still time to jack off 50 times before 2026

okay best song to enter the New Year with, and obviously Auld Lang Syne can't be used my vote is Fare Thee Well/Dink's Song

if you start Before Sunset right now it will finish at 11:58pm, giving you a couple of minutes to stare at your disgusting reflection in the black TV screen

ah fuck 2026 is already woke, damn it

beautiful photo of my grandparents celebrating New Year's Eve!!!!

okay my highlights of 2025: 1. 2 (the first one): powerful start, only even prime 2. 5: strong, bold, feels even even though it's odd 3. 0: fun to colour in 4. 2 (the second one): derivative

[extremely quiet] 2025 was a pretty fantastic year for me, as has every year preceding it. skill difference I guess.

sorry but Corbyn's choice is also fucking mental

getting ready to post my "bro last night was a different year" joke at 12:01am

Who up forgetting they auld acquaintance

I've had 2-3 things get popular on here in the past couple of weeks and let me just say this; for the love of god so many of you need to learn how to fucking read

I've got pretty small hands, you know what that means... (all the better to f*st you with)

Hannibal: Have you ever been close to tragedy, or been close to folks who have? Have you ever felt a pain so powerful, so heavy you collapse? Will Graham: That’s the Mighty Mighty Bosstones. Do you listen to ska, Doctor Lecter? Hannibal: You sound unstable, Will. Draw a clock for me.

I would like to thank potatoes for always being there for me this year

The Apartment is a perfect New Years Eve movie and a perfect romcom that reminds us all that all romcoms need one important element to work: an attempted suicide

what a shame for those of you with terrible taste

I’m always reminded of the old classic from Alex Avery, “I know trans women are women because trans women don’t cum when I fuck them either”

in a change of pace from me, I am wishing everybody a very Horny New Year

one of the underlying premises of One Battle After Another is that revolutionaries are people, not political archetypes, and they are flawed—cowardly,selfish, impatient, short-sighted—in the way people tend to be flawed

just sneezed blood how's your NYE going

LeBron James has apparently played 35% of all NBA players in history?!?

chess endgame? oh I call it the mating press

My wife and her friends are watching Steel Magnolias, so I casually threw out a classic "...The way she just [clenches fist] steals all that frickin magnolia..." and let me tell you, the gap between online and offline people is probably the biggest cultural divide we face today.

watching Heated Rivalry and wow, I wish gay men were real

The final day

wow a guy who calls himself captainfanny is a danger???

The hottest, sexiest, most dominant guy you know is bedbound with a headache this New Year's Eve 🫡🫡🫡

I think the main problem with Starmer is that I can absolutely see Mark Corrigan being a ride-or-die fan, which is just about the worst insult I can imagine

I do think it's absolutely undersold that people dislike Starmer *because* his fans appear to be utterly condescending arseholes with zero self-awareness Like yes, all politicians and parties have v annoying and awful supporters, but I'm not sure any are as condescending as Starmer's?

I mean isn't it largely to do with a lot of Labour's policy and strategy attempting to appeal to a voter that no longer exists or just would never vote for them anyway They believed they'd win over the Tory and Reform voters and trying to get votes from a mythical 50yo white miner

If you keep telling social liberals to fuck off to impress the Times, don't act all surprised when they actually fuck off.

RIP Isiah Whitlock Jr. We loved all the characters you played, especially as Clay Davis. www.youtube.com/watch?v=4UXJ...

nobody has ever got mad at me on bluesky because my takes are always impeachably correct, skill difference I guess

also as a total aside but December should only have 30 days and 30th should be NYE hell maybe even 29 days

I think peak New Year's Eve activity is reading To Be Taught If Fortunate by Becky Chambers and enter 2026 with a renewed belief in the goodness and beauty of humankind

a molecule is a group of non-monogamous moles

It’s good to know that if you post good enough strangers will remember you fondly.

here's my roundup of the top 365 days of 2025! starting off with a classic of course; January 1st (1/365)

bro im not a homewrecker i wanna fuck your wife too

i miss when Arsenal were shit

honestly being in my early 30s and having a vasectomy, such aura

remember kids; pup-play is for life, not just for Christmas

oh fuck I thought they were just against *trains* ideology (fascism)

[mid customer service chat on a website and waiting for them to reply] I’ll just check my emails while I wait and come back to this [thirty years later] fuck