woke!

Gonna start pretending this account is right wing misinformation headlines

𝔸𝕤 𝔸𝕥𝕥𝕒𝕔𝕜𝕤 𝕊𝕥𝕣𝕚𝕜𝕖

i never thought that i, a destitute orphan of mysterious origin, could be the destined chosenborn

good comeback to being politely asked to leave a business

disingenuous to call it “texting and driving” when im clearly on wikipedia

no words, just enjoying each other’s company

???

aunts/uncles = 10 years or more older than you cousins = within 10 years of you on either side niece/nephew = 10 years or more younger than you terms like "first, once removed" are for early modern english people writing a will to see who gets control of their wooden barley mill

putting gas in my car while the pump plays ads for the gas station i’m currently at. good economic system, probably gonna last forever

Weirdly fun to block the White House

Fourt teen dollars 💰

yeah just type in google dot com. ok now put in your question. scroll past the sponsored stuff, those are lies. scroll past the big paragraph where a robot lies to you. oh and put “reddit” at the end to avoid the top-ranked websites that lie to you. if you’re lucky, the reddit post doesnt lie to you

when all is said and done it looks reasonably likely that bin laden will have taken down not just the us but the entire west

“They are highly organized … [they] have purchased their own animal costumes”

> It is 2025 BC. I am a soldier from one of the outlying provinces called to defend the pyramid in Memphis > It is 2025 AD. I am a soldier from one of the outlying provinces called to defend the pyramid in Memphis

the overly wordy ai background song is fucking killing me

I'm the guy who steps on the back of your shoe on purpose. You convinced yourself that i don't exist. "It was probably just an accident." It's not. I do it on purpose

i was so worried something would happen to rfk when everyone thought there was zero chance he’d do any damage. now that he’s actively doing it, it should be fine

I Tell My Therapist What Happens After You Die While The Casino Night Zone Theme Plays On Repeat, Although It's Somewhat Immaterial That It's On Repeat As It Takes Me Less Than Two Minutes To Explain It All So The Song Doesn't Have A Chance To Loop

Lord grant me the confidence of a bluesky mod being told they’re an unbelievable dork by every single user on the site and going “hah. unlikely”

survey size 1000 people. actual headline: 300 People Have Fucked Theyre Phone

no matter what you save this image as, your computer will rename it whoville_sex_pest.jpg. no one is quite sure of how this occurs

due to an ongoing copyright dispute, the character of Bugs Bunny will be temporarily portrayed by “Insects the Bunny”

Generals I have gathered you here today to make sure the military isn't doing anything gay or black

Idk

ok time for dying. time

I'm a lot like Erika Kirk in that I've also forgiven Charlie Kirk's killer

Agents recovered a cache of bullets engraved with the phrase “MAKING HANDSOME KASH PATEL LOOK BAD AND BEING MEAN TO HIM”, indicating a possible motive

the idea of being an undecided voter in america in 2025 is so funny. like let's just legally reclassify you as a dog

I like when james bond does that huge football kick to a guy who's already on the ground. It looks uncalled for but he often has a good reason to do it

they’re building a big statue of ol chuckie kirk on the coast. we must always remember our heritage so that the people of tomorrow don’t think his head is some kind of Blender modelling error

Isn't it obvious? Do you know the number one reason people die in a catastrophe? Do you? They panic.

ohhhhh. if only we’d known the rules

you guys ever get jealous when a celebrity dies and they don’t have to see how all this plays out? just a healthy thought i have sometimes

might actually be worth coming here sometimes now that people are done sucking up to the devs

The evil that men do lives after them

I GOT MY ASS RIPPED OFF AT Aquatica Orlando Waterpark AND ALL I GOT WAS MY ASS RIPPED OFF

(screaming) DISCARD. DISCARD

COLE: COOP, THEY CAUGHT THE CEO SHOOTER. HIS NAME WAS TONY SPAGHETTI, REAL BOY NEXT DOOR. ABS LIKE ADONIS. POLITICAL IDEAS OF A FUTON. PERHAPS THE IDEAL MAN

guided by volcels