Easy. Still think about how much it sucks to this very day.

They're putting computers in the goddamn dogs now.

Regular guy, normal fella, good to have back up plans

Iran has struck the SpongeBob SquarePants shrine

Call the ship captains pussy. Tell em "you won't do it, bet you won't" that'll get em.

I’m pleased to announce that I am the new Bluesky CEO. My first order of business will be unplugging the website permanently. It’s for your own good

As the new CEO of Bluesky, my first order of business will be to establish Communism. My second order of business will be images in group chats.

Fox Sports graphics department going hard

I mean, you expect me not to watch this? Look at that friggin thing flying around!

Been getting a lot of unprompted beyblade videos. I mean, sure, I watch every one of them but I'm not currently interested or have ever really been interested in beyblades.

John Brown would vote right fucking now if he could

I may not have the best takes every time. I am simply some asshole on the internet. I think a lot of people would benefit from realizing that they, too, are just some asshole on the internet.

What the helly

What a stupid terrifying time to be alive

das burgerreich is burnt

Starting to think things might not actually be that chill rn.

Good luck. I cannot imagine a generation more prepared to draft dodge than Gen Z.

HE IS RIZZIN AND HE IS PISSED! FUCKING MAYOR @coleslaw-core.bsky.social IS BACK AND OMG WE'RE SO FUCKED LMAO!! Apparently @didipickles.bsky.social is going to be in the big musical about the Mayor's Resurrection - but she's the baddie.

hi. looking for my friends.

I humbly suggest you subscribe to / listen to / review (this is the important one) my dumb funny podcast, Movies Over My Hammy. Every week Andrew and I compare a bit of media to a tie-in menu or promo. Failing that, we compare a movie to a sandwich. It rips. podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/m...

MEOW MEOW BITCHES! @coffeecat.tgirl.gay and @sockart.bsky.social are two drunk chicks hosting a new news show called DeMEOWcracy Now. Sharing the same timeslot as FOREST OF TRUTHS, @bzvowell.bsky.social says BRING IT ON. Or you could just watch Poople Action News.

BIG BOAT STUCK 🚢

The perfect back tat...

still needing help this month, I got most of my bills paid save for the internet bill and I still haven't gotten anything saved up for rent for April, and nothing to help my brother Please like and share and help if you can, please! Cashapp: $Alyssa222s Venmo: @AlyssaS222 Paypal available on request

Boosting this, thanks all

GOOD EVENING.

Drank some whiskey and built a lil feller.

This would become the most losingest war the US has ever lost.

Don't tease us like that. Don't tease us.

You think the bastard sword was named by the first guy to get killed with it?

"may or may not" It's absolutely may not, but isn't it kind of fun to throw a may in there to give people a little whimsy in their lives?

At 3k followers I will reveal what global aerospace megacorpartion I work for.

@jonbenet-rumsfeld.bsky.social WILL CRUCIFY THE INSINCERE TONIGHT as she initiates OPERATION SMASHING PUMPKIN against Iran's unofficial leader and my ex boyfriend DUMPYTOLLAH. Rumsfeld claims to have evidence that Dumpy is manufacturing nukes at the Al-Shea'Shed site north of Tehran.

THE READINGS ARE OFF THE CHARTS! WE GOT A LEVEL 9,000 AT LEAST, MAYBE MORE!

Sick of these single-target faves. Begging the devs for an AOE fave ability.

how can you expect me to take seriously the hammer and sickle in your bio when you won't even courtesy fave

plz prey fo rme

alright one more

Thank you President Trump for appointing as Special Girly with the Presidential Dork Squad. I look forward to working with two other losers in this venture and eagerly await the trap door to release me into the Great American Corkscrew Slide into the Presidential Trash Bin.

pro tip: if you want to experience the other kind of ‘cruisin usa’ visit men’s bathrooms at parks and rest stops around the nation

WhyBskyTeam: welp, got my dick stuck in the toaster again fml this always happens to me <a few posts later> WhyBskyTeam: WELL WELL WELL looks like the kinkshamers have arrived. people acting like they've never wanted to fuck their toaster before, that's cute. you dipshits just don't get it.

Dudes just don't say "Cruuuuisin yeaaah. Cruising USA yeah" anymore 😔