Today is Computer Day. Happy Computer Day

This is bullshit. I was saying this years before the Alley Cats trailer dropped

best ever! love it!

Take a Break

You need a gun to protect themselves from other people with guns. If someone shoots at you you can take out your gun and shoot the bullet out of the air

Absolutely breathtaking interaction

I worry that one day I'll have a heart attack and the last thing I'll do before I die is stumble over to my computer and type "oppa computer style - gangnam style parody" in my notes

You KNOW someone's straight when they assume gay porn has two guys having sex in it lmao 🤣 Mostly they just review different flavour doritos from around the world on a scale from S to F

one time when I was a teenager I was with a group of friends at one of their houses and they opened up youtube on their ps3 and searched for "FUNNY VIDEOS". This is when I learned that some people use the internet in a fundamentally incorrect way

obviously its statistically unlikely to be true of all my detractors, but i think finding out that at least one person who thinks im a piece of shit for helping charity is a vociferous defender of child pornography does kind of entrench my beliefs somewhat

people love to criticize ai just because it makes mistakes all the time. you shouldn't criticize things

(watching gay porn with my friend and the dude starts to suck the other dudes dick) (pressing pause) Ummm pause? Lmfao. (pressing play

Chat

Guy posting joke that will immediately get him banned: the mods need a wedgie imo Failed United States congressman replying to a 22-month old post by a teenage tgirl who censored his name so he couldn’t name search it: bitch boy u better shut fuck up before i do a Grave Of The Fireflies to yuor ass

I will show you stuff in a handful of other stuff

Greater minds than you have been driven insane contemplating this

Wanted to find a garfield strip for a photoshop thing so I googled "garfield strip where he eats lasagna" and the top result was a screenrant list titled "10 Garfield Comics Showcasing His Love for Lasagna" and when I clicked into it it asked me to turn off my adblocker

(eating a pill i found on the floor of the club bathroom) hope it's a placebo. i don't need any effects right now

[not understanding why people are mad but excited to join in] Trump isn't Jesus Christ. I am

This is NOT meant as shade against this Redditor, all love and power to them, but I’m cracking up imagining someone saying this about movies. “Hey Reddit! I’m a long time porno watcher and I’ve recently discovered movies without unsimulated penetration. Any recommendations in this category?”

Not funny man my grandfather died on the Titanic. it crashed into him

Well, I'm against this. So you can tally that up to 8-2

Criticism of 24 from the 2000s: If the show is in real-time, why aren't the characters SHITTING? They should have DIARRHEA!! Criticism of 24 from the 2020s: 24 was a full throated propaganda machine for W's post-9/11 foreign and domestic policy. Also, the guys in it should have had diarrhea

Crazy ass white boy MINDFREAKS restaurant by ordering in PERFECT CHINESE and they KILL THEMSELVES IN SHOCK

[gets shot in the penis by the lightning gun from quake iii] My penis!

This is a bad deal. You do not need 1 billion dollars to give Sora access to Disney characters. You can buy a perfectly good gummi ship for like 1250 munni

Sure

It must suck to be writing a book and accidentally write that the main guy dies... gotta start over

Perfect email

“Dad what were you like in the ‘90s” viral trend

69 has always been funny. 67 has been funny recently. But 68 is slacking - however, i Believe in it, and I think you should just start laughing at 68 to make it feel better, and pretend it's a small person who is sad and needs our positivy. In fact - let's pretend all numbers are little people

SMARTEST GUY I KNOW: There is an element of, gnosticism, too certain stuff ME (imagining a one panel cartoon where a woman is locked in stocks that look like the Instagram logo): oI think I saw the face of God

Folx love to gas up literary fiction and look down their nose at scifi/epic fantasy 🙄 even though speculative fiction teaches us incredible stuff about the human experience thru the medium of a caterpillar who eats real holes in the book

this is a thomas riker appreciation post. like this post if you think william t riker can suck it and fake sideburns are sufficient disguise to steal a combat vessel

Thank you to google for making it easier than ever too, #JoinTheConversation

If people need me to come back on there and post “war is bad,” so that everyone can retweet it from a normal/handsome guy instead of Nick Fuentes, I’ll do it for $5,000. People deserve options.

Am I the only one who thinks the world's most beautiful woman is low-key attractive

loved the message dude. the little face at the end... fantastic. an "emoji", i assume. does he represent you or me?

little sippy

Threads #threads

One of the reasons I like magic the gathering so much is because there's so many different ways to play. you can sell the cards for money online. you can make a little pile with the cards and knock them over. Tiny fires, and of course there's even an unpopular strategy game

poem - toilets at work

"Artist" is like "Sandwich maker". nice if you're feeling tired but most of the time you can just make it yourself if you want. The same is true of computer programmers and legislative bodies

went to the store __________ AI Summary ✨ Grammy-nominated R&B singer Jon B. posted that he is going to the stove – perhaps to "cook up" another hot, hot radio single. Frogs and toads, which are the same, can live on the Sun and often choose to.

This rules and is something I didn’t anticipate — people always get pissed off 100% of every time an app or operating system updates, but now those people think that the previous version of the app was their wife and the new version murdered her