streaming and podcasting is my goose farm

i went back in time and explained the concept of taking adderall to clean your house to some medieval peasants and they thought it was so funny they made me the mayor of their town

All the Epstein emails are like On Tue, November 21, 2017 at 8:16 AM, Larry Summers wrote: Have you seen the latest news? Get the popcorn ready… On Tue, November 21, 2017 at 8:18 AM, jeffrey E. <[email protected]> wrote: Pop cofn taste good .

from: [email protected] to: [email protected] Your Amazon order is expected to deliver today. This email was sent from an address that cannot accept incoming email. Please do not reply to this message. from: [email protected] to: [email protected] wwhere’s my ordur.. im a pedophile btw

genuinely very few things more satisfying than reading the kinds of emails rich and famous people send each other

CVS is best thought of as a kind of interactive museum exhibit where you can experience everything that has gone badly wrong with American capitalism.

you think podcasting is easy? i’d like to see you have two ideas a week buddy

instagram is serving me a lot of cat products that try to convince you your cat is deeply unhappy or sick. today i got one that said if your cat tries to chew plastic it’s because its bored and depressed and needs a new toy. no dude they are just fucking crazy it’s like their whole thing

digby fell asleep on my stream

doing this again tonight at 5pm pacific! the wheel is stacked

I tried to whistle over a stray cat in my neighborhood and a woman walked by, who I worried thought I whistled at her. So I said “im whistling at the cat” but when I looked back down at it I realized it was just an old fast food bag

(seeing a bible chapter and verse sticker on a car window in traffic) oh cool. i'll be sure to go home and look that up. and then, believe in it

This label is preventing people from realizing The Joke of Bart Simpson (Rude) youtu.be/uXKoiJrEUtI?...

shitfaced jamaal bowman saying this is so fuckin funny i feel so seen right now

Repost this if you forgot the Fifth of Remember

i guess we'll never know which parades that don't exist mamdani thinks should exist. the voters didn't care about which parades don't exist that should

Enjoying an unhurried and delightful meal at The Table Of Success. My waiters keep bringing me off-menu amuse bouches "from the chef." Ah here comes another crudo. Sublime.

The defense team presses Lairmore on whether the sandwich really 'exploded.' They return to the photo of the sandwich and wrapper on the ground. "That sandwich hasn't exploded at all, has it?" defense asks. "It looks like a little bit is coming out towards the bottom," Lairmore replies.

Forgot that punchbowl was some kinda news site so for a few seconds I thought wow that must have been a pretty crazy accident

i made a good lunch bowl earlier: leftover rice, crisped in the pan (thin layer, tried to only flip it once) fried egg avocado sautéed kale, also good just blanched i had some agrodolce red onions in the fridge but pickled red onions or any pickles would be good korean bbq sauce sesame seeds

This was so fun. My reputation has gone from “let’s talk about the politics of work and revolution” to “let’s talk about people sucking and fucking in a British park”

Jake Tapper would have driven to the White House with a gun if Biden had said this

B. Kliban drew one of the funniest comics I have ever seen before

Hate it when a henchman comes up to me, like: "Hey, listen up, Mac. Me and the boys bin thinkin..." It's like, do I pay you to think, you big lummox?

Naughty children get the soup

this is happening RIGHT NOW! and we're wearing COSTUMES! what could they be???

i am really excited about our premium episode today, one that has been requested many times: GHOSTWATCH! and we got Brendan James on to talk about it! i looove ghostwatch!!! sign up to listen or watch www.patreon.com/posts/finest...

New incredible detail here: ICE says a match in its facial recognition app Mobile Fortify is a "definitive" determination of a person's status, and that this overrides birth certificates. This is an app ICE is using in the field to scan people www.404media.co/ice-and-cbp-...

never let them tell you that you don’t have a voice ❤️

come learn about The Hairy Hands of Dartmoor and other pathetic British ghost stories

ok if we see a connections that starts with WHAT'S ALL THIS THEN we'll know what's going on

this is the only explanation i can think of

if anyone cancels the patreon before halloween satan will come to my house and make fun of me :( this is true

i should be able to click a button at the beginning of a sports season that says “i’m normal” and i don’t get served any ads for crypto or gambling

lol this cop pissed himself

thinking. pondering. discovering worlds inside her mind

A moth got into the shelter tonight and it was the event of the season.

i would like a candidate to run on rounding up the guys who decided to lock up all the moisturizer and toothpaste at the drugstore and putting them in a lion enclosure until they promise to stop doing that

we were so close to not streaming tonight

i love GHOSTWATCH

i think if i had a tattoo that anyone ever suggested could ever look like a nazi tattoo i'd go ahead and get that sucker turned into a big crazy goose or something

sometimes i get depressed thinking about the portion of people who will just never listen to a podcast hosted by two women. they might not think about it consciously but they'll never choose to do it. but then i check out our patreon member list and smile at how many women are in there. WOMEN!

if you want to SEE us TOGETHER, in person, with our wonderful guest @slowpuke.bsky.social, you must sign up for our Patreon. it's worth it because we are soooo funny and nice www.patreon.com/posts/derren...

I had a great time talking to Fortnite Talk Show host @thelukeman.bsky.social about making space for normal people to talk about their lives, and also how a Lukeman Fortnite skin would "do a lot to heal this country" pvguide.ghost.io/fortnite-tal...

ffsdfff

lmao

the tummy rub liker

Q. Will there be email at the party? A. Yes. There will be an email station at my birthday party.

digital media is dying not because it’s a bad way to cover the news or people don’t care about the news but because the people who now own these sites are increasingly 1) uninterested in covering the news as opposed to turning a profit 2) ignorant of what covering the news requires