"you miss 100% of the tops you don't take" — bottom philosopher

before you get dinner you have to get 2 signed referrals from a clinical psychologist. the waitlist is 26 years, but also we lose 4% of the files every year and make them reapply. off you go then

did you know that almost all hungry babies are prescribed powerful nutritive agents without even a single doctor's visit? and 99% of them go on to become lifelong eaters, totally dependent on continued sustenance just to function day to day we need to do a clinical trial on this, urgently

i don't know who needs to hear this but the average human has thousands of conceivably medically relevant pieces of information and "AFAB or AMAB?" is a single bit not only does it inaccurately portray the medical circumstances of trans and/or intersex people, it's wrong for most everyone else too!

algorithm STUNS user by ordering array in flawless O(n•log n)

Keir Starmer Resigns Amid ‘Not Being Very Good Prime Minister’ Scandal

"when our turn comes, we will make no excuses for the—oh geez am i being annoying right now? no? okay, just checking, because sometimes i—nevermind, i'm rambling. uh, where was i? no excuses for the terror, no worries if not. yeah, that was it" —millennial karl marx

It is monstrous to support genocide and it is not dehumanizing to call someone that based on their views sorry

September 2024. I know pretending stuff like this doesn’t matter and isn’t salient in any way is a load-bearing pillar of mainstream political punditry in the UK, but I would really like people to grapple with the possibility that Starmer was a nasty, vindictive prick and everyone could see it.

*homestar runner voice* twansgendaw

I Bought This After Elon Called That Diver A Paedo But Before He Did The Nazi Salute At The Inauguration

99% mao be like "women hold up 49.5% of the sky"

sorry for being too normal. i didn't ask to be so normal that it's weird, it just happened 😞 i'm going to do my best to be weirder, so as to be more normal. but it's a struggle for me, so please be patient

it was literature pub quiz night and our team name "flowers for algae gone" didn't get a single laugh, this isn't the country i grew up in

Yeah I actually think the list of specific people who trashed Earth orbit is less than 1 page long. This is like saying that "humanity" filed my taxes late.

hello please do not do any impressions of me, i do not want to be perceived. thank you

it's so sad that keir starmer died of exploded dick after accidentally punching himself in the dick with a bowling ball while attempting to kill & eat a roadrunner (the roadrunner was, frankly, very rude about the whole dicksplosion situation)

Centrist Americans being mystified by Kier Starmer's unpopularity despite him doing everything they're always telling Democrats to do is so funny. Just the biggest dumbasses around.

politics-knowers are always saying stuff like "i don't understand why the people didn't love Mr Starve-And-Arrest-Your-Nan"

sad to hear of the passing of keir starmer who died from jacking off his hideous little pebis too hard and going hog wild on that nasty thing. I hope he finds peace

today is a great day to tell keir starmer he only has to live with the shame as long as he chooses to!

you'd think that after the 30th cis centrist tacked hard into transphobia and *still* got called a tranny by the right they might realise that it was never going to win them any esteem but a centrist by their nature will never realise anything they are not spoonfed

i'm going to get a good grade in bouncing on it, a thing that is both normal to want and possible to achieve

hello if you are an artist and you feel like whipping up a quick shitpost could you please draw Solid Snake under a cardboard box walking the other direction past Pandorobou inside a load of bread, thank you

the national guardsmen deployed to protect the pool are all like 5'5" so there are a bunch of antifa supersoldiers casually windmill dunking more algae into the water down there this morning. the soldiers are yelling and crying but helpless to stop them

[boonta vista voice] finding yourself reflexively echoing podcast segments is a kind of vocal stim, we talk about vocal stims in.. Stim Watch [a capella version of <Blank> Watch intro plays]

i don't know what this means and you can too

Logging on to Bluesky

javascript makes me feel insane sometimes. who the fuck decided that Array.toString() should just be each element's .toString() joined by a comma, so nested arrays get flattened and such like what is the point of this. fuckin... why

begging all the democracy-fetishists to look up "tyranny of the majority", "monopoly on violence", "elite capture", etc. to understand some of the problems with relying on elections like, i get that you think we're all just petulant children, but we've actually put a lot of thought into this

dang cheeto in the green house. dang greeno in the white house? green cheeto in the dang house. refelctin pul :(

this is your mission. our pedophile president needs you to show up in full combat gear on a hot summer day to the pool he filled with algae because he gave a paint job to one of his cigar puffing cronies. you are ordered to stop tourists from touching the green water. good luck soldier

excuse me mr keir starmer sir, i have a suggestion for how you can make your resignation press conference an unforgettable experience. it involves one final announcement about low tax...

okay that's enough silly bs, time for bed!

another pro tip: blood bags are a specific type of bag, not just any bag that's filled with blood

benjamin button reboot where he uses his reverse aging to beat facial recognition systems, becoming the world's greatest 12 year old assassin

pro tip: you can press buttons on a computer and the things attached to it to make stuff happen

With alt text

a thing i enjoy about the writing in Elder Scrolls Online is how many quests there are that include a bit like "yes it would have been trivially easy for our soldiers to defend us from this daedric invasion, except they're presently all getting killed for no fucking reason in cyrodiil rn"

mein gott, eine twinkmoder!

you vs the spline he tells you not to reticulate about

too much sad, i need to start posting more silly bullshit again

i wish i was as detached and cynical as people accuse leftists of being. it'd make it much easier to bear all the death & misery i see everywhere i look

hey quick question. will voting bring back all the people who died while you were waiting for your chance to vote

i went to Omerta Island and nobody knew you

would you still love me if i became a Creature

"i came. i screamed. i skedaddled" — julius caesar if he was a cat

just to be clear: if a random, totally powerless student said something like this about Israel it would draw international condemnation of every vaguely left individual in their country, who would be forced to disavow the student every time they made any kind of public statement