why are we pretending like today is the day when we change the clocks and not the first of 14 days during which we are annoyed that the clocks are wrong

I need every single male artist that follows me to read this. It's not very long. You need to bear witness to this shit. You have to see it with your own eyes because you never will in your everyday life. I'm serious, read it all please

our presidential administration abducted the leader of a foreign government, and that was fine, then they unilaterally initiated a war of aggression alongside their most unhinged ally, and that was fine, now they’re threatening to garrote cuba with a piano wire, and…

me and the fellas locking in saturday plans to throw back a couple of waters

“I’m Cuban American. For the sake of both countries, Trump’s siege must end.” @dannyvaldes.bsky.social for The Guardian: www.theguardian.com/commentisfre...

we already sacrifice going to the hospital so these goblins can blow up schools what’s one or two or three hundred more sacrifices gonna hurt

sure the “killing innocent school children” part is bad but this is the rare occasion of a US institution investigating itself and deciding that it’s guilty, so

It's amazing what it says about income inequality that the math on this proposal actually works.

the ‘prog’ in prog rock stands for prognostication and most of what these bards have written in song has eerily come to pass

this post deserves to be presented to you by having an index card moved down word by word with photos taken of your face after every new reveal

The computer partnered with the computer to absolve many vile humans of destroying a girls’ school then again bombing the remaining rubble, an element of this we’d rather not mention

if you’re the attorney representing Shamwow Vince you owe it to the court to wear the most ill-fitting suit of all time

"The CIA conspired to make me less cool than I was when I was 25" is the most succinct Gen X manifesto I've ever heard

Every trans person is like "I knew something was up before I had the words to describe it and had to fight for this for years" and every transphobe is like "one conversation with a doctor could have convinced me to get the walrus surgery from the movie 'The Walrus'"

US following Israel's lead

the two antagonistic Sunday laundry vibes are “oh wow how nice to be the only person in New York City today” and “fuck I am burdening the world by even leaving my apartment” these two sensibilities were always fated to clash

happy Awards Day for all who celebrate

I think it's important to take a step back, and really think hard about how this is what the architect of the Iran War and assassination of its Supreme Leader was doing with his time only 12 years ago:

they are wow. they're all there. right now in the same place, which is Mar-a-Lago. all gathered together

even if i were pro regime change in iran this demonstrbaly does not seem like the way to go about it. Like im against lung cancer but would not try to remove a tumor myself w tools from my kitchen

Israel, immediately after vaporizing a bunch of little girls:

pondering how somebody I know likely rushed to the probability markets to wager on the length of a joint US-Israel campaign of aggression this morning and feeling unwell!

Leader of the Democratic party earlier this year

Hearing a lot about this show Industry but not sure whether you want to take the plunge? I've got good news: Everything good about Industry is right there in the series premiere, and it only gets better from there. As I wrote last season, all you'll need to decide if it's for you is one hour

Yes there are scarcely any bathrooms anywhere in any American city that a human being can simply use. A customer can find one perhaps. Pissing and shitting are a pretty common thing for people to have to do you may know.

i invented the thing where they move the options on the site precisely so the one option you did not want to click is precisely where your thumb is now. the tech industry pays me $600k per year and i refer to myself as a “builder”

Have regrettably reached that point of Saturday when I have finished all I NEED to do yet too few hours remain to finish everything I would LIKE to do

really the only thing that sets these dipshits apart is a willingness to talk at length anytime puts a microphone in front of them with absolutely no regard as to how inane they sound. if I said this and they put it on the computer I’d be in my apt w the blinds drawn til may

gotta be real this last month may be the least I’ve left my apartment including during Covid and I have NOT used that time productively

between this pic, pedophile mayor Wayne Dingus, and the third thing of your choice, we truly are living in a Tim & Eric reality

yes, the wheels of justice are slow. agonizingly, excruciatingly slow. and oftentimes they miss or go off the tracks entirely. in fact most of the time. but occasionally, very infrequently, that big wheel of justice delivers theoretical remuneration for a handful of vested business interests

“Journalism is better when it’s backed by live markets” is proof you can put truly any string of words together and act like it makes sense

grinded enough in silksong to the point where I cannot do anything in the game aside from fight one of four very mean bugs but the thing is: I really don’t wanna

Extremely funny to log on to this site populated exclusively by communist furries who work in software development and go “does the left like ANY technology?”

This looks like a room in Silent Hill

I think of the goofiest shit all day and consider writing it down in my notes app then post stuff like “steps away from death… descending the stairwell” could def do better am aware

We should all be decidedly more insane. I’m not necessarily saying that would help, I’m just saying we’re clearly not really grappling with this reality, you know? Ok anyway good night!

It’s so funny to think about the fact that there’s people out there deferring every life decision to this

(guy whose website barely works voice) @pfrazee.com

best soda going. this is the year of Pepsi

rotisserie chickens cost like six dollars and can be used for borderline three meals

Super Bowl viewers Sunday speculated that 5-year-old Liam Conejo Ramos appeared in the halftime show. In fact, he has been in hiding with his family. “He can’t sleep well at night. He wakes up three or four times a night screaming, ‘Daddy, Daddy,’” Liam's father Adrian Conejo Arias, said.

I tried to take a photo of a grasshopper on my windshield, but now it looks like a gigantic bug destroying the town.

‘No Hard Feelings’ is v funny and a bummer that future generations will not get to watch C+ movies repeatedly on comedy central or even the usa network

lol thank you, Harvard

i wrote about Charli's post-Brat intellectual era...she's becoming a Film Bro.....she's even blogging... www.gq.com/story/charli...

This is like a Mr Show idea