"the Fabians are socialist Marxists and want to destroy the right" i fucking *wish*

saw a guy in the city centre still rocking the 5" inseam shorts in this weather, sir we salute your slutty slutty thighs

the existence of a lovechild implies the existence of hatechildren

Got to imagine Labour's strategy board is just filled with stuff like: 'Digital ID card' 'Blame the Greens' 'Criminalise accents' 'Reinvade France' 'Starmer + ponytail = ??'

I have come to the conclusion the EHRC guidance on single sex spaces should not even come to Parliament. It is misleading and has caused distress for my trans constituents. I urge @bphillipsonMP to reject it on grounds of practicality and human rights. sianberry.org.uk/publications/l…

my niece said I looked older with a shaved head and I asked her how old she thought I was and she said "really old like 20 or 100 or something" just keeping you all humble

extremely disgusting and literally perfect (and can also scratch the same itch as breathplay for some folks if people feel it's too dangerous)

"uncontrolled immigration" is actually what I call going bareback

the 'king in the north' schtick, is basically on par with Keith and Drumpf

Yeah it’s time to bring back my all time favorite tweet, by @donaldhughes.ca

TIL it's 'kit and kaboodle' not 'kitten kaboodle'

honestly feeling Doja's 'Gorgeous' as an absolute banger

i'm too lazy to be ran through, I'm more of a walk through kind of guy

pointing to Starmer whenever he is on the TV and just saying to my wife "that's you that is"

remember kids, it's never truly the start of autumn until you have sex with a redhead

"we'll pay you in exposure" exposure? the thing that killed the Dyatlov Pass hikers? no thanks

israel: that wasn't very eurovision of you

will we need to submit our dick pics again for a digital ID card

has anybody told Jenrick to lower the Mounjaro dose

Starmer rocking up to the Labour Conference later this week

The brit card glows blue when there’s a tranny nearby

"uncontrolled immigration" is actually what I call going bareback

i would die for Frinos

it's extremely funny that HR got such a bad rap that they had to change it to "People" just to make it less toxic

babe that's my emotional support sloppy head

she I on my D until I card

somehow I'd missed that one of the Dutch teams is called Go Ahead Eagles

extremely disgusting and literally perfect (and can also scratch the same itch as breathplay for some folks if people feel it's too dangerous)

*rushes in, covered in sweat* guys could we try using NFTs as digital ID cards again

how does she manage to look ai generated

oh we are so fucking BACK

this email could have been a meeting and then I'd get to gaze upon your beautiful face over MS Teams my sweet love

do u think Andy Burnham and Keir Starmer have ever explored each other's bodies? who would top?

oh so now apparently I'm not allowed to put "must have a dumptruck ass" on my list of essential criteria for a job advert, fucking woke bs

we've already got a British ID card anyway

Morgan McSweeney doing better work for Marie than Starmer, fair play

Ed is actually AI's Dorian Grey and his jawline just gets more and more chiselled as AI becomes more and more clearly a bubble

I like it when anyone criticises London, and Sadiq posts something saying, “we are all multilingual and bisexual”

the worst part about the Digital ID card is that we'll get a whole new raft of American 'oi u got a licence for that bruv' memes

inventing a new field of study about gay saints called fagiography

bringing back saying 'godspeed' to people

'dudes rock' stocks in an all-time bear market

Differentiated research. on.ft.com/4nF3l6t

I see we are at the stage of turning to what future historians will call 'The Burnham Gambit'

Engraving two bullets with "this bullet only lies" and "this bullet only tells the truth" to really stump the FBI

i am singlehandedly converting women to enjoy guys in jockstraps, it's happening, 2026 will be the year of hetero jocks

once again you know the bullet carvings aren't from leftists because there's no way any of us would be that concise can't even add footnotes to it

okay so apparently being 'all bunged up' doesn't refer to buttplugs, my bad, sorry to hear about your cold

downing paracetamol so I can finally understand why my wife loves collecting shells from the beach so much