men will really go on the public internet and show more sympathy for a guy who got exposed for being a rapist and domestic abuser than for literally any of his victims

following this account was a big mistake

CEO Reveals How He Used AI To Build One-Person Company That's $1.3 Billion In Debt

my beautiful purple coleus got destroyed over night during a storm and I'm very sad about it

squirt people squirt people

I don't know what to call the specific political tendency represented by Ryan Grim, Ken Klippenstein, Matt Stoller, Michael Tracey, Glenn Greenwald, Matt Taibbi, and Zaid Jilani, mostly because words sort of fail, but it isn't "the Left."

19th century Ryan Grim: Based on the orderly nature of the stab wounds, “the ripper” is a highly inaccurate name. Its journalistic malpractice to not give “Jack” credit for minimizing suffering and killing painlessly 19th century Michael Tracey: I think these bitches alive 💯

they're putting my ass through the announcers table tomorrow

This logic, if widely accepted, could make homosexuality more acceptable to Christians while at the same time making threesomes a whole lot cooler.

I know this is not enforceable but I think anyone who says anything like, "I believe women but I am suspicious that this woman is particular is paid/coming forward for attention" should have to cite examples of multiple women who have made money & success out of accusing high-profile men of rape.

I assume the glasses didn’t help.

DAWG WE'RE DOING STATE-RUN GAS PRICES AT PRICE CONTROLLED RATES DESPITE INCREASING SHORTAGES TO PACIFY THE PEOPLE AND THEY'RE SCREAMING ABOUT HOW THEIR OPPONENTS WANT COMMUNISM I AM GOING TO LOSE MY ENTIRE GODDAMN MIND

crystal pepsi is a beautiful name for a girl

They’re calling it the first beneficial use case

alright I'm sick of reading about platner let's get back to what matters

Could be us

2026: rationing toothpaste because it's $10 a tube now

i don't care who you are, getting dragged on bluesky and then running to twitter to post about it is bitchmade behavior

staffer: "senator mcconnell's office" me, calling from my louisville area code cell phone: "hi, i was just wondering. is Senator McConnell alive?" staffer: (pause,sigh) "we appreciate your concern, we can pass that message along" me: "oh i'm not concerned, just wondering" staffer: (pause) "we appre

if you're a meme account and you post a cropped screenshot of a post from the onion, you should have your meme license revoked

And I know I’m always making this point but someone who abuses their power in individual relationships will abuse the power you give them politically so “he’s bad but I support his policies so who cares” doesn’t hold water with me

23 year old "internet history" influencer in 2052: so uh, in today's vid we're discussing the 2020s niche social media site bluesky. now they had this term called "skeets," which was a reference to the practice of launching one's rivals into the air and shooting them with a rifle

I feel so relieved I've never trusted anyone or thought anything good would happen. Blessed

in the future everyone will have learned their lesson and will think twice about weighing in on maine politics

I'm not complaining about the Bluesky monoculture but it's always funny when something like this happens and my entire feed fills up with nothing but people saying "I told you so!!!" to other people who also told you so

Hostess Discontinues Physical Twinkies https://theonion.com/hostess-discontinues-physical-twinkies/

I have some advice for people finding out that the World Cup is a work, just enjoy the storylines, that’s the real fun of it.

Minimum wage job: 12 hours of delicate, finicky, painful hard work Medium wage job: 8 hours a day of delicate, annoying hard work. With emails CEO of company: 4 hours of gooning to his AI secretary with a suspiciously childlike face, with word salad about quantum physics and how smart he is

“He then put her license plate details on a surveillance “hotlist,” meaning he would get a notification in real time anytime she drove by an AI-powered license plate surveillance camera.”

theyre fuckung doing this to me!!!!!!!!

it feels insane that tales from the crypt wasn't streaming anywhere before shudder just put it up recently. such huge actors in it too. s2e1 has Demi Moore and the dog that played Ernest's dog Rimshot I think

It goes all the way to the almost top. Get the truth now with The Haggerty Show.

lol

I love the fireworks that just sound like someone blew up a barrel

Not to be dramatic but i dont celebrate a single thing in my life im not gonna change my entire mindset personality and behavior … in the middle of the summer

LIVE FIREWORKS REACTION

Peter Thiel has James Bond strapped to a table, some sort of lethal contraption getting to mangle Bond Thiel: well Bond I… i uh i uhhhgh well uhhh i you see i uh uhh uhh the thing is well i uh but but but but but well i i i i i i but uhhhh but well i uh but uh Peter Thiel begins sweating profusely

Off we go into the wild pale yonder.

Bad news, America.

Happy Birthday America 🗽🚬

I love sending a portion of my money to help war refugees and another portion of it to the government to manufacture more of them.

dick's nice and all but clean your room you nasty bitch!

Late Night monologue September 14, 1995 : 268s

X is all racists Threads is a snoozer But

The mailman says if I don't get any mail soon he's gonna break my legs

I don’t want to “remember a password.” I want to carry around a giant ring of jangling keys

it’s called hot dog fashion reference