libbing the fuck out at the pitt every week

I know we all hate slop but I think they’re low key cooking with this shit actually

think I just got hit on the uber pool. feeling like carrie Bradshaw I’ve discovered a new place to meet men

I’ve had an extremely long day, coming down with a bad illness, plane delayed, and the boomer next to me on my flight is liking every second Facebook post he sees with the sound on. pop pop pop. I’ll literally kill you

Ear doctor: Don’t use Q-Tips Me already imagining putting a screw driver I found in the driveway in my ear when I get home: I womt

This is a beautiful portrait from the inimitable @ricksteves.bsky.social of the people who are suffering in Iran, both under its theocracy and from our nation's warmongering.

me looking at the shitty little brownie in the virgin domestic lounge

Fun time!!!!! I cannot WAIT to get into my own bed and watch the Pitt!!!

Sydney pubs where a glass of wine costs nineteen dollars:

A man with a very thick Yorkshire accent at the pub just said ‘he called me a fat sweaty cunt… I want that man to be no more’

they invented the ‘luteal phase’ on TikTok a year ago to dull our sparkle ladies. don’t believe their lies!!!!!

Sydneycels won’t admit their city is more humid and disgusting than Brisbane. sad

Got it. I'm sorry for your loss. To clarify: You want a eulogy for your father that's 𝘂𝗻𝗶𝗾𝘂𝗲, sounds 𝘀𝗺𝗮𝗿𝘁, and captures the 𝗹𝗼𝘃𝗲 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝗵𝗶𝗺. I get it. He wasn't just your father — he was your Dad. Here a few options I came up with:

logged onto overwatch for the first time in 3 years and it’s just like riding a bike

some days it’s just me and my can of white monster against the world

he’s my glup shitto

just smelled Vera Wang Princess in the bar bathrooms and got flashbacks so aggressive I think I’ve time travelled

last lot of tickets left for our show in Sydney - I’m gonna drink the perfect amount of wine on stage (somewhere between 2 and 9 glasses)

OBI WAN: you don't need to see his identification STORM TROOPER (getting really hot in the suit): fine. move along. OBI WAN: and these aren't the droids you're looking for STORM TROOPER (lunch break was supposed to be an hour ago): i truly do not fucking care man. think for one second about my life

seeing a lot of heated rivalry girlies having the unfortunate first experience of realising what hockey players are actually like

there’s a nasty horrid little demon on my shoulder and it keeps telling me to allow Overwatch back into my life

ovulation pain is the worst. you can’t complain to your friends bc then they’ll know you’re all hornt up!!!!!!!

for a really long time watching hockey I thought there was just a quebecois guy called J’Accuse

going to bed is low key goated when being sleepy is the vibe

Let’s fucking gooooo

TGIDPF (thank god it’s da Pitt friday)

I see stellan skarsgård as my father in law

LIVE LIVE LIVE SYDNEY SYDENY SENDY BIGSOFTTITTY.PNG + BOONTA VISTA ONE NIGHT ONLY POWERFUL SEXUAL HEALING WILL BE DELIVERED BEAMS OF LIGHT WILL SHOOT OUT OF AUDIENCE MEMBERS MARCH 5TH 2026 CAROUSEL BAR AND BALLROOM

think I understand road rage now bc some loser in an oversized American car honked & yelled at me at me while turning INTO the street I was already crossing and I told him to kill himself. an hour later though and I’d still say it. I hope he’s dead

microplastics make me strong and healthy. yours is a skill issue

get in folks we’re goin DRIVEING

you can’t tell me this isn’t fetish content

THAT’S RIGHT SYDNEY! @demilardner.bsky.social! @tomwalker.bsky.social! @lucyxiv.boontavista.com! @aynrandy.boontavista.com! Ben who isn’t on Bluesky! And me! MARCH 5TH TICKETS AT: boontavista.com/live

this is exactly what being 35 feels like

decluttering before the lunar new year (removing movies from my watchlist I was recommended by people whose film opinions I do not respect)

i've been rewatching SaTC all week while working and it must be said Charlotte has a LOT to say for someone with that kind of body count

good morning

Happy Valentine’s Day from the Star Trek Deep Space Nine baseball card of Odo having sex for the first time

Pillion was such a delight, beautiful horny film, but I also think it should not be legal for Alexander Skarsgard to look the way he does. he must be destroyed

happy valentines from me & the Alex Trebek hearts

tried out using 'framemogged' on the podcast today it felt great

Time to really fuck up someone’s Valentine’s Day

how do you stop your tummy from hurting without quitting coffee or alcohol or ordering the spiciest thing on the menu or feeling stressed out all the time

saw wuthering heights last night and it must go soooo hard if you're horny but have never had sex before and are also stupid

Chadwick Boseman and James van der Beek both died in their 40s of an illness that's treatable if a colonoscopy catches it but almost no insurer covers them for people under 45, this is what Engels meant by "social murder"

Boomers will repost ‘what happen to good manners an respect’ on facebook and then go talk through an entire movie at the cinema

being single is great up until you need your spine cracked like a glow stick. you should be able to go to the massage parlour and pay a guy like 5 bucks to do that

it’s so cool how alpha male posting culture found a way to bring back disordered eating but just for the fellas

drafts are a cowards game sorry