In the posting lotus going "man," on inhale and "what," on exhale

I am at the $20/hour playing with Legos storefront and gauging the relative affluence of the families of the children here and lol, lmao

It’s a big day for fans of the word aviatrix

My six year old brought home some Oreos from school today and while opening it asked me if i “would care for one”

Well don't I feel stupid

Hope you’re feeling ok, it’s a mistake I’ve made and it isn’t a lot of fun!

[at my second rodeo] listen up you ignorant sack of shit

Pitching my “Billions” spinoff: “Millions” - a gripping business drama set in the cutthroat world of jetski dealerships and “everyone gets a cul-de-sac” planned neighborhoods in coastal Michigan.

let’s hear it for beloved Simpsons character Gavin’s Mom

Babygirl is “what if we made a medium-good Nicole Kidman has a midlife crisis movie assembled from the good parts of Eyes Wide Shut and a bunch of sexy thriller Verhoeven/Lyne/etc stuff from the 90s” and it works

Hi @npr.org! We worked late tonight putting together this handy pocket guide! It doesn't address road design issues, but if we're going to educate road users, we should include drivers. It's the size of a folded business card. Print it, fold it, put it in your wallet!

Putting the finishing touches on my anthropological study of the “Bluesky Guy” (38-47 years old, standard level woke and making SURE you know it, significantly less emotionally regulated than he thinks, every thread an opportunity for a personal story) which will be seminal but earn me death threats

doctor: you are sad. the B-52s are performing tonight. go see them, they will cheer you up fred schneider: but DOCTOR

Orna what the hell

"I Touch Myself" one of many tremendous, outrageously great pop songs written by the duo of Tom Kelly and Billy Steinberg, who put out all these incredible bangers and then Tom Kelly just said "okay, I've done enough" and has been retired for 35 years. that's how you DO it, man

The China Vehicle Collision Repair Technical and Research Center posted this video of their new battery ejection system for EVs for when they experience thermal runaway, and I cannot stop laughing. Good luck whoever is to my right! #cars

two orthodox dudes blowing shofars right outside the l train steps with an absolute rapt audience of one hound dog on a leash

it's 2007. you're scrolling your favorite rss feeds in google reader. the internet ad market has led to a boom in mid-sized blogs that can employ tens of writers and editors in a relatively niche subject. you don't know it, but this is the last time journalism will be any good.

I would like to once again point out just how gay coded Calvin’s bachelors uncle is

Bugs Bunny fucked with Marvin the Martian in each of these at least once

The amount of work it takes to remain a fan of a celebrity while keeping up on any antisocial personal and censorious professional choices is so difficult that I give up. From now on I am a fan of just one celebrity: Vladimir Ilyich Len[hand to earpiece] what the fuck? The whole family? Jesus Christ

CHOTINER: You've often said you think you would be able to "lock down" Jucika and get her to marry you.

“You love the gif now see the movie”

I cannot win over the great forces destroying our planet and country but I can buy time on a north korean autodialer just to drive this person insane

Somewhere in Des Moines there’s a very long-standing titty bar with a VERY solemn statute out front

Frankly this would be more than negatively appealing if the dads were selling one another nudes as the name implies

shaved my head and beard over the sink last night which is the guy equivalent of doing my own blunt bangs

Holy shit I thought this was just a gag on Just Shoot Me

CHOTINER: So your son is 14, is that right? IKARI: It's complex, Isaac. If— CHOTINER: And the “robot” he pilots, that’s actually the child of an alien you keep crucified in the basement, which is possessed by the spirit of his dead mother? IKARI: Look, let me answer the question. CHOTINER: Sure.

Shana Tova!

Shana tova everyone

Too late, Batman. Once this Tylenol floods the city's water supply, my wiki won't run out of editors ever again

As America's most pro-business leader in a generation, I will choose one company each week and accuse them of witchcraft

Look I understand that New York City is the metropolis of the world and we acknowledge and respect and celebrate the different people and nations that make it up. That being said I could not be less comfortable right now.

Now bring back Difficult People and we've got a stew going!

this is the most specific beef to have

Why did no one tell me GIF uploads work

These people are really running low on normal behavior to pathologize

we have like 5 or 6 So Youre A Leftist With Children type books given to us by well-meaning friends, and every one has the Joy Level of sitting down to study Robert's Rules Of Order

You know what Tumblr account I always enjoyed was Best URL on Here. What's that fellow up to I wonder

My kid has been reading his Young Adventurer D&D books and is now throwing 30 year old lore at me: “do you know who Boo is?” “Boo?” “Yeah he’s Minsk’s pet. He’s a miniature giant space hamster but that might not be true.”

which way western man

Canceling Disney+ because they canceled Kimmel is well and good, but if you really want to make them pay attention, there is no better way than fucking Goofy's wife

I salute whoever owned this Dreamcast arcade stick

which way western man

Look I understand that New York City is the metropolis of the world and we acknowledge and respect and celebrate the different people and nations that make it up. That being said I could not be less comfortable right now.