should be luging head to crotch imo

Chat, is it good that after seeing the unredacted Epstein files a sitting congressman made a point to post that’s he’s not suicidal

MIKE TIRICO: You say you’re an Olympics Traditionalist and the Olympics should return to its roots. ME: Yes that’s correct. TIRICO: Which traditions are you referring to? ME: I think you know which one Mike Tirico TIRICO: … ME: *smiling while thinking “Athletes should compete nude”

standing by for comment from the harper's letter signatories

i often think about this review

submitting my best posts as part of my annual faculty evaluation

Quirked up white boy with a little bit of spleen busting it down nautical style… is he goated with the ‘ceti ?

Suburban wine moms will really be like "you believe in voting? that pales in effectiveness to my strategy, firebombing a concentration camp" and then very effectively firebomb a concentration camp

You should need a license to use social media and I should be in charge of the licensing process, which I would deliberately make as complex, Byzantine and time-consuming as a Jim Crow Literacy Test.

Nice anti-socialist talking point bro, you must know a lot of rich pedophiles in the ownership class

running DHS like it’s amy’s bakery

My first reaction to this news is to immediately punch left. I am very normal and you should take me seriously.

Sad news out of D.C. Mistaken for a malevolent cryptid, Pennsylvania Sen. John Fetterman was bludgeoned to death by an angry mob near the National Zoo. His corpse was later deposited in a nearby port-a-potty.

follow up

One of English culture's great achievements is its ability to invent names for its food that sound both disgusting and perverted

Good morning everyone let’s get that bag (poster’s madness)

four managers in one season has to be a record right

"i promise right now, years away from an election, to vote for an awful shitbag bigot because he isn't the other guy" shut da fuck up. you are making things worse

There’s going to be a character based on Will Stancil in Fargo season 7

Left the Oregon football, but removed the wedding photo. God damn.

Still thinking about that email from the Epstein Files that claimed Hakeem Jeffries is known as the "Brooklyn Barack"

*Breaking* The date by which every single pardoned J6er will be in jail for committing a different crime has been moved up from Feb. 4, 2028 to Nov. 16, 2027

when i've finished an article and now i have to learn a new style guide

I get that the fans turned on him, but firing Thomas Frank is insane business

body cams should fix this

Her: I didn’t shave, I hope you don’t mind Me:

[watching the sun rise and pouring that first cup of coffee]: Time to see what dumb shit happened while I was asleep!

the indiana jones trilogy is better than any star wars trilogy

No son, they are not "magically delicious." The workers made them delicious. This is a slogan meant to mystify the social conditions of labor

Some personal news: I've been promoted to Senior Loadmaster in the Air National Guard, which, coincidentally, happens to be the exact same job title I have in my civilian life at the Dicksucking Factory

I would say that you hate to see Tottenham doing so poorly but that’s just not true

"the public policy case for prediction markets"

Another Cole Palmer penalty huh

Age verification? I used to buy weed from a guy who drove a 1975 Oldsmobile Cutlass Salon

the people’s dilbert issue #28

So it turns out that True Detective s1 was a documentary

Presenting Trump a gold plaque that reads "ONE MILLION" in big letters and "mentions in the Epstein files" in small letters and getting myself appointed ambassador to Poland

Mongo Like Candy

My "We Left Epstein's Island With All of our Kids" shirt is raising a lot of questions already answered by my shirt