Sauron was not only evil, he got distracted and his defenses failed

Remember how all the people with cooler heads said comparing them with nazis was being hysterical

WANTED TO STAY UP AND SEE SANTA! WANTED TO SEE AND I SAW! JOLLIER THAN YOU THINK, DAD! JOLLIER THAN YOU THINK!

The weasels in Roger Rabbit float up to heaven when they die because even the evil toons are unafflicted with human original sin

get everyone gambling on their phone and then charge them for losing is actually pretty funny

I did the same thing and also laughed at how nakedly transparent the whole intent is

Being a billionaire seems so chill and not pathology-inducing

Welcome to A New Era, Samuel Levine!

before I order something inessential: do I really have to have this. it’s no big deal one microsecond after clicking ORDER: where the fuck is it why is it taking so long I want it nowwwwww

I bet it would feel so good at first to get microwaved

the song where the lady sings “I’ll be home for Kwissmoiss” - enough. Knock it off

"megachurches are shen yun for white people" is an incredible and damning true statement

trump: prices are down. we're living deliciously. it's beautiful kilmeade: democrats say you met with black phillip-in essence the devil. can you squash that rumor? trump: i won't say who but we had a conversation that might be one of the most wonderful conversations in terms of the things we said

the guy in this video also sued Something Awful www.youtube.com/watch?v=H1oh...

"Has feminism failed women brought to you by bank of america" is my MKULTRA sleeper agent activation phrase

[At an Epstein event] Hey man can you not take a thousand pictures of me?

We were dead and now we're the hottest country in the world, the first country—quite frankly the only country—where a box of breakfast cereal costs $11. We're saying Merry Christmas, and also the r-slur, and we're getting back to saying "gay" so it means "stupid" again. Grown-ups are doing it now,

watched some of the Adam Friedland Nuzzi interview and I gotta say: I don’t get it. She is well below mid. The eyebrows are freaky and alien. Her skull shape looks like a different species! The eyes are small and dull like little raisins. She’s getting btfo by your average “homely” 32 year old!

maître d': sir, i'm afraid your penis is too small to be seated tonight me: can't i just chub it up some? this is ridiculous maître d': we both well-know it's already chubbed, sir

Virginia Heffernan wrote this shortly after the 2016 election and it still holds true

President Dipshit here, there will be a War tomorrow. No I did not ask anyone else about it first. Thanks

looking at my best songs of 2025 and realizing they’re all from 2010-2019 and I learned about them in the last three months

“What Donald Trump said was disgusting. Vile. Sickening. Unbecoming of the office. I am concerned he can no longer perform his duties as President. However I will continue to support him unconditionally and let him do anything he wants.” - every Republican alive

grocery store clerk was finally about to tell me why the grape bags are always open when two guys black bagged him into an suv waiting in the parking lot

come back so the owner of the site can send over my PII and message logs to literal Nazis? no I’m good thanks

i was trying to place what a certain type of ChatGPT output reminded me of - aggressively staccato cocksure while saying nothing, backed by no expertise - and i realized it was that Garland "It's Time For Some Game Theory" thread. Which also fooled pundits into thinking the speaker had interiority

It is important to promise, now, that whatever Trump builds at the White House will be torn down as soon as he leaves. www.hamiltonnolan.com/p/if-he-buil...

cars are too safe for drivers and have been for years. get rid of seatbelts and crumple zones and airbags. put a steel spike on the steering wheel. ideally - and I genuinely believe this - any car collision above 25 mph should kill everyone inside.

A lot of people think basically all traffic laws are a fundamentally illegitimate pretext to harass and fine motorists at random, rather than regulations designed to prevent injury and death.

these mfers love talking about God while radiating evil like an unshielded reactor core

The New York Times “comedy correspondent” worried you might not get the joke here, so he had Claude spell it out for you.

what the hell was that guy doing running a self-storage facility

i hate him so much. i hate how we have all been forced to share in his awful vanity for a decade. i hate that there’s no way to escape his stupid, stupid fucking face because he insists on plastering it on every possible thing. i hate that his brain-dead turns of phrase have become common parlance

(Having sex with a preternaturally beautiful woman who was overly eager to get me alone): I wonder what she's going to morph into to kill me

truly great chefs use only 1) fresh local produce 2) sustainable cruelty-free meats from a verified source and 3) ten thousand square feet of plastic wrap every hour

driving myself insane by saying "Boy mamas are TIIIIRRED yall" out loud in response to any previous thought or external stimulus

thanks guys but i think i can make this one at home

lmao

I appreciate the contribution reggae has made to music but it sucks so fucking bad man

[me on 7 hours sleep] stoic warrior poet [me on 5 hours sleep] why is. everyone. so MEAN. to me. they are so MEAN

result: not as good as you might hope or as bad as you might fear

It's not just about leave but about what we are producing when we are working, says Toss Grumley.

voice to texting a really long text and then you look down and nothing’s in there because you have headphones connected 👎

The nation’s thrift store managers demand the little price tags with only the most impossibly high residue adhesive. I want that shit gummier than a nursing home cafeteria, they say

The vomit scene plus visible crew in all its 4k glory:

Spending hours of my single precious life updating my health insurance information on my providers’ wildly different uniquely stupid websites and determining which entry on a 40 km long drop-down list of abbreviations corresponds to the bizarre, undocumented, secret name of my actual healthcare plan

wait I thought of one: TurboScan Pro. Inexpensive, rock-solid, works perfect, no bullshit updates, just raw simple no nonsense performance 🙏

alfred: dere is a nonce billionaire flyin liddle guls aroun on his air plane sir. he has his own island batman: i don't care

No, Lemon, I do not “read” Sutter Cane. I’m too busy reading in the trades that TGS came in fourth again last week behind Fox’s All-Star Salute to the White Race, and the Roku City screensaver.

The appropriate constitutional response at this point is for the opposition candidate to announce that the day she is inaugurated, everyone who accepted an irregular Trump pardon gets a Hellfire missile.