Too bad. You missed out on hearing “Hero Of The Day” by Metallica.

few people remember that on September 12, 2001 the only song that radio stations could legally play was Metallica’s “Hero Of The Day”

it occurs to me that if the author george orwell were to write the book nineteen eighty-four today, it would be necessary for him to entitle it nineteen six-seven

the only good age verification law would be one that limits internet access to people born between 1976 and 1991

its the 21st century. we eating macroplastics now

the tim hortons of being earnest

doing the I Finally Understand What This Song Means meme with bawitdaba

No Kings includes prisons of my own making

sorry guys i accidentally put Tiger Woods 2003 and GTA Vice City in my xbox together again

ive done it. it took four years of meticulous craftwork but ive done it. ive come up with the perfect joke. here it is. daaaaamn, they better start calling will smith “paper” because he just beat rock

yeah im bummed about sora. bummed i sora bunch of stupid fake videos

im at the dallas. im at the fort worth. im at the combination dallas and fort worth

if america worried about “theater security” as much as they do about “security theater” may theyd still have abe lincoln

chuck norris has been executed by iran

art community in shock as banksy revealed to suck

*jeff goldblum voice* that is one big heap of imogen

*smells like teen spirit voice* venezuela

“Esperanto estas terura” - THA_ESPERANT0_H8R

katy perry and justin trudeau had a baby. yeah. its called “left wing shark”

on every episode of Sheriff Country one criminal stops another short and says “shhhh. this is Sheriff Country”

ladies and gentlemen, it gives me no pleasure to announce that bam adebayo has been Cancelled from basketball for the Sin of being Classless

yeah im a pacifist. id like to pass a fist through your face

roses are red goo goo dolls sang iris and i dont want the world to see me cause i have the ebola virus

cut my life into pieces

*laughing blithely* oh im racist. but i try not to let it define me

sure it costs three hundred dollars to fill my gas tank but at least a bunch of people got to die needlessly

it appears, once again, that pobodys nerfect

look, in the coming days and weeks youre going to hear a bunch of things said about me by various bad actors like police, prosecutors, witnesses and so on

theyre calling him Qanon Hughes now

we have nothing to fear but snowballs themselves

today is the day he truly became presinuld

SCIENCE FACT: if you say “theyre calling me the goated unc in the group chat“ to your teenage daughter the court will expedite her emancipation petition

Elmo has entered the battle for the Moon chat

i am pleased to report that the olympic dog has been humanely euthanized

cause its ash wednesday check it and see i mark my forehead in the shape of a T

the olympics were invented in 1919 by hubert olympics who wanted to give countries even more meaningless fights than war

Trump prepared to take more mature approach to international relations, says galpal

good news. ive reinforced my preconceived notions!

cause im pam bondi check it and see protecting pedos cause the dow is up three

cause im bad bunny check it and see im singing songs in spanish on your tv

smithers, im really enjoying this so-called “sammed arnold”

please dont put that i got booed at the olympics in the newspaper

considering buying low on america

The Thin Blue Monday

steve bannon is so fat that when he surrounds the polls, he SURROUNDS the polls

JE: come on down to littel st jmes its my island feb 1 throguh six PUNXSUTAWNEY PHIL: Jeffrey, you are well aware that I have a prior arrangement in those days. You can’t be serious. JE: lots of shados to see here u looser

Fwd: RE: FWD: Re: girsl

my family requests privacy during this difficult time