i fucking bsky'd myself and now i want to die

i mean! i'm sittin here on the group W bench!

he only drinks pbr

huge wet sloppy caesar salads

i asked jesus how big his dick was he said this big then he stretched out his arms and died

me writing like

Reading about the National Guard soldier who ended up dead in DC. From a part of the country that was used up by exploitative industry and left to die, where military service is about all you've got as an option. So you do it, and get killed. Reminds me of a lot of the guys my dad met in Vietnam.

fear and loathing on zootopia

monogamy or as i call it monorailin

decapitate blue checks uwu

you think when popeye eats the spinach and his muscles get all big that his dick also flexes like that

you cannot kill a child pageant war criminal god as foretold by @bzvowell.bsky.social

me and who

i got my salad tossed jon

Tell me what you cherish most. Give me the pleasure of taking it away.

clifford the big red rocket

if your ass were a chinese restaurant id call the health department because clearly this is a huge code violation

calling the butterball hotline to report a home invasion

A theory: all Warren Zevon songs are Thanksgiving songs because Warren Zevon has big Uncle Making A Scene energy

the good thing about restarting my acct is i can recycle old jokes

Sneakerhead who secretly fucks the shoes

running my microwave 12 hours a day straight

erikas knocked up usha aint wearing her ring and jd is probably the father???

i dont think i like felching jon

the good thing is all those accounts that had me blocked are fuuuuuuuughhhed

my fuggin tummy horts

OMG, THE MUSIC GOT FASTER AND HE HAS A SECOND HEALTH-BAR!

SHOCKED LISTENERS! CHILD SUPERMODEL JON BENÉT RUMSFELD IS DEAD! THIS MORNING @cloacadestroyer.bsky.social AND @badposter.lol FOUND LITTLE JON BENÉT DEAD OF AN APPARENT SUICIDE! FURTHER COMPROMISING THE INVESTIGATION INTO THE AS YET UNRELEASED FILES ON THE PAIR! RELEASE THE MEATLORD FILES!

GIVE YE THANKS

this is all will fucking stancils fault

rampage mode activated

you really think you could kill jonbenét rumsfeld