i’m so happy for my partners that aloof wives are in right now because that end of day vyvanse crash makes me aloof as hell

virgin classic scientific text: out-of-print, in three libraries in a restricted collection for review by appointment chad classic magical text: constantly pirated cheap versions in an old bad translation, one premium version that costs $500,000 in a new good translation with commentary

it depends on the day, but frequently…

i’ve decided my supervillain name is “Exquisite Brick”

hey June, I have a new project out, if you're still into my music a year later

Puppygirl Aleister Crowley - call her the Master Therian

reporter 1: i heard aleister crowley consorts with the devil reporter 2: i heard he eats babies! aleister crowley: yeah! i heard he [redacted]s [redacted]s and then [redacted]s their [redacted]! reporters: whoOoOooaAa! [enter three new members of the A.’.A.’.]

i reckon i’m among the top 5% coolest doctors on this website, even after the drop from making this post

noisy miner in tree next to my house: *posting to bluejay* HEY PRETTY LADY, I HATE TO SEE YOU GO BUT I LOVE TO WATCH YOU LEAVE SEND TWEET

i sure can’t 😅

australian check AM I EVER GONNA SEE YOUR FACE AGAIN?!

may the forcemeat be with u

blowbang with the Grecian Muses where each one titteringly declares herself the Muse of "painting" before unloading herself onto your face

I'm like a top but for the kink of getting rejected by women call that a spurn-donor

whatever game you decide to run in this war of post, be sure you meet the requisite smarts and cunning for it short on either and you’ll be main character ere long

I want to hire @veradrew22.bsky.social to remake Michael Jackson's MOONWALKER (1988)

‘tis not the posting hour, child pray you return to your rest until your posting fury begins anew

god

one time at Verizon they asked how to use the sales flowchart sheets they'd given us and i said "scribble on them until your manager stops looking at you and then close the sale" and then no one laughed and i turned around and the district manager had come in behind me just then. i was right though

this is what it looks like on my phone every time someone tries to do this meme the fart drugs 🤝 machine are cool

she's a 10 but she thinks

one mole made a molehill twice as big as another mole and lorded it over that fucking scrub mole for the rest of their days which showed that submole scum who was boss both molehills were destroyed the very next day

okay, but did she switch careers or did she get fired again for saying an obvious truth about something in front of her boss’s boss lol

fuckin my robot gf so good she makes the dial-up modem sound

i came as close to this as i could in my discipline lol

it’s so weird when a film transfer is super grainy but also the image behind all that grain is clearer than you’ve ever seen for that movie before

so i see a lot of people asking LLMs directly why it did something wrong and… is anyone checking the truthfulness of the information they provide on that? like, it can’t do an analysis, it can only reply with statistically likely tokens based on prompt history - why would that be accurate?

ME: look, we're all adults here. can't we just calm down and chat about something inoffensive like, idk, turtles? MARIO "SUPER" MARIO ABOUT TO FISTFIGHT ME OUTSIDE A NEW JERSEY DIVE BAR AT 2:15 AM: alright motherfucker, let's-a go!

how dare you read my body language, that was a rough draft!

I want to repost this 20 times

This post has summoned the dinofuckers

remember Mack? he’s back! in knife form

i am safe from various devils because my soul sluttiness is such a turn off

while the most obvious joy of reading the league of extraordinary gentlemen is when you pick up on a reference, another good one is when you can understand juuuust enough of the dialogue in another language to figure out a joke

have you ever considered recursive consideration?

one time i saw an ad where they had a character trying to meditate but all they kept thinking about was errands and i was shocked that such everyday things would be the distractions rather than a constant stream of mind’s eye shitposts

you know that feeling when you focus on relaxing and you can feel your hands and feet relax a little more than usual and just all the little muscles and tendons in them get a tiny extra stretch?

sometimes i think about keeping a diary, but i fear it would lead to me pattern recognising my bullshit

gengar glen ross

there are drugs in this world for those with eyes to see

which is more hostile to humans - the average domesticated dog or the average wolf? 🤔

current pack of estrogen gel hasn’t had the notches cut deep enough to tear it open with my bare hands, so i have to use scissors like- uh, not an animal?

we know of The Goku and The Solid Snake in the new global religion. i would like to fulfil the prophecy of the trinity of guys by proposing… The Brak

please help convince me that it is a bad idea to spend way too much money on a joke for a work meeting safety share about how we shouldn’t go so over the top in our work meeting safety shares. thank you.

is there anything sweeter than taking the wind out of the sails of someone who thinks they are better than you?

reading machiavelli's "the count", and working my way up

i’ve been reading the league of extraordinary gentlemen: black dossier, and i’m puzzled why anyone thinks it is boring. i’ve even seen people accuse it of not having a story, which is an utterly bizarre claim.

there's a zhuang for that

it is a major problem that people demand to “see the numbers” about things while having no statistical literacy at all. no, you aren’t making better decisions just because you based your vibes on some numbers that are completely fucking random(negative affect) as far as you know.