beer mom

I am the Grim Reaper For Fucking Pussys like you . I will hit you in the mouth. Do not ask me questions

wifes love asking shit like "Honey, what is the Blowjob Olympics?" and "Why is 'Blowjob Olympics' listed on our CC statement like 14 times"

im hearing now, that all the nerds who got their pants pulled down while distracted by the Northern Lights, will be charged as sex offenders

the diaper pokemon

Yoda Latino

my followers have been begging me for this for 10 years .

watching you dildo brain cock suckers play w/ AI shit is like watching a dog paw at one of those puzzle boxes that you put treats inside of

please read my insanely embarrassing piece in the NYT "It's Bad—Why I Revised My Thoughts Regarding Poo Poo" that I was paid $90000 to write

been monitoring the hbo max situation; consistently hearing reports that big bird has a fully articulated cloaca that they never show on tv

tekken chauncey jsut confessed that he masturbated to the movie norbit because theres hot girls in it too and not just ones in fat suits

tekken chauncey said in the ethical media consumption discord that he just got done taking a Shit so big that it look like a human brain

hiring metal gear eric to be my "attack dog" and go on news programs and call everyone pedophiles whenever photos of my dick leak online

ever y time i see like 200 fireworks going off I imagine that theyre being shot at an aliens ufo just rocking the shit out of his stupid ass

i had to stop doing this because people were starting fake joe dirt accounts and posting the quote just to get my like . worm behaviour

i think people would like my posts more if they knew they are dictated to me through an earpiece as i type them, by comedian David spade

pay per view efvent 30 pitbulls vs a helicopter $900 full access tv-ma

your crazy ass stupid post just fucked up the whole world . hope it was worth the likes. hope youre enjoying the clicks

some mandela æffect shit. a recalled vision of garfield the cat wearing a trenchcoat & holding a pistol? saying simply the word "Society..."

tip the waitress? whats next, tipping the dog for shitting all ovefr my green grass???

cuomo will be a good mayor because hes wearing a nuclear diaper to contain his sexual impulses that will wipe out 12 city blocks if it fails

did they even have news in the 1960s?? what were these people talking about. "oh theyre making a new smothers brother" Shut the fuck up man

commercials used to be like "Envision a world where a kid can have Lunch. No teachers" . now theyre like "Please buy the 2025 nissan altima"

"click here to verify the email address associated with your account" Why? So the trolls can murder me easier ??

when cell phones were first invented digimon otis called them "the poor man's bandai wonderswan". clearly he was wrong to have said this .

know this: there are people I respect & do not follow. there are people I follow & do not respect. it`s up to fate—i make no apologies of it

Last night 300000 of my followers tragically perished. While im saddened by the news, I never met most of them and do not really give a shit

i dont get involved in politics, im not interested in news, but ill gladly let an IDF guy glue my dick hole shut if it'll help him feel safe

Oh youre jacking off to the sabrina carpenter sexy dog pic? Boring. Ill instead be jacking off to the album covers of Schubert , and Strauss

"Were treated like dogs. Theyre making us lay on the floor. Were here to help Waymo" Its ok grandpa. The war ended 40 years ago. Go to sleep

you wont believe your eyes—The Masturbating Roach . People come from far and wide to see him "Do his thing" . Sponsored by Topgolf

the president wont see your cheap dunks against jeffery epstein . But your friends who have ties to state sponsored pedophilia will

twitch.tv/piss exclusive preview of my game I'm developing. really good dont miss

baby parrot like balloon i helped it

i let my son punch me in the head and i tell him the day you can kill me in one blow is the day you officially become a Teen

how to install lever in my car that blocks my "Tool Makes Me Nut" bumper sticker w/ a little curtain while picking the boys up from lacrosse

www.youtube.com/watch?v=aYgT... good

embarrassing problem; i can't cum unless I am either jacking off or having intercourse,

my d&d guy is a green Mage who specializes in summoning off-Leash pitbulls from the doggy day care dimension . and using him is not politics

(steppping off the road and tripping on the sidewalk a little bit) Ouch . I just sucked that curb's dick hole

all young men should work at MACY'S for at least 6 years instead of sitting around making prank phone calls while prematurely ejaculating

buddy you came to the wrong ass to fuck

you cant read auras stupid ass . you can barely read English

im not a ho and if i was being a ho my boys would tell me to stop being a ho and i would stop doing it

WIFE: Im coming over at 2pm to yell at you for wearing the wrong shirt . ME: All my shirts are correct. By the way; Im Fucking DIVORCING you

"Suck Richerd Simmons Cock? Um, Yeah. Let's Not." - DRIL