looking forward to the novelisation, The Prophets We Know To Be Small

it's a nice reminder that there really is every type of guy on here - a ride or die for Brewdog fan who thinks their collapse is a great conspiracy (((Big Beer)))

also not to be too earnest on main but I cannot tell you how badly I need Matt Goodwin to lose greens, labour, honestly even tories, I don't give a shit if it means Goodwin crying,

manifesting hotties in tight black turtlenecks this year

love the day after Valentine's Day, making sandwiches with the leftover roses

Fuck off, Hilary Cass.

While Tony Blair famously hosted Noel Gallagher in Downing Street, Gordon Brown invited Spinal Tap, and they turned up to No. 11.

praising you with faint damnation

must be utterly amazing and horrible to have an email account that is just like, [email protected]

I so ardently wish that was me.

I love the ambiguity which possibly implies that the cock was so inflated it killed his ex-partner?? www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle...

always can tell I've had a h*rny valentine's day because my For You timeline is just full of horn, it's like a hangover for filth a hungover if you will

don't really think it's fair for Marisa Abela to wear that Marie Antoinette costume really, doesn't seem right to make me horny for aristos

babe don't be sad about valentine's day you have perfect tits

call me microsoft the way i Excel at looking up her V

on this Valentine's Day, it's important to remember that the most intimate thing you can do with a partner is to be emotionally vulnerable the second-most intimate thing is rimming

if u post too much on threads they say you have threadworms

That's weird, she just told me that she didn't even race today.

Kirsty Muir is ridiculously cute jesus christ

Can't stop pronouncing harbour like Matt Damon pronounces Harvard in Good Will Hunting

Valentine's Day is also the day for thirstfollowing new accounts

You can't fool me this is just Billy Crudup in Almost Famous (2000)

think I'd be posting hog on main within the first 48 hours

Most important subject goes up front. Real photo postcard from my collection, no date/info.

time to slide into... Valentine's Night 😏 😏 😏

Fuck sake saw the black and white photo and got my hopes up

time to upgrade that goth gf to a vladwife

sorry just saw the phrase "lady mutuals" and it made my skin crawl

dude looks a bit like a vampire so he'd crush on here

happy valentine’s day

wow he looked just like a tree

I still think part of the bulwark against getting too drawn into social media drama is just to simply post horny and post stuff to amuse yourself And turn off basically all notifications entirely

bouncing upon it in a manner most frightful to behold

Again, I think all parties have failed to grasp the idea that you could have walled Reform in to 15% by pushing the "They are not like any of us on anything".

Valentine's Day should have a horny mascot, not cupid

curing men's mental health just by lifting heavy stones together

COLUMBO: I don't claim to understand all modernist poetry, but my wife, she's a big fan. WILLIAM CARLOS WILLIAMS: That's nice to hear. COLUMBO: Just one more thing. About the plums that were eaten... we found a note. I have it right here in my pocket. Do you want me to read it to you?

the photo and headline framing make it seem like their gay love affair has rocked the foundations of the Beckham family

I see your boyfriend lost his life savings

Margot Robbie being so hot is doing a lot of the heavy lifting here

Valentine's Day gift for both meanings of the words

got my partners the greatest Valentine's gift of all; had a vasectomy last year

Tomorrow is Valentine’s Day

You do not have to be good. You do not have to face God and walk backwards into hell.

By following me just FYI you are all officially my Valentine, and I am looking forward to seeing what gift you got me 💋

guy who thinks the phrase is "you're eating me out of ass and home"

just been asked out by the son of god turns out I've got the man date of heaven

Sliding headfirst down a hill is coming home

Tudor to Hotspur is basically Shakespeare's history plays in reverse.