one of the many many reasons Ravenous is so good is that it doesn't give a stupid choice about But The Drawbacks Of Vampirism. You're not all tortured or sallow or unable to see sunlight or garlic. It just makes you better and healthier in every way, and then asks "so. why might you not want this?"

the only problem with young people today is that they never had to mentally negotiate the difference btwn a video game's box/booklet art and the sprites they would play as on the screen. i understood what Plato was talking about before i ever even heard of him thanks to DRAGON WARRIOR

i was putting together a family email about Thanksgiving and started typing an aunt's name but it autofilled the email address of an ex with the same name. close call. aunts and exes need to coordinate better to avoid this kind of catastrophe

4-year-old asked the other kids if they wanted to play Family and they all shouted "YEAH" and dashed upstairs holding their baby dolls. a few minutes passed and then i heard them all singing in unison 🎵 아파트, 아파트, 아파트, 아파트, 아파트, 아파트, JUST MEET ME AT THE 🎵

glam squirtle

start the movie by pulling a Patrick McGoohan lookalike out of the Village and then have him do the rest of the Bond Movie like normal. blow him up again at the end

legit my biggest problem with The Matrix in 1999 was that after Neo has his climactic revelation, he should get to stop wearing black and switch to an insanely loud bright Hawaiian shirt or something. anyway shoutout to Koumba in Pluribus episode 2

"up against the wall" -wife and i excitedly marking how tall our birthday kid is now

OLD HEAD ACTIVATED

my kid's only birthday present request was a family trip to the overpriced roller rink, so now I'm wobbly-following at least one of my twins around in a circle with the grim mien of one of the protagonists of Contra (1987)

Liz 1 used her monarchical authority in the only truly justifiable way: seeing a character who's kind of goofy withbut and telling the author "now show me how it'd be if i let him hit"

getting whisked away into the magical fantastical land of the Hundred Acre Wood, where i finally get to meet the adorable, plucky, and loveable Winnie The Pooh in real life for the very first time: "man y'all can't spell for shit huh"

6-year-old: "can my birthday cake have a frosting rose on top?" me: "uh.. sure. i bet i can make a rose.." (proceeds to make a 40k chaos daemon called Hernius The Uncomfortable)

there are so many wonderful aspects to all the new GW nurgle sculpts, but an underrated one that i love: i hate when they make smoke or fumes out of solid plastic, and not a single one of the new sculpts have that. solid plastic should represent solid matter. that's simply how i was raised

I don't know why this Rubbermaid tub in our garage is labeled this way but every time i walk by it my brain supplies "My Bhemical Romance"

quoting this so i can find it more easily next time I search for it, using the term "the monster wears your face"

me inventing cotton candy: "so you know how every child's fondest desire is to eat cotton? WELL,

I think a lot about the story Carl Reiner told: he’d have been a sewing machine repairman if not for a free WPA drama class. That led to other theater work, to Sid Caesar, to Mel Brooks, and all the rest. All because of one free class paid for by a government that felt the arts were worth teaching.

baked the bread this morning, sous vided the turkey this afternoon, added the last of my wife's summer garden tomatoes. i made the kids a different dinner but they took a bite of my turkey BLT and shouted that it was the best sandwich ever

knocked out all 4 parent teacher conferences with all 4 kids in tow. kids asked if they could watch some hamster obstacle course video if they were all quiet and patient during the conferences, and i was ready to be like "yeah if we get through all these you can watch Reservoir Dogs for all i care"

Jury Nullification is a fancy name for a legal practice but it really just comes down to our innate right to always respond "actually I ain't gotta do shit, buddy"

just bummed myself out thinking about how good Jucika is, and imagining a 2025 guy using AI to try to make a sexy fun whimsical comic about a modern girl, and proudly posting a quasirealistic image of the Hawk Tuah lady doing a bikini carwash with three amorphous thighs

We’re moving stuff to my mom’s basement from her closet and keeping the coolest things we find.

i love when i log into something and it tells me some shit like Notification Hub is now Alert Village

me: "are you watching an eczema ad? wife: "it's an ad" me: "what. where are you watching this movie?" wife: "netflix. it has ads now" me: "WHAT!! NETFLIX HAS ADS?" wife: "only for adult accounts, not kids. so you don't need to worry abou-" me: "NETFLIX HAS ADS?” wife: "are you gonna tweet about it"

toronto-coded villain languorously telling the protagonist "i canadian tire of these games of yours.."

also it's weird that so much media focused on a guy in his thirties as "young". that's a full ass adult! you know what right and wrong are! you know where to allocate revenue! you don't gotta be fifty to become SuperGrownUp!

the people i feel really bad for are the NYPD; Mamdani doesnt even have any kids they can threaten. Hell, even his wife is too aloof. They're gonna be back at HQ, going we tried everythin, boss, she just wont crack, the broad's Too Aloof

in many ways, Mamdani got to live the ultimate dream - knowing he was making Cuomo incandescently mad, 24/7. but the price he must pay for this boon is having to be mayor of New York

it's gonna make woke 1 look like andrew dice clay's tight five

i'm running for a small local office but after i signed up, i realized the other candidate is actually quite nice and trustworthy. so neither of us actually campaigned. so now my friends keep being like "i hope you win!" and I'm like "it's fine if I dont"

The defense team presses Lairmore on whether the sandwich really 'exploded.' They return to the photo of the sandwich and wrapper on the ground. "That sandwich hasn't exploded at all, has it?" defense asks. "It looks like a little bit is coming out towards the bottom," Lairmore replies.

look, im not one of those guys who thinks every video game needs a movie adaptation. I'm just saying we are rapidly running out of time for a Rhea Seehorn portrayal of Samus Aran

NEW GILLIGAN/SEEHORN SHOW DROPPING FRIDAY

got up to vote bright and early this morning! one of the ballot questions was "should Dick Cheney die?" which i didn't expect. i assumed it was some meaningless non-binding resolution or something, but i ticked yes and the ground started humming

it's been two weeks since i read about Trump promising he'd get Vought laid, and my most common intrusive thought since then has been Trump shouting "Loomer! Throw it back for Vought" and Loomer nodding and growling "dahhh, you got it, boss" like a batman henchman

Doctors Announce Huge Discovery: Halloween Candy Actually Insanely Good For You "Everyone should be eating at least six pieces of candy a day," say genius scientists.

Severian is a classic example of an unreliable narrator when he introduces himself as Booker D. Newsun

this is the way genetics works in the Muppets

there are so many insane things about Daylight Savings Time but one of the weirdest is that it's not even a switch for half the year, it's 5 months and 7 months. it's what i would design if i was actively trying to fuck up sleep schedules better

It’s really crazy how many evil people in America have an origin story for their beliefs that amounts to “seeing a commercial”

archive.org has the shitty flash game from the Dilberito (frozen Dilbert burrito) website where the objective is to eat enough good food that you extend your lifespan to 150 years. this game was made by scott adams who is currently dying somewhat short of 150. rip archive.org/details/Dilb...

Wondery keeps serving me an ad with a horrible computer-generated robot lady voice advertising Capital One cards. it doesnt exactly inspire confidence in your financial prowess if your message in a purely audial medium is "we cannot afford to hire one (1) single human woman for a ten-second ad read"

explained the grocery's unexpected sale on lobster (and our subsequent lobster dinner) by shouting gleefully at my wife "HANNAFUHD'S DISTRIBUTAH FUCKED UP THEYH LOBSTA ORDA" which is what Eliza Doolittle would learn to say if My Fair Lady took place in new hampshire

the only downside to brewing ten gallons of IPA is that the beautiful floral hops scent wafts up from the basement and makes me feel like i'm being haunted by The Ghost Of Heady Topper Past

getting a free initial quote from Blackpink because apparently they're already in my area

[grinding cintli in the texolotl for grandmother’s much beloved tlaxcalli] this sucks

We have this mp3 player we call Party Bunny which came preloaded with a bunch of badly-translated "bedtime stories" that were clearly written down where it was manufactured in China, and then hired out to American narrators