I have the hyper specific autism that lets you keep track of details about like 10x the number of people than average and even I tap out at 2k. Any more and the website becomes completely unuseable

The woke college students did not appreciate my commencement address “you will all serve me as I collect your precious fluids” guess another institution of higher learning failed to prepare them for the reality of having a job!

Wool is hair + koolaid dyes hair = I am historys greatest genius

As a guy with half a trillion dollars, I have lots of options: 1. Enjoy a 100% stress-free life doing whatever I please in unfathomable luxury all over the world with people of my choosing 2. Have 87 meltdowns a day on a website

yeah wanting an edit button is real dumb for obvious reason (for one thing I will immediately figure out how to use it for evil) but ALSO its gonna deprive us of "The Grink" style accidental comedy and that's fucking sad

I’m sorry but basically everyone who wants an edit button is the type of person who follows 15,000 accounts and sucks at posting. You don’t need to edit your posts bro! Nobody is reading them!

incredible take from the creator of the cybertruck

Again this is not going to happen but most guys like this will get a good look at one (1) person bleeding out of their eyeballs and immediately Comply With Hantavirus

cursed jazz tonight? cursed jazz tonight queen?????

rude. in my day we called that Italo-disco.

retvrn

Elon just heard they're making one of the keebler elves biracial and got so mad on his jet he threw one of his toddlers out the emergency exit (Cybertodd)

Some of the people interviewed are three-time Trump voters who nonetheless consider themselves political independents who distrust both parties, in case you needed another reminder of what that actually means

Caught in a barb wire fence, twisted sideways, pants ripped down to my ankles. Outsmarted again by gophers. Suddenly, I see dust billowing up from the horizon. It’s a convoy of rental cars! Hundreds of national reporters are on their way to ask me about gas prices and woke

do not ever show me some bull shit like a "capsule wardrobe"

all this odyssey-posting has got me thinking about this again

once like 20 years ago I went out to lunch with my friend, stumbled over the word "soup" and said I was really craving some "chicken drink". Every time she sees me without fail she goes whats up Lux have you had any good CHICKEN DRINK lately

this is the last photo on my parents' video birdfeeder before it was mysteriously destroyed we may never know what happened

I know Bluesky is the backwater lib bubble that will never matter in a million years or whatever but it's funny to note that the Washington Post has its Walgreens Bari Weiss podcast over here farming rage views because their engagement on YouTube is so bad

becoming incandescently pissed off as I realize that Marx was right and it actually is going to take me about 20 yards of fabric to sew a nice coat

Haunted Chillroom starts 8 est dark ambient, drone and other assorted bummer shit

Ok first of all when I heard the name "Linus Tech Tips" I was expecting like a 60 year old grizzled hippie mathematician. So that's just false advertising. Secondly I just heard this fuckin guy refer to the Ozymandias episode of Breaking Bad as "a piece of content"

sure i can take break

Every time I open Bluesky,

straight men have adopted queer men's obsession with appearance that signals to men but with none of the temperance brought on by "i want men to want to fuck me" so they functionally seek kink-signaling bodies with no interest in the kink and then get mad that women find them unappealing

Facebook meme: In the 80s, we wanted The Cure so we got into The Cars and drove to the Culture Club. It was all Talk Talk on the way there 🤪 Every reply: my son is too clothes minded to understand this. he’s even beginning to dislike breads/toast and im starting to become afraid

frankly I have come to believe techies are illiterate. science fiction isn't about the future, stupid. it's about the current political situation but set in space so no one gets mad. duh!

welcome back Meltdown May, this website has the juice

the beauty of this website is that every morning you can wake up to a new bloody civil war with absolutely no indication whether it was incited by someone saying “silk boxers are mid” or “I believe you should be allowed to eat any dog under ten pounds”

"twitter literally became what tumblr used to accuse something awful of being" I gasp raggedly on my deathbed. the year is 2068. nobody has any idea what the fuck I'm talking about

you're laughing. a waymo committed suicide and you're laughing

Iran prepped for the war they're actually fighting. the U.S. opened hostilities expecting a mirror of what happened in Venezuela and have no idea what to do now.

Alright someone has to say it. GTA 6 is gonna suck ass

no, babe. you’re not “defending western civilization.” you are a dip shit

AI is going to replace all human workers but also please make more human workers. We are comic book villains who openly want to reduce the country's population to 100m. Please have sex space cowboy

The nice thing about games is that there’s five million of them released every week that you’ll never be able to finish. If you’re annoyed by one sucking up air you can just play a Tales game, a DOOM mod by a guy with an undiscovered form of OCD or a city builder where you make homes for gay mice.

Taking the night off from streaming (cat diarrhea incident shaved two years off my life)

Saw a TV at Microcenter with motion smoothing turned on and one of the clerks was looking at it very concerned.