ben Shapiro (in 2026, they’re into year ten of the libs interviewing Ben Shapiro, he won, genocide in Palestine and cops killing ppl in American cities) and I think my whole day is cursed