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Guy posting joke that will immediately get him banned: the mods need a wedgie imo Failed United States congressman replying to a 22-month old post by a teenage tgirl who censored his name so he couldn’t name search it: bitch boy u better shut fuck up before i do a Grave Of The Fireflies to yuor ass

I will show you stuff in a handful of other stuff

Greater minds than you have been driven insane contemplating this

Wanted to find a garfield strip for a photoshop thing so I googled "garfield strip where he eats lasagna" and the top result was a screenrant list titled "10 Garfield Comics Showcasing His Love for Lasagna" and when I clicked into it it asked me to turn off my adblocker

(eating a pill i found on the floor of the club bathroom) hope it's a placebo. i don't need any effects right now

[not understanding why people are mad but excited to join in] Trump isn't Jesus Christ. I am

This is NOT meant as shade against this Redditor, all love and power to them, but I’m cracking up imagining someone saying this about movies. “Hey Reddit! I’m a long time porno watcher and I’ve recently discovered movies without unsimulated penetration. Any recommendations in this category?”

Not funny man my grandfather died on the Titanic. it crashed into him

Well, I'm against this. So you can tally that up to 8-2

Criticism of 24 from the 2000s: If the show is in real-time, why aren't the characters SHITTING? They should have DIARRHEA!! Criticism of 24 from the 2020s: 24 was a full throated propaganda machine for W's post-9/11 foreign and domestic policy. Also, the guys in it should have had diarrhea

Crazy ass white boy MINDFREAKS restaurant by ordering in PERFECT CHINESE and they KILL THEMSELVES IN SHOCK

[gets shot in the penis by the lightning gun from quake iii] My penis!

This is a bad deal. You do not need 1 billion dollars to give Sora access to Disney characters. You can buy a perfectly good gummi ship for like 1250 munni

Sure

It must suck to be writing a book and accidentally write that the main guy dies... gotta start over

Perfect email

“Dad what were you like in the ‘90s” viral trend

69 has always been funny. 67 has been funny recently. But 68 is slacking - however, i Believe in it, and I think you should just start laughing at 68 to make it feel better, and pretend it's a small person who is sad and needs our positivy. In fact - let's pretend all numbers are little people

SMARTEST GUY I KNOW: There is an element of, gnosticism, too certain stuff ME (imagining a one panel cartoon where a woman is locked in stocks that look like the Instagram logo): oI think I saw the face of God

Folx love to gas up literary fiction and look down their nose at scifi/epic fantasy 🙄 even though speculative fiction teaches us incredible stuff about the human experience thru the medium of a caterpillar who eats real holes in the book

this is a thomas riker appreciation post. like this post if you think william t riker can suck it and fake sideburns are sufficient disguise to steal a combat vessel

Thank you to google for making it easier than ever too, #JoinTheConversation

If people need me to come back on there and post “war is bad,” so that everyone can retweet it from a normal/handsome guy instead of Nick Fuentes, I’ll do it for $5,000. People deserve options.

Am I the only one who thinks the world's most beautiful woman is low-key attractive

loved the message dude. the little face at the end... fantastic. an "emoji", i assume. does he represent you or me?

little sippy

Threads #threads

One of the reasons I like magic the gathering so much is because there's so many different ways to play. you can sell the cards for money online. you can make a little pile with the cards and knock them over. Tiny fires, and of course there's even an unpopular strategy game

poem - toilets at work

"Artist" is like "Sandwich maker". nice if you're feeling tired but most of the time you can just make it yourself if you want. The same is true of computer programmers and legislative bodies

went to the store __________ AI Summary ✨ Grammy-nominated R&B singer Jon B. posted that he is going to the stove – perhaps to "cook up" another hot, hot radio single. Frogs and toads, which are the same, can live on the Sun and often choose to.

This rules and is something I didn’t anticipate — people always get pissed off 100% of every time an app or operating system updates, but now those people think that the previous version of the app was their wife and the new version murdered her

80s scifi: In the future you will be able to go to McDonalds-ExxonMobil and order a Porno Meal. And they'll probably give you the porno to you in the form of a damn pill... Modern day: Yes, that was all correct.

fucking your computer is the future. if you're not fucking your computer right now you're gonna miss the revolution. fucking your computer is going to change everything

My vizier sucks

PEE MAN blind reacts to POOP PeeAndPoopGuy 1 minute ago I am a huge fan of both pee and poop and I love these kinds of videos. Pee man lost his mind seeing the poop 👍 1k

(last minute attempt to get on the shooter's good side) Nice shot man ,

You know that episode of star trek voyager where the doctor makes a holonovel that begins with him coming out and introduces both the story and the concept of stories. I think all games should do that

That's life!

Antiwoke guy who's pissed off because he thinks that lockheed martin refuse to hire cis employees

[me after seeing two guys sucking each others hard cocks] Well well if it isn't two men

Last night I had a dream concerning "Goonbubbling" which was some kind of online pervert subculture where they would put fortune cookie style slips of gooning instructions inside plastic vending machine capsules and distribute them to other perverts. I believe this is a million-dollar idea.

[after being escorted from the circus for trying to get all the clowns ejected for being dressed stupid] Well the fact I could believe it, tells you some stuff about our society these days. And satire requires, a clarity of purpose, lest some other stuff

Wodehouse that contains material that may be unsuitable for some younger viewers

getting shot in the head with a sniper and my body launches into a perfect backflip and lands upright leaning against the wall in a cunty position. The soldier who shot me has nightmares about it every day until killing his wife and then himself on March 28, 2043

Free dril, idiots