kicked out of the ann of green gables house for peeing in lucy maud montgomerys childhood chamber pot

people on this app will post anything. “the baby never wore these shoes.” yes he did. that isn’t true.

the reflecting pool is green with envy over how much winning trump is doing

got sent back in time to 1939 to kill hitler. unfortunately i accidentally set the machine to 1993. so i did the next best thing. i found Deep Blue Something and told them that mutual enjoyment of the film Breakfast at Tiffany’s is insufficient for grounding a flourishing relationship

todays world cup recap

maybe iran should have focused on closing the straight path of the ball into their net

oh i get it now. its soccers answer to the world baseball classic

if carter hart didnt want to lose he shouldnt have dressed like that

im just glad the celebs are happy

HILLARY CLINTON: i may not be the san antonio spurs, but i can blow a double digit lead

i am treating the use of correct vocabulary with the upmost concern

FOX NEWS, 1979: Ayatollah Khomeini Calls America “Great”

other than that, how was the basketball game, mrs trump

nobody on their deathbed says “i wish i worked more“. lots of people on their deathbeds say “i wish i started a cover band called Beautiful Oblivion: A Loving Tribute To Eve 6”

fool me once by the rocks that you got, shame on you. fool me twice by the rocks that you got, shame on me

this isnt funny. presidents only do this when theyre very patriotic and strong

my screenplay is a real “fish out of water” story. the main character immediately asphyxiates and dies

things have been going great ever since we killed god

*drowning pool voice* let the bodies keep the score

been spending most their lives livin on the starship enterprise

consoling the beastie boys by reminding them that they still possess several porno mags of lesser quality

*jeb bush voice*

what did blue origin know about the clintons

seems like the only real cancel culture is anyone booked for this event

going to jail for saying “flosted frakes“

just realized what will happen. trump will attend the wedding tomorrow and some polymarket account that was opened today will win twenty billion dollars

president trump just cares too much about his beautiful country to worry about his idiot sons doomed marriage

you think censorship is bad now? back in the 90s kid rock was going to share his literal only words of wisdom in the song Cowboy and they freaking radio edited them out

my neck my back “my wife” voice of borat

CUT MY LIFE INTO PIECES

grogu has sadly passed away five years to the day after receiving the covid vaccine

once upon a time was a cop in a mall then he found his way in our hearts im watching on youtube and laughing at clips of paul blart

vancouver canucks announce they are trading their 3rd overall pick for their 24th overall pick. “by moving our 24th pick up to third, we force all teams after us to draft low-first round players, thereby leaving more quality prospects available for when we draft third later” says ryan johnson

hold up. youre telling me these Wheats are Mini? ive literally never seen this much Wheat

cheers to the detroit pistons for forcing a game seven. jeers to my wife for having a months-long emotional but not physical affair with her coworker

hey john. its your cousin marvin. marvin cage! you know that new sound youve been looking for? well listen to this *hangs up phone*

well, my name is drake and im here to say i have personal issues with the nba

cause its free diapers check it and see they cost no money and they hold poo and pee

i spent 10000 hours online to prove malcolm gladwell wrong

rip to doug exeter. beheaded by his teenage daughter after hearing her listening to noah kahan and saying “oh so thats what happened to mumfords sons”

if you are a fan of the vegas golden knights you are a pervert. no way around it

scent from my iPhone

holding up a bag of giant marshmallows in the grocery aisle and asking strangers “how do they grow them this big?!”

im taking blocks and its not fun i fought online and online won

pronounced the word menus as though it rhymes with venus and got kicked out of the restaurant

i can see why

not going to virtue signal by wishing my mom a happy mothers day

america has never really figured out how to kill the right kennedys