Pussy like an abalone (needs to be pounded before you can eat it)

Six episodes in to Pluto (2023). This is just “Astro Boy Watchmen,” isn’t it?

Fucking hate when the cops tell me that my wife and child are just implanted memories.

“Packers Vs Bears, only on Prime!” Is this a gay thing?

I have to change the way I hold stuff now because my boobs are too big.

I like to think I’d be a good drug addict.

I know I shouldn’t vape weed while I have Covid, but this whole “consciousness” thing is a real downer.

As a Jewish trans woman, I just wanna clarify: I am not transing your kids. I am only using their blood to make my matzos.

EVERYBODY SKA

movies should either be an hour and a half long or 3+ hours, no in between

When we’re being marched at gunpoint into the gas chambers, I’ll be able to look back on my life and think “I really should’ve spent more time harassing trans women on social media.”

Saw “2h45m” for One Battle After Another and quickly decided that I am not *that* interested in seeing it.

“Hahaha, well,”

Wait, so I get a free shirt if I just show you my tits?

Has anyone ever mentioned that having Covid feels like fuckin shit?

This is the message I’m gonna put out when I finally get that orgy planned.

Heated Rivalry S2 needs a Jared Keeso cameo.

I love capitalism because I am thinking of calling out tomorrow *because I have covid* and I’m already anxious about “letting the team down.”

Explaining to Gianmarco Soresi that I, too, was a gay-seeming straight man.

Algorithm is giving me ads for Vaseline. I can only assume the next ad will be for Crisco.

I wish that, on top of the world rapidly collapsing, I was not also sick.

Algorithm keeps showing me Dr. Who content. I promise you, I am not that kind of queer, and I am not that kind of neurodivergent.

Fun fact from a Jew: this is the stupidest fucking thing I have heard in my life.

I have been sitting at home recuperating from surgery, and now I have Covid. I just wanna get out there and slobber on some dick and pussy, is that so much to ask?

Hey, if you’re a repressor and you have the ability and resources to transition but are too scared to actually do it? You’re a coward. You’re a coward. You’re a fucking coward. “Oh, some people can’t for safety.” This is not about them. This is about cowards.

Angry because DC comics did not appreciate my unsolicited Legion of Superheroes pitch focusing on the newly re-named Pussy-Eater Lad.

Whatever happened to that one douchebag who insists that he’s trans but chooses not to transition… and then attacks and yells at the women who have more courage than he’ll ever have?

I, for one, would’ve just made a mod that gives KK Slider a massive dong.

Talked with my elderly mother about politics, and she said she was glad that she probably won’t live to see the worst of what’s coming. I told her that I probably won’t either.

I want to vape, but I have covid. If I had tincture or some extra edibles, this wouldn’t be a problem.

My Brother, My Brother, and Me: Special Low Frequency Edition

Actual exchange from court today: Me: I can't do January 20 for the hearing, your honor, because I'm having surgery, but I can do [dates in February] Judge: Ordinarily I'd accommodate medical issues, but not for people like you. Attend from the hospital if you have to.

Not gonna be able to afford a hair transplant, but I’ve been using rogaine again after FFS and I’m seeing some new hair there. It’s not gonna be perfect, or fast, but it is improving a little, and that’s something.

Yeah I did get Covid the first day back to work.

“Best of both worlds”? Damn, Hannah Montana just like me fr.

I fucking hate professionalism. No one at work is allowed to comment on my new tits, and I’m not allowed to mention them. Unacceptable.

Yes. this is the best idea. Nothing could go wrong. This won't irreversibly change your relationship at all.

With the complete lack of response to the Venezuela situation, I have given up on there being any meaningful resistance to the Trump agenda. I can’t imagine what will happen, but I know it’s not going to be good.

Porn is funny. It's funny when women shoot tennis balls out of their cooch. It's funny when people fart on cakes. It's funny when someone pees in ur butthole.

Back to work tomorrow morning after a month off for BA. I am definitely coming down with Covid, which is extremely funny.

╔═╦══╦═╗ xx Put this on your ║╩╣║║║║║ page if you are emo ╚═╩╩╩╩═╝ or support emos xx

the deceptively simple pasta dish caca e peepee

If I hit 3000 followers by 2026 I think I'm just done with panties I mean, I already basically am...

keeping it simple. no need for big, important thoughts anymore. single words. rub. leak. drool. dumber.

We should all aspire to be like civil rights hero FUTA LOVING COCK MASTER

Knuckle tats: “AUTO / BAHN”

Winning an award for being the first openly trans failure.

I used to think we were gonna win eventually but damn, I don’t know. I hope we all make it through.

Making extremely niche drag as “Weenie Feldstein.”

Cliteon the 69th, Book One of the Locked Womb cycle, by Hustler Video.